I hate the way I think

glittermonster

We have just organised a BBQ for friends - my first thought is how do we afford it.

We are meant to be paying £200-£250 a month each off credit cards. Oh's car is being serviced so he hasn't paid anything this month, his payment next month will be short too cos of the extra for his service/brakes/discs.

My car needs servicing in a few months so that'll have to come from my cc over payment.

Oh and I had a row about money last week, I think I'm jealous of how he thinks, how carefree he is. He now gives me all his money and I give it back to him for his set expenses and to a budget.... He's rubbish with money.

His answer to my maternity leave is we'll cope. Even when he'll only get spp for his paternity leave.

I wish I could just enjoy life a bit without the constant worry and number crunching. Go out and buy our baby new stuff and new maternity clothes, get my haircut or buy a book...

Sorry I'm ranting and wallowing ;,((

GeorgieFTB

Go ahead Glitter, you rant... I'm very good at venting as well!!

For the BBQ go BYOB, blame the bump... easy!

Missing some overpayments to cards... before your lightbulb moment would you have even thought to make more than an overpayment? Now your worried about not, I would say as attitudes go the change should be celebrated...

As for the surviving on maternity leave... just think about the time you will have to save your household money, think of it as a part-time job that can fit in around the sprog, just make sure you get the best deal for everything you buy!

All of this is easier said than thought, I know... I worry!

Gx

pinkprincess12

I dont have much advice about worrying and constant number crunching, but regarding the BBQ have you thought of telling your friends to bring something along? I have always done this (and whenever I go to BBQs everyone takes stuff along too), that way its not all on you. Also some butchers do great value BBQ bags so you'll get better quality meat and it can work out cheaper (depending on your butchers).

Also there are so many baby sites you can sign up for to get freebies and vouchers, I think I have a list of some somewhere as my sister just had her baby, let me know if you want the website addresses.

I wish you all the best, things will be ok, and you'll have a beautiful baby before long to love and adore x

glittermonster

I did suggest to him we do BYO but he refused, reckons it'll only cost us £40 - to feed 28 people! I told him he can do the shopping!

ermine

I did suggest to him we do BYO but he refused

Looks like you both have differing value systems. You need to get them into sync more else it isn't going to end well. Have you considered seeking help in a neutral arena (relate etc) where you can both express your aims and desires in life? Pennypinching might have some symbolic meaning for your OH from his early experiences or people he has seen, which is blocking his realising what has been obvious from Charles Dickens's time with old Wilkins Micawber that spending more than you earn results in misery.

It'll also be good for the little 'un if s/he sees both parents coming from roughly the same page...

foxgloves

Think you need to compromise on the food then. How about if you buy all the meat & stuff to bbq, plus the burger buns & relishes, & do the basic fried onions if that's the sort of thing you were thinking of, but ask everyone else to bring a side dish.....if each couple or person coming brought, say, coleslaw, crisps, a big green salad, olives, rice or couscous salad, etc, these are not expensive things but will mean you can mainly concentrate on gertting the best deal you can find on the meat. Or, say that you will provide the food, but ask everyone to bring along something they like to drink. I'd personally go for the first option as people gnerally bring a bottle or a few cans along anyway.

andy.m_2

you dont have to have steaks at a bbq.

You can buy value burgers and sausages, buns are usually 2 packs or more for a quid.
A salad is nice and loooks the part but it's all about the meat baby!

Today a bbq, tomorrow something else you need help to sort your differences soon

LittleMissMPB

Don't have any real advice to add.... I just wanted to mention in case you didn't know, sainsburys basics sausages are yummy and 49p for 8 if that helps budget.

timbstoke

Does anyone seriously expect free beer? At a BBQ of all things? If your friends are even remotely decent, they'll be bringing beer anyway! My approach to any gathering I'm hosting is simple: BYOB, and the fridge is considered private - put your beer in there, but don't take other peoples out - so if you only drink 'your brand', no one else touches it. The bath is full of ice and cans of 'communal' beer - if you're bringing beer to share, you take whatever you like from there, so you can still have a bit of variety. The sink is filled with cans of Tesco Value lager. If you didn't bring your own, that's what you're drinking. No one has ever turned up without beer more than once!

Trajal

Why do you hate that you are sensible with money?!

I sit around working out absolutely everything. My fiancee has no clue about our finances really, she just says 'can we afford it?' and I have to give an answer yes or no.

I don't always enjoy saying no, but she really values that I have such a tight rein on everything and we accept that we can't have things that we simply cannot afford. It gives us goals to save towards and work towards.

Maybe you should be feeling disappointed that your excellent ideas on money management are not being recognised and given credit.

But don't hate the way you think.

mrsb83_2

Don't worry about missing some overpayments.

It'd help if you started putting some money aside for car repairs, though. I know not everyone recommends it, but putting money aside really took a lot of the stress out of going to the garage.

I don't think of it as an emergency fund, because car expenses are pretty much guaranteed.