Becoming a SAHM-feeling guilty

go_cat

Does anyone else think there should be more childcare options on a saturday not just monday - Friday be it nursery or childminder, there are so many parents struggling at weekends due to this :mad:

meritaten

Who better to provide childcare than a mum? being a SAHM can be a full time job - you will have time to search out the best bargains, save money by making your own stuff - perhaps learn a new skill which could be lucrative. or to do distance learning which would qualify you for a better job in the future. being a SAHM does NOT mean stagnating or that you wouldnt be contributing to the family finances.
and.........if you find you really enjoy it - then perhaps you could become a childminder yourself!

Kimberley82

go_cat wrote: »

Does anyone else think there should be more childcare options on a saturday not just monday - Friday be it nursery or childminder, there are so many parents struggling at weekends due to this :mad:

Me me me, its a nightmare, unless you work mon-fri 9-5 its really hard to get childcare

Spendless

There are retail jobs that don't require sat working. I had two when DS was small. The first was in a conveniece store think like a Spar but Indpendant and I worked 2 evenings plus 1 shift on Sunday. The other I worked Mon-Fri 5pm-8pm in a large DIY chain doing 'facing up'. So you could keep an eye out for anything like this.

skintchick

Why on earth should a full-time mum feel guilty?

I am one, and I have never felt guilty. What would I feel guilty about? Providing the best possible care for my child? Being there for my child for all those difficult times? Giving my child the knowledge that I put her first and am always there for her? Nope. No guilt here!

And I'm not saying working mums aren't there for their children, of course they are, I'm just trying to make a point about full-time mums. Bringing up a child IS a full-time job, if you do it right, and I will never feel guilty about being at home. It's not like I'm sitting with my feet up!

grey_lady

It would be interesting to hear the ops partners point of view though, I bet that there are lots of fathers who would love to be able to stay home and be the full time childminder. Why shouldnt the op find a well paid job and let her partner stay at home?

2boysmum

Spendless wrote: »

There are retail jobs that don't require sat working. I had two when DS was small. The first was in a conveniece store think like a Spar but Indpendant and I worked 2 evenings plus 1 shift on Sunday. The other I worked Mon-Fri 5pm-8pm in a large DIY chain doing 'facing up'. So you could keep an eye out for anything like this.

thanks Spendless but it's not just the Saturday shift that is the problem tbh it's all the bank holidays etc, and the fact that I'm more or less paying most of my wages out to childcare.

skintchick wrote: »

Why on earth should a full-time mum feel guilty?

It's more to do with guilt about not bringing in any money, maybe guilt is the wrong word! It just feels a bit strange that I won't be earning my own money. I was a single parent before I met OH and was very independant, and although we are VERY stable I think its the idea of relying on him to pay for everything

grey_lady wrote: »

It would be interesting to hear the ops partners point of view though, I bet that there are lots of fathers who would love to be able to stay home and be the full time childminder. Why shouldnt the op find a well paid job and let her partner stay at home?

It was his idea, actually he did this when our 2nd was born, I had a very well paid job and he had just had an accident and was unable to work, so he stayed at home and it worked very well, he was a very good stay at home parent, but it wasn't enough for him, which I totally understood, so once he was able he went back to work and our children went into childcare, at that time we both had our mothers to help out with childcare but since then both have passed away. We went on holiday when our DS was 3 and he told me how he liked me being there and he never saw me and he was sad, that is when I decided to work part time

Spendless

2boysmum wrote: »

thanks Spendless but it's not just the Saturday shift that is the problem tbh it's all the bank holidays etc, and the fact that I'm more or less paying most of my wages out to childcare.



It's more to do with guilt about not bringing in any money, maybe guilt is the wrong word! It just feels a bit strange that I won't be earning my own money. I was a single parent before I met OH and was very independant, and although we are VERY stable I think its the idea of relying on him to pay for everything



It was his idea, actually he did this when our 2nd was born, I had a very well paid job and he had just had an accident and was unable to work, so he stayed at home and it worked very well, he was a very good stay at home parent, but it wasn't enough for him, which I totally understood, so once he was able he went back to work and our children went into childcare, at that time we both had our mothers to help out with childcare but since then both have passed away. We went on holiday when our DS was 3 and he told me how he liked me being there and he never saw me and he was sad, that is when I decided to work part time

Thyen I wouldn't feel guilty about not fetchign money in if the majority is going in childcare. How old are the children?

joeblack066

smithyjules wrote: »

I don't know about you OP but since I've become a mum there is always something I feel guilty about!Too much of this not enough of that, should I shouldn't I?! It's a hard task trying to find a balance that works for you and your family, so give yourself some credit for trying to find a way of life that suits you all and if it's not quite right you just try something else. My Hubby is at Uni and we have 2 children so I went back to work after mat leave doing evenings and weekend to keep us afloat but I hated being away at the childrens bedtimes and felt so guilty about it. I've since changed my job so I work mon-thurs and feel so much better about everything...although now I can't be a parent helper on Nursery trips which is a bit sad and does give me a twinge of guilt...can't win eh!

You are doing your best, an no doubt you will work just as hard at home looking after the family, hope it all goes well for you all.

My best friend once said "A Mother's place is in the guilt!" cos we always manage to feel guilty about something! :-)