Want to have a baby but have money worries

CL

As you are 25, you can afford to wait a few years. Babies don't cost much, it's the loss of income while on maternity leave that is the biggest cost. I bought everything I needed for the baby every month while pregnant and still on full pay (including 2000 nappies!) and I breastfeed. Cot was given to us by my brother. You don't need to kit out a "nursery". A cot and normal bedroom furniture is fine.

FERRY-ACROSS-MERSEY

Kittendreich wrote: »

To me your age is vital in choosing the best option... If you are in your 20's then I'd wait a couple of years to try and get rid of as much debt as possible before trying - this will make it much easier when you do have a child to factor into your budget. If you are in your 30's you have less time to wait so I'd get on with it! If it happens straight away it will be difficult, but you'll cope (babies can be really expensive, but if you are careful and make the most of bargains, second hand, gifts etc then you can get by on much less)...and if it takes a while you won't regret waiting. Knowing what I know now I'd have started ttc earlier, but I didn't so fingers crossed for a miracle!

Sorry - cross posted with you there...but thankfully agreed with you! At 25 you should have plenty of time - even if you do end up needing help to conceive (most people don't - so don't worry!)

Hi!
thanks for your help, i hope it happens for you soon!
i think everyone on here is right, even if it took me awhile to see this - i should wait and pay of my debt first.
good luck!

FERRY-ACROSS-MERSEY

euronorris wrote: »

The part I've highlighted is a bit of a concern. Ask him to keep a spending diary, to see where the money goes and identify wastage areas so that you can cut back accordingly.

Do you both budget? If not, start now!

If he's travelling on trains regularly, surely a weekly/monthly/annual ticket would be much, much cheaper?

Looking at these things, cutting back and budgeting are all good habits to get into before a baby arrives.

Have you also looked at the Debt Free Wannabee board? Plenty of help over there to help you kick that debt asap!

Hi!
i have approached the subject of keeping a money diary with him, he doesnt see the point. i think we need to sit down and have a chat about it all. i do budget and know exactly what my money goes on, i think he doesnt even know the existance of the word 'budget'.
he travels by car all the time apart from an odd friday every couple of months where he takes the train.

CH27

FERRY-ACROSS-MERSEY wrote: »

Hi!
i have approached the subject of keeping a money diary with him, he doesnt see the point. i think we need to sit down and have a chat about it all. i do budget and know exactly what my money goes on, i think he doesnt even know the existance of the word 'budget'.
he travels by car all the time apart from an odd friday every couple of months where he takes the train.

Ask him how he can be a responsible Dad if he isn't responsible with the family finances.
I know it's harsh but it may shock him into action:D

FERRY-ACROSS-MERSEY

Thanks everyone for your comments and ideas!
it has definitely given me food for thought and i think i need to wait before starting a family and sort out my finances and my hubbys! even if it does sound like a daunting prospect...
Thanks everyone!

margaretclare

FERRY-ACROSS-MERSEY wrote: »

Is it wrong of me to be thinking on how to save money of the things that a baby would need and buy second hand, after all I have decided to bring this child into the world and it is up to me to ensure that they have everything they need shiny and new?

No, it is not wrong. Whatever a baby needs can usually be bought/borrowed second-hand and the baby will not care, will not notice, will not be harmed so long as the items are clean. My children had most things second-hand and they grew up just the same! I once knew a family where the new baby slept in a Moses basket and she was the 11th baby in that family to use the same basket.

There is an awful lot of rubbish talked about what babies need, mostly in an attempt to get parents to spend money they don't have. You could try cloth nappies instead of 'disposable' ones, which aren't disposable at all and may end up in landfill. Anyone with a normal domestic washing-machine can cope easily with cloth nappies.

Also, consider breast-feeding - much cheaper than formula milk which, in any case, is going up in price and requires bottles, sterilising, much more complicated.

Only you and your husband can make the ultimate decision, however!

HTH

PS: Have read the rest of the responses. I agree with others: sort out your finances, do a budget with your husband, pay off loans, and don't assume that the grandmothers are going to provide free child-care! They may have other things they want to do with their time and energy.

euronorris

FERRY-ACROSS-MERSEY wrote: »

Hi!
i have approached the subject of keeping a money diary with him, he doesnt see the point. i think we need to sit down and have a chat about it all. i do budget and know exactly what my money goes on, i think he doesnt even know the existance of the word 'budget'.
he travels by car all the time apart from an odd friday every couple of months where he takes the train.

I think CH27 has a good suggestion, although I'd be tempted to say to him that I'm not prepared to take that next step until he has a tighter grip of his finances!

Why does he get the train on those odd Friday's? Necessity, or choice? Either way, try to persuade him to plan ahead and see if he can get the tickets cheaper by booking in advance. Or, would travelling by train all the time be an option (a cheaper one)?

Claire_Bear

There's a thread on the Old Style board called 'Having a baby OS' which has a lot of great advice on why babies needn't be expensive, so might be worth having a look. I know that my parents were always totally skint when me and my brother were kids and I think we had a really good upbringing with lots of fond memories, in fact probably more than if we'd just been given loads of expensive toys and computer games to play with. I think it is a good idea to do some planning and saving if you can though, definitely do a spending diary and find ways to cut back, such as making a packed lunch for work instead of eating out, then put what you've saved by doing this into a jar, it'll soon build up

elvis86

Well, as predicted, you've had some pretty irresponsible advice from some people ("Just go for it hun", "There's never a right time", "You'll getcha child benefit and tax creds, they'll see you through" etc), but I'm glad to see that most people have good advice and you chose to take it.

At 25 you have time on your side. It's much better to pay off your loan so that you're in a better (and less stressful) position when your baby comes along. Being a new mum who is stressed out by finances won't be good. Much better that mum is in a more comfortable position and can concentrate on baby.:)

You will, however, need to tackle your OH on his spending. If you do have a baby, there will be a a period (at least whilst you're on maternity leave) where you are essentially financially dependant on him. It's just not acceptable for his money to be "his", and for it to be a mystery to you what he spends it on. Imagine how that would make you feel? By the sounds of it, convincing him to address his spending may take some work, so all the better you've decided to hold off for a couple of years and have time to wear him down.:) Seriously, though. You can't have a child with the man if he's not responsible and mature enough to sort out your family's finances.

Best of luck.

jenjade

i would suggest you pop over to the debt free wannabe boards and the up your income board to see if there are anyways to smash your debt. it is amazing how much you can save by changing providers etc.

Well done you for thinking about the money side but trust me you will somehow cope there are loads of loving families out thier living on a tight budget with well adjusted well cared for children. money isnt everything but if you could clear your debt first you would be in a better position

Good luck whatever you decide