ASD, ADHD - son running off. Anyone else have this issue?

hethmar

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Strapped

Hi, I have an escapee on my hands too, and like you his school now have a shiny new fence and lockable gate. With regards to extra activites, do you claim DLA for him? As this is what I spend my son's DLA on (eg he needed to have 1:1 swimming lessons as he couldn't cope with group ones). Like your son, he doesn't really "get" team sports so tbh I've sought out different activities for him and he has settled really well with taekwon-do. Fortunately, he does do some football at school but he has a TA who enables him to do his own thing practicing ball skills but encourages him to join in when he can.

Also, if you claim certain benefits, there is a fund worth about £300 per year for after school clubs etc - ask your council or the school about it (although I got slammed on MSE last time I mentioned this but hey ho). Perhaps you could use this for some 1:1 attention - does the school have any suitable TAs you think might be willing to do some private work? Otherwise I would try contacting the Autism team at your council as they will be able to help. Or try the National Autistic Society.

Strapped

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Would it work if you explained to your son that if he wants to go to the sports lessons that he will either have to join in, or if he really can't, that he must just sit quietly at the sidelines and not run off? And that if he does keep running away that he won't be able to go again? Sometimes children with these type of problems respond well to logic.

Hope you can get it sorted.

I think the key is to tell them what they should do when they get stressed eg as you suggest sit quietly on the sidelines. The OP will need to discuss it with the staff as to what their approach should/could be if this happens too. The trouble is, if the OP's son is anything like mine, they can get very embarrased and stressed at the drop of a hat and desperate to get away from the situation so it helps if they have a pre-defined plan/safe place to go eg a mat to sit on, preferably a "cosy corner", to have a bit of time out where they know they won't be followed/nagged so long as they stick to that one place.

blue_monkey_2

Another quickie, I have read and I will respond more later and check out the think HUGE THANK YOU'S for those that have replied and have taken me seriously and have not just told me to tell him off. Sadly it doesn't work like that. Things have been ticking along just fine recently but it has only now become an issue.

I am going to speak to the school, they will say he does not need a statement or extra help etc... but I think I am going to apply for one anyway and see what happens.

I just wanted to add in regards to the having a safe place. The school have told me that as it is team games he needed to be a 'team player' and so sitting out would not be an option. They did 'speak to him' about running off and when I spoke to him about it (as they had told me to) he now says he does not want to go anymore anyway so they have spoiled him wanting to do that I think, I have no idea what they said to him.

We have had a funny few days, since this happened he just wants to sit and be on his own in the playroom recently, does not even want to go outside and play which is really unusual and not like him at all. I think this is just the age where it all 'happens' and things starts to get a little harder.

I've not had an appointment for ages with the clinic, he is medicated yes, they put it up without seeing him because he was not coping at school. I've not found the Docs to be all that brilliant since he was diagnosed and have thought about seeing a paediatrician privately but do not know where to start with that either.

I'll be back later, the dogs need a walk now. No rest for the wicked, LOL, I must have been very naughty!!

Oh, I do go to a support group but someone bought something from me (I work for myself) and never paid me and I got tired of asking for it and I feel too stupid to go back for being shafted for the money. Sigh. I think I might choose a different group though. Things have just been getting me down lately.

CountryGuy

You definitely need to push for a statement. Go see the consultant he is under at the hospital and explain the problem. Ask him/her to write to the school. Then fight like crazy to get him a statement. This can only be achieved if you can get the school behind you. They should be keeping IEP's (personal education plans) for him. If not, ask why!

Once he has a statement, outside agencies can become involved who will set targets and exercises for your child. So for example, if they say he needs to work on his social skills, they will take your child out of class for short periods of time along with 1, 2 or 3 of his classmates and play games with them. The outside agency would also come in and do their own observations to help them set targets. Once he has a statement, he should also get some support from an assistant. They aren't usually good at coming forward with these so again you might have to fight for one. The support assistant will work closely with the outside agency and the class teacher.

Sadly and very wrongly, parents are having to fight harder and harder these days to get the support their child needs.

CountryGuy

here are a couple of links that might help you understand the procedure better.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Schoolslearninganddevelopment/SpecialEducationalNeeds/DG_4000870

http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice-about-education-for-parents/Special_Educational_Needs/getting-the-statement-right-a-practical-guide-to-parents-legal-rights

http://tmwintk.realhistories.org.uk/foundation/what-if-my-child-has-special-educational-needs.html

Good luck

Strapped

blue_monkey wrote: »

Another quickie, I have read and I will respond more later and check out the think HUGE THANK YOU'S for those that have replied and have taken me seriously and have not just told me to tell him off. Sadly it doesn't work like that. Things have been ticking along just fine recently but it has only now become an issue.

I am going to speak to the school, they will say he does not need a statement or extra help etc... but I think I am going to apply for one anyway and see what happens.

I just wanted to add in regards to the having a safe place. The school have told me that as it is team games he needed to be a 'team player' and so sitting out would not be an option. They did 'speak to him' about running off and when I spoke to him about it (as they had told me to) he now says he does not want to go anymore anyway so they have spoiled him wanting to do that I think, I have no idea what they said to him.

We have had a funny few days, since this happened he just wants to sit and be on his own in the playroom recently, does not even want to go outside and play which is really unusual and not like him at all. I think this is just the age where it all 'happens' and things starts to get a little harder.

I've not had an appointment for ages with the clinic, he is medicated yes, they put it up without seeing him because he was not coping at school. I've not found the Docs to be all that brilliant since he was diagnosed and have thought about seeing a paediatrician privately but do not know where to start with that either.

I'll be back later, the dogs need a walk now. No rest for the wicked, LOL, I must have been very naughty!!

Oh, I do go to a support group but someone bought something from me (I work for myself) and never paid me and I got tired of asking for it and I feel too stupid to go back for being shafted for the money. Sigh. I think I might choose a different group though. Things have just been getting me down lately.

We had to apply for a statement for our son as the school dragged their heels about it. I think they just hoped we would take him out of the school instead of making them do what they needed to do for him. Go for it.

hethmar

Honestly, join adders.org - there are people on there with decades of experience who can help you, whether it be emotional support or filling in forms, putting forward your arguments etc.

Savvy_Sue

I think the thing is that sometimes they think they WANT to do these things, but then they find it's not what they expected. We had DS1 in a drama club for a while, which was fine until he decided he didn't want to do what everyone else was doing ... he was never into team things either!

blue_monkey_2

Morning everyone, I wanted to come back when I had sat down and done some positive things instead of just whinge and worry about them!!

I joined adders. I had looked at the site before but I find it difficult ot navigate and so give up after a while. I went onto the forums and signed up there too but it will not let me view them. I think they have to confirm me or something, it'll let me log in but I cannot do much else on it. Will wait for them to confirm me then I guess.

I have called the docs this morning and spoken them then. I've not been seen for a year so they have 'bumped' us onto the ADHD nurse. Apparently the doctor is too busy to see us. I also, rather interestingly found out from the secretary that his notes say that he does not have ASD but we got told he did, the school got told he did and the Autism Advisory Service (AAS) have come out to see us. She said she was going to speak to the doctor and get back to us. My worry is that we will not get the support we need.

Tbh, I am a tad tired of the NHS Paediatrician to be honest, this has dragged on forever now and I want to go and see a private paediatrician. When they call back to let me know whether my son as ASD or not (!!) I am going to see what they say. He has been on medication a year now but has had no follow up appointments in that time. I can understand them being busy but they did tell me this morning that he was being bumped the doctor was too busy to see him. I've just called my GP and I can go and see the doctor and asked to be referred privately so I think I am going to do that. At least he can be monitored properly if I am paying for it rather than dumped on meds and left to get on with it.

I've called the AAS and they have toldme to get together with the school and make a social story about the running away and playing team games. This has helped in the past so I am speaking to them. The school said he had 'problems with sport' but did not say what they were so I am going to spend today getting to the bottom of that.

It is so draining, not felt like this for a long time. The AAS were great though.