Want to have a baby but have money worries

FERRY-ACROSS-MERSEY

elvis86 wrote: »

Well, as predicted, you've had some pretty irresponsible advice from some people ("Just go for it hun", "There's never a right time", "You'll getcha child benefit and tax creds, they'll see you through" etc), but I'm glad to see that most people have good advice and you chose to take it.

At 25 you have time on your side. It's much better to pay off your loan so that you're in a better (and less stressful) position when your baby comes along. Being a new mum who is stressed out by finances won't be good. Much better that mum is in a more comfortable position and can concentrate on baby.:)

You will, however, need to tackle your OH on his spending. If you do have a baby, there will be a a period (at least whilst you're on maternity leave) where you are essentially financially dependant on him. It's just not acceptable for his money to be "his", and for it to be a mystery to you what he spends it on. Imagine how that would make you feel? By the sounds of it, convincing him to address his spending may take some work, so all the better you've decided to hold off for a couple of years and have time to wear him down.:) Seriously, though. You can't have a child with the man if he's not responsible and mature enough to sort out your family's finances.

Best of luck.

Hi!
My hubby told me once that once we have a baby he will grow up and be responsible but honestly, i have my doubts, he is 30 and if he hasnt grown up already there is no hope... i shudder in thought that i wil have to be financially dependant on him or anyone else for a few months, i think i got my answer there - i need to save enough and pay off my debt so i dont have to depend on him for money. thank you!

FERRY-ACROSS-MERSEY

jenjade wrote: »

i would suggest you pop over to the debt free wannabe boards and the up your income board to see if there are anyways to smash your debt. it is amazing how much you can save by changing providers etc.

Well done you for thinking about the money side but trust me you will somehow cope there are loads of loving families out thier living on a tight budget with well adjusted well cared for children. money isnt everything but if you could clear your debt first you would be in a better position

Good luck whatever you decide

thanks! i will definitely check the board out!

mum2one

As the others have suggested, budget, old style saving, spending diary, maybe sit hubby down and say look if we have a baby this is what m income is going to drop to, therefore we now need to look at the finances, maybe when its in black and white it may just be the switch that triggers his lightbulb moment, I would say the next month, from 1st month, we both keep a spending diary, every penny in there, whether its 50p for a bar of chocolate, or £3 for a magazine, this will enable you to see where the money is going.
also look at doing a statement of affairs, there be a link on the top stickies, with both your incomes, and sometimes the 3rd pair of eyes, can pick up on somewhere you can save the pennies, and divert of one of the other debts, and word that way forward.
Take care xx

Pee

If you are scared by the thought of being financially dependent on him, is he the right person to have a baby with?

relic

If he's unwilling to show you he can budget now, and as you say, grow up and be responsible then i'm pretty sure he isn't ready for a child.

Me and my partner are due to have the baby born in December, we found out she was pregnant out of the blue. The timing isn't perfect, and I don't think it ever would be. I would clear your debts, and then look at the more serious issues of whether your partner can be mature enough to be responsible for yourself and a child.

DS4215

Best case and you get pregnant immediately, you have 6-7 months of both working to sort your finances. Can you manage it in that time? Sit down together, work out what you need to do to sort things out and start working towards it. Chances are it will take longer.

If you work out you can pay your debts off in a year, wait to try for 6 months. That won't hurt you really.

You can also sign up for Freecycle/eBay and start picking up stuff now. Sooner or later cots, prams, etc will turn up. The only thing you really need new is a mattress.