Big dilemma, advice please ...

Fluffy_Tigeress

Hi all,


I am a newbie, but not a troll! So please don't treat me as one.


My dilemma is as follows:-

hubby and I are approaching our 3 year wedding anniversary and 6 years together. We are very happy together but we do have a lot of debt - the debt repayments alone take up one of our wages.
The other wage covers utilities and living expenses.

I've recently been diagnosed with PCOS and endometriosis, as well as lichen sclerosis and low folic acid.

I'm being transferred from pillar to post with my consultants (not their fault, they are just making sure that I see the most suitable doctor)

The general consensus is that I am not ovulating at the moment at all, but that I still have the means to (I had tests to make sure I wasn't peri-menopausal or menopausal and I'm not)

I'm 28, hubby is 27.

The docs feel it will take a lot of work and meds for us to get pregnant but not impossible.

The problem?

The debts we have will take at least 4 years to clear completely. That's repayments of £1700 a month - includes 400 a month over payments to clear quicker (snowballing)

I always wanted to try for a baby once we were debt free, but now I'm waivering and think we should try earlier.

My maternity package is v good with work (6 months at 90%). Flexi-time and child care is all sorted.

What's the general consensus on here?

Should we wait until debt free? Or possibly try sooner?

We really don't know what to do.

Thanks in advance

Plans_all_plans

I'd really ask your consultants for their opinion. ie. if you wait 4 years, how much will your chances of falling pregnant decrease by?

Also, research any benefits you may be entitled to once you have a child. http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Expectingorbringingupchildren/index.htm

What does your husband want to do?

McKneff

Wait till your debt free and then you can fully appreciate the joys of parenthood without wondering whether you can afford
the next pack of nappies without having to resort to getting them on another credit card.

mwa

I say go for it, you don't know how long it will take to get pg and by time it happens you could be halfway through paying off your debts. No offence but at your age if you want 2 or 3 children you need to get cracking!!

Fluffy_Tigeress

He obviously wants children too and is happy to try now or later, but he is worried that if we wait, it will be too late.

The other problem being they don't know how long it will take to fall pregnant, if I do at all. I'll ask my consultant next week what the decreasing odds are ... Might have a better idea then.

In response to McKneff - we don't use credit cards and we overpay, so we would be in the position to decrease the over payments to pay for things needed for a baby.
The majority of the debt was left by an ex partner who disappeared abroad and left me with joint loans etc, so I'm paying them all off.

CH27

Difficult one.

Normally I would say be debt free first but given your medical history I am leaning towards maximising your chances to be a parent.

The stress of being in debt could be aggrevated in pregnancy so maybe you need to throw every penny possible at your debts.
Post a Statement of Accounts on the debtfree wanabee sudforum & see if people can advise you further about your finances.

leos-mummy

I would say go 4 it. given ur medical history it may take a while to fall pregnant so in the meantime keep payin as much off as u can then reduce your payments when kids arrive. do u really want to be debt free and miserable in years to come with no children to enjoy your life with. They cant take knickers of a bare a.r.s.e afterall

scooby088

I would go debt free first or atleast break the back of the debt first before even trying for a child as children are very expensive to look after and to provide for.

Threebabes

I would go for it, whilst trying to conceive you will be continuing to pay your debts off. What if you leave it too late and you can never have a baby? How would that make you feel?

MadDogWoman_2

Hi Fluffy,

I was diagnosed with PCOS at 22, it then took 8 years to conceive my DD.

There is lots of support to be had.

My treatment included: Clomid, Metformin, Xenical (PCOS causes weight issues for me). IUI and IVF.

I also took Folic Acid and GTF Chromium - we can be low in this mineral too.

Towards the end I was also taking a low dose aspirin everyday.

It's a mentally and physically draining journey if you have to go all the way up to IVF - my 8 years includes 2.5 years waiting for IVF on the NHS.

I conceived my DD following the IVF failing the extra hormones must have hung around for a couple of months, coupled with facing up to our debt issues - Lightbulb in June pregnant by July!

I agree with Leos-mummy, start treatment and continue to pay off the debts.

ERICS_MUM

Threebabes wrote: »

I would go for it, whilst trying to conceive you will be continuing to pay your debts off. What if you leave it too late and you can never have a baby? How would that make you feel?

I agree. Good luck, keep trying ;);)