I hate the way I think

BizzyMummy

Hi

I've not posted in a while - but have realised how much the help and support on this forum for everyday problems really really helps so just needed to pass on a bit of support. I also need tgo get back on the straight and narrow...

I too am in charge of the money and that means the one that says no all the time. But do you know with things like BBqs I've changed my mind a bit recently.... I can't take my children to the places their friends go all the time but I can, with a bit of forward planning, feed them BBQd sausages and ice lollies and they have so so much fun. If you have time try the following - I try to do the whole pad it out theory..

- if youve got time before the BBQ stock up at supermarkets early evening, tonight I got large bread rolls 20p a pack, really nice sausages for 69p down from 2.99 - straight in the freezer for when we need it

- have you got a local market? buy peppers, mushrooms, onions and make veggie kebabs

- bags of frozen sweetcorn - around £1 - defrost, wrap in foil with a bit of butter and salt and pepper, on outside of BBQ to cook

- do skewars with chicken or prawns but pad it out with veg - looks great, and the more you pad out the cheeper it gets

- always do a pasta salad, small cubes of roast potatoes, and green salad as it looks like youve done alot but for less money.

- with adults - cheap pimms, some shops do pimms copies do big jugs of that.

- to start - basics hoummus, tortillas, carrots, cucumer - cheap and tasty.


Only you know your friends and what you can ask them to do. Sometimes this is to do with pride, or what they expect you to do when you go to their house. I for one would'nt dream of turning up at someones house without something - even if they asked me not to take something I would see that as being polite and I would take an extra - so be honest.

If your hub by doesn't like this then theres no budget at all to be left lying about.

As for your children do not worry - you are teaching them the best lesson - we have so much, out of that you can have this or that - they'll not only learn to budget theyll learn to appreciate things.

BMx

YORKSHIRELASS

I have been really bad with money in the past but have learned so much, with the help of this website, that I have definitely changed for good. I think a lot of the problem for me is being scared of slipping back into my old ways.

My kids are 10 and 12 and so much in their lives seems to revolve around money and stuff which you "have" to have to be popular and accepted by your friends. So sad. I try to teach them that there is more to life than money but it gets more and more difficult as they get older.

Last time we went camping we stayed on a lovely farm. The kids even got to bottle feed a new born calf. When my son went to school and told a school friend his friend told him that was rubbish, his parents took him to a Haven camp site next to a theme park which was loads better!!!

So back to the original post. I would work out and agree an affordable budget for the BBQ and take it from there. Its all about trying to find a compromise I suppose, and if you spend more than you can afford you are not going to enjoy it.

Hope it goes well.

glittermonster

Thank you!
Salad from the Market is a brill idea!

glittermonster

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 2

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 1800
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1350

Total monthly income.................... 3150

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 545.7
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 485
Management charge (leasehold property).. 5
Council tax............................. 89
Electricity............................. 130 - DD is currently £107 but overpaying to help for when I'm off work
Water rates............................. 29.25
Telephone (land line)................... 14
Mobile phone............................ 33 this is for my iPhone £23/m and his £10top up
TV Licence.............................. 12.37
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 31
Internet Services....................... 9.5
Groceries etc. ......................... 240
Clothing................................ 0 mainly use birthday/christmas money or tesco clubcard vouchers, don't spend a great deal
Petrol/diesel........................... 190 i use £120 a month getting to work mainly
Road tax................................ 25 for 2 cars
Car Insurance........................... 90 for 2 cars
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 25 for OHs car, I get petrol money from work which pays for mine
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 50 OHs prescriptions and painkillers
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 15 2 lots of cat insurance
Buildings insurance..................... 20 controlled by management agency
Contents insurance...................... 9
Life assurance ......................... 22.28 just mine life and critical illness, will get OH some before baby comes
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 80 we don't save this at the moment
Haircuts................................ 5 i've not had mine cut in a year, waxing i now do myself, OH does his own
Entertainment........................... 20 one takeaway a month, tend to have friends over
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0 we need to add something here
Cat Jabs................................ 5
Bank account fees (non standard a/c).... 17
My Work Insurance....................... 7.6
Shared Misc Money....................... 100
OH - mob internet, lottery, cineworld... 50 to be cut when baby comes
OH Work Food............................ 90 he works 7 x 12 hours shifts
OH Smokes............................... 105 he will give up before baby comes

Total monthly expenses.................. 2549.7


Assets
House value (Gross)..................... 160000
Car(s).................................. 7000
Total Assets............................ 167000[/b]


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 100000...(545.7)....3.5
Secured Debt.................. 8000.....(150)......9
Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 900......(42).......0<
Tesco Loan.....................13823....(293)......7.8
Total secured & HP debts...... 122723....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Bed............................428.......26.75.....0
Tesco Visa - 0%-Jan............1030......10........0
Tesco Visa.....................2350......62........17.9
have guessed the interest rates and min payment - £1,030 interest free til Jan
Working Tax Credits............375.......20........0
Santander .....................500.......20........17.9
Santander - 0%-Nov.............1050......10........0
have guessed the interest rates and min payment - £1,050 interest free til Jan
Total unsecured debts..........5733......148.75....-
I'm trying to pay £450 a month off credit cards, but lately OHs car service and our bathroom needing fixing has got in the way, cleared over £700 worth of debt to my mum and my sister since Jan.


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 3,150
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,549.7
Available for debt repayments........... 600.3
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 148.75
Amount left after debt repayments....... 451.55

Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 167,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -122,723
Total Unsecured debt.................... -5,733
Net Assets.............................. 38,544


i know we could cut down on food, same on OHs work food and I am trying but.....
There are things we need to re-assess when I'm on ML and SMP, I'll be off from Nov 4th and back Feb 28th all being well.

In terms of the BBQ we saw burgers in Lidl yesterday £1.75 for 10, I asked OH if we'd get them and he said no - which is a lot of my challenge when trying to cut costs of food.

foxgloves

You can get Mobile contracts now for £15 & less per month. Your energy bills are high even at the £107 you usually pay. I've picked that one up instantly because we used to pay a lot more than that for electricity & gas combined & through being really careful about turning things off, not sitting in t-shirts with the heating full on, replacing some baths with showers, using washer on timer to wash clothes on cheaper overnight tariffs, only boiling the amount of water actually needed in the kettles, etc, etc, we have managed to cut our energy payments to £66 per month (for both electircity & gas). As the cost of energy is just forecast to rise & rise, it'd definitely be worth having a look at where you can cut back. It's amazing when you start looking at it just what gets wasted out of bad habits (Partner was always incapable of switching lights off.....my thing was boiling a huge kettle of water for one cup of coffee) Your car insurance seems a bit on the high side. We've just swapped ours as the renewal quote was such a silly increase & we now pay £19-something a month. Even with 2 cars that'd half your £90 payout so worth a look on Confused.com or similar. As for the smoking, I know giving up is supposed to be a pretty rum time, but I wouldn't wait till the baby is born to stop what is such a big waste of money. £100 is just too much to throw away when your income is due to drop & you have debts to pay. Your groceries aren't too bad at £240 but with more menu-planning & shopping around plus lots of cooking from scratch & batch-cooking (Old-style forum has lots of great ideas), you could maybe shave £20-40 off it & still eat well. The temptation is to get everything under one roof but if you get fruit & veg from your market you can save a lot on supermarket prices & as it isn't all in plastic bags it sometimes lasts longer too. I'm sure other people will be able to suggest lots of other things. Good luck x

glittermonster

thank you foxgloves

I did shop around for electric (we have ceiling heating can you believe) and also car insurance, will shop around for OH's when his renewal is due - I did mine in March and saved £200 on the renewal price -

I'll give OH a few more months before I pester him about smoking - I know it needs to be done in his own time, if I pester him into it it wont work.

Butti

Hello GH,

I know things are difficult for you at the mo but a couple of thoughts. Brillo idea to go to the supermarket the night before at marking down time - it is often meat that is marked down. Don't leave it too late though.

Ask people to bring salads and/or desserts and a bottle. You'll provide the meat and buns.

As for the kids, not easy but don't worry. I'll lay a bet that in 10 years time your son won't even be able to remember the name of the kid who told him his holiday was rubbish. Infact by then he'll probably just remember him as an obnoxious show off!

B