Starting Again

beanielou

You are not worthless.
Mind games,that is all it is.

Skint_but_Optimistic

its very draining.

Apparently he has spoken to my daughter and is going to have to speak to me about my negative attitude.

He is a real twit, and full of his own importance! I will tell him!

Money_mayhem

Good for you Skint x

Skint_but_Optimistic

Cheers lou & MM. My eldest is a nurse practitioner, and shes a clever girl. She is having counselling because he has damaged her so much and her expectations were never met, I try and save DD2 from it and make her see the issues which happen. I could just leave it but I think she will end up really hurt.

princesst84

hey Skint, you are absolutely not worthless, you are doing an amazing job bringing up your children all the while working and fighting the debt mountain along with managing two households!!

I dont have much advice other than to say in time your daughter will see him for what he really is and see how hard you worked to protect her from his stupidity!
Unfortunately teenage girls can be pretty hurtful.

Have a hug and a nice glass of wine

xxx

princesst84

and...:j:j:j on the Jan debt payments!!!!

You will have p2p gone in no time

xx

Skint_but_Optimistic

What a lovely world it is when you wake up and manage to dig yourself out in under half an hour:j. Am thanking heavens for small mercies.

Thanks all for your support, but I cant help feeling less than wonderful. What on earth was I doing with Mister Too Big for his boots in the first place? Hes got two cars - both brand new.
Blames me for just about everything which ever went wrong in his life. His standards are so high that hes unable to ever be happy with anything, hence why he spends so much and is so uber critical of the kids.

He met the love of his life in my opinion, four and a half years ago. This woman was small and vibrant and life and soul of the party. She liked to spend money and was a bit gobby but I am trying to describe her non contentiously.:rotfl:

He was besotted. DD2 was swept along with this, she was given clothes and toys by this woman and she was treated really nicely. At first.

Then he moved in with her - he had been living at the house which the court since awarded me, the one he claimed he bought me out of!!!. The weekends then, when DD2 was with him took a turn. Her girls wouldnt let her sleep in any of their rooms, or they wouldnt double up. She had to sleep on a sofa, so couldnt go to bed until everyone else had, and on a morning she was rudely awakened and any personal belongings she had put on the table were flung on the floor by these girls.
She went to the object of her fathers affection and she laughed in her face, and stated it was the girls house. She went to her dad and he said he would have a word.

Nothing was ever done. This woman had him entranced. She got pregnant and my daughters treatment suffered so much so that she no longer wanted to go, but her dad would talk her round. I was there as a shoulder to cry on and I tried to keep out of it, I trusted him to treat her well.

She had the baby and my daughter wasnt allowed near him, or to hold him. During the night my daughters sleep was disturbed when she was with him, as bottles were made up and baby was soothed. Her dad doted on his new son.

Things went sour fairly quickly. It got to the point where they were fighting and she had said my daughter wasnt welcome in the house anymore. He left her and went back to his mothers, now with an additional child, who he has three days a week.

He claims he left because she said DD2 wasnt welcome, however on clearing the house we found a receipt for flowers and underwear he had sent her, and a letter she had written to him saying she didnt want him back no matter how he begged.

Then he was back at his parents until he was with the lady with the three boys, who to be fair is nicer to DD2 but IMO is still a little cuckoo. This is the one who is reappearing on the scene, and they arent in a relationship. Just friends.....

Last night he dropped DD2 off late. In our snowy street he skidded away in his four wheel drive, he doesnt care at all. He didnt come and tell me anything. I was prepared for him.

Anyway, thats a bit of a tale. 44p paid off amex today, its got to do. Child benefit due monday and im waiting of some ebay money to trickle in so I can make some more payments. I really hope they announce a free listing weekend!

Tonight I will clean the bathroom, iron and do some surveys. Made paper logs last night, I know how to live.

PinotGrigio41

Oh my word Skint, what a muddle this has all been.

Not sure what to say other than whats already been said. You are doign everything in your power to look after and protect your daughter. You are not worthless and I can totally see why you are so worried, I would be the same.Teenage Girls and their Dads can be a funny combination cant they ? A friend of mine had smilar thing, she wanted to live with dad, she was devastated but agreed it, 6 months later daughter is back home and living with her mum as Dad was off out galivanting all the time and daughter was left home alone. She suddenly realised where the grass really was greener.

You are doing great, just try and remember that !

Skint_but_Optimistic

Thanks Pinot. Ive re read what Ive written and I am becoming increasingly convinced that he has problems which need professional help. With all the guilt trips and stuff he pulls and the attempted leverage at and about the girls, well, it beggars beleif.

Am stillsaving my 1 and 2ps. I am doing ok at it!

Skint_but_Optimistic

Forgot to say..

I am working really hard to clear the payments as much as possible this month and we are really pulling out the stops and focussing on the more expensive debts. However this will take a hit at the beginning of February as I have to clear a Northumbrian Water debt of 260 pounds. I think I will need to start chipping away at it by using up anything I have in my credit cards and then I can pay it back. Immediately if not sooner.

Anyway, this is why this month looks so great, as next month will be a bit pants.

Although next month I will be clearing P2P. So I wont beat myself up!