ASD, ADHD - son running off. Anyone else have this issue?

blue_monkey_2

I am not sure if this is the right place to ask - it is about money in a way as I am losing it, LOL.

My son has ASD and ADHD, if he does not like the activity he is doing he runs off.

I was called into school last week and have been told that if he runs off from Sports again (he ran into the school) then he can no longer take part as they are 'team sports' and he needs to be part of the team.

When it comes to Gymnastics, if he is doing something 'that he already knows how to do' he runs out and sits in the corner of a different hall. Again, he has told he can no longer take part.

For gymnastics I am there, for the school one I am not. Even if I am there I cannot get him to go back in the room if they are doing something he does not want to do (he cannot see the point of spending 15 minutes perfecting a forward roll for example)

I do not know what to do, these are the only 2 places that have so far, will have him and even they are getting fed up with him now. Is there anything else he can do, somewhere that will cater for his needs? He does not get team sports. Is there somewhere specific that kids with these conditions can go to do? Is there something I am missing out on?

Both have said 'we know he has this disability but he cannot take part if he runs off'. So much for inclusion. Should they have some provision for this part of his disability? Is there anywhere I can find out will take children with disabilities like this, who have more helpers?

He went to a party a few weeks ago and for the first time ever I left him as I know the mum and I thought she would keep an eye on him. Turns out he disappeared from there as well. She made a passing comment about him 'disppearing' but they found him again but from what he told me he ran from the restaurant, back to the car but found the car was not where I had left it and so he went back and sat at the entrance of the restaurant. No-one else saw him leave and no-one realised he had left, they just realised that he was not there and they could not find him 'for a bit'. !!!!!!!! :eek::eek:

How do others deal with the running away from things they cannot cope with? Does it ever change?

themull1

Would the council be able to provide an assistant to look after him? or are there special schools to cater for this? I can understand a normal schools point of view, in that they've got loads of kids to look after, so can't spend a lot of time on one child with a disability.

And don't leave him at any more parties on his own.!!!

shykins

with my son i gradually set boundaries of where he is allowed to run too if he needs to get away. also we try to have a 'safe place' agreed with the school that he can go too

eg when he runs at school he used to go right off school property, we explained that couldnt happen he MUST stay on school property. once we had achieved that we moved onto u go to your safe place and sit there. it take some time but i think (hope?) we have now achieved it

good luck

sock-knitter

blue monkey, both my sons still run off if they dont want to do something, they are now 16, so i dont think they will change. mainstream school, didnt have the staff to chase after them and bring them back, tho one son did find a tree he liked at the end of the school field and stayed there, rather than leave the premises but he had to be taught he could not leave the premises altogether.
at 11 they went to a special school as they couldnt cope with mainstream, and they had the staff to keep an eye on them better
have you tried banardo's, they have a scheme, but i dont know if it is nationwide, where they get a support worker to stay with your son, and support him at his activity of choice.
do u have a social worker, they could arrange direct payments for him, so u can employ someone to be his personal assistant, who would go with him to activities, and keep an eye out for him, we've just been successful in applying for this, and now advertising for two personal assistants to go swimming or cycling with my lads
shaz x

blue_monkey_2

Sorry, just a quickie as today is my only 'proper' day off to sit with friends, drink coffee, talk crap and eat crisps, LOL!!

He doesn't have to take part, these are extra, he wants to but sometimes I think they just get a bit much for him and he just legs it. We have had a few issues with him running out of school but they have fenced and locked gates now.

I am not sure the council would give him an assistant, who would I need to ask for this.

I just want him to be able to do something if he wants to.

The party was with a friend and she helps in the school sometimes so I thought she would know better. Obviously not. She turned and said 'he seems fine to me, are you sure there is anything wrong with him'.... but oh, he did go missing for a bit. At which point I left before I said something I regretted. However, no, I'll not be leaving him with anyone again, sadly. It is hard when you do not have others to help, I thought it would be nice to leave him there while I took DD out for some lunch, just us together so we could sit and have a nice quiet meal for a change - which never happens as DS is always there and everything is fast and rushed and in and out before he kicks off. It was nice but that is what I came back to so lesson learned.

blue_monkey_2

Is it possible I could pay someone to go with him? Does anyone know where I would get help like this? Would it be a private thing or is there a database of people that help? This is all very new to me, I've always done it on my own (obviously with my husband too but he goes to work).

No, he does not get any support at school, they seem to deal with him in their way there and it seems to work, this is an after school club at the school, that he asked to go to and wants to go to.

lilly81

Hi Bluemonkey,
My son also has ASC and ADHD, he also likes to do a runner.
Where abouts do you live?
In my area there is funding to pay for someone to supervise your child in out of school activities and a database of places that cater for special needs.
Have you thought about one to one gymnastic lessons catered to him? You could get a grant to cover the cost, cerebra would be able to help with this.
As for school, does he have an autism advisor (or similar) come out to see him? If so they can teach him and the SCHOOL coping stratagises,
I would also suggest contacting your local parent partnership as I think he will need one to one during P.E., someone to reassure him and calm him when he does run off.
Good luck
Lilly

Beki88

Just a quick post from me. Here was have a service that picks the kids up once a week takes them to a group and brings back again (free)
It is called aiming higher.
I did a quick google and found some stuff for you as they may do something in your area:
http://www.hertsdirect.org/infobase/docs/pdfstore/ahhubspoke.pdf

not sure if this link will work:
http://www.google.co.uk/search?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=1G1GGLQ_ENUK306&q=aimign+higher+for+cdisabled+children&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=#hl=en&rlz=1G1GGLQ_ENUK306&sa=X&ei=zQ_JTav1JM7B8QPnvu3OBg&ved=0CBwQvwUoAQ&q=aiming+higher+for+disabled+children+hertfordshire&spell=1&fp=4ffca68393f93048

good luck!

SingleSue

shykins wrote: »

with my son i gradually set boundaries of where he is allowed to run too if he needs to get away. also we try to have a 'safe place' agreed with the school that he can go too

eg when he runs at school he used to go right off school property, we explained that couldnt happen he MUST stay on school property. once we had achieved that we moved onto u go to your safe place and sit there. it take some time but i think (hope?) we have now achieved it

good luck

Same here......

We also when we go anywhere, or have a party etc, make sure there is a safe place for youngest to go to when things get too much.

Middle son was my great escapologist though, no fence could hold him..something his primary school found out when he escaped over their 'escape proof' fence I Think he was finally cured of his escapology when he escaped from a different school, got lost and scared the hell out of himself.

seven-day-weekend

Would it work if you explained to your son that if he wants to go to the sports lessons that he will either have to join in, or if he really can't, that he must just sit quietly at the sidelines and not run off? And that if he does keep running away that he won't be able to go again? Sometimes children with these type of problems respond well to logic.

Hope you can get it sorted.

CountryGuy

blue_monkey wrote: »

Sorry, just a quickie as today is my only 'proper' day off to sit with friends, drink coffee, talk crap and eat crisps, LOL!!

He doesn't have to take part, these are extra, he wants to but sometimes I think they just get a bit much for him and he just legs it. We have had a few issues with him running out of school but they have fenced and locked gates now.

I am not sure the council would give him an assistant, who would I need to ask for this.

I just want him to be able to do something if he wants to.

The party was with a friend and she helps in the school sometimes so I thought she would know better. Obviously not. She turned and said 'he seems fine to me, are you sure there is anything wrong with him'.... but oh, he did go missing for a bit. At which point I left before I said something I regretted. However, no, I'll not be leaving him with anyone again, sadly. It is hard when you do not have others to help, I thought it would be nice to leave him there while I took DD out for some lunch, just us together so we could sit and have a nice quiet meal for a change - which never happens as DS is always there and everything is fast and rushed and in and out before he kicks off. It was nice but that is what I came back to so lesson learned.

Are you receiving copies of his IEP's? Do you have regular meeting with the SEN teacher?

If not then you need to make an appointment to see them.

I'm assuming your son is under the hospital with his ADHD, does he have any medication? Who diagnosed him? The hospital should be communicating with the school. Outside agencies should be involved. Does he have a statement?