No will - who gets what when stepchildren involved?

patchwork_cat

secondone wrote: »

I'm sorry you think I come across as 'grasping' as that is definitely not the case. Unless you think being denied one or two mementos of my Dad's is fair - and no, I'm not talking about money but personal items, such as my grandads tools. Nothing of any monetary value but rich in sentiment when you only have a couple of photos from childhood.





I understand my Dad and stepmum leaving things to each other. I don't understand why all children cannot have equal shares. Which is what they would both have assumed. It is only chance that my father died first.

There may well be a will. Unfortunately I have to rely on my step-siblings good nature to find this out (in time, obviously not whilst they are grieving) and the very fact that they did not think to include me when clearing/selling the house, leaves me feeling negative.

Obviously this is a delicate subject so I am sorry if I come across on the defensive, the only thing I would like is fairness for everyone.

Even if there is a will if the deceased did not specifically say x can have it, if the executor is small minded you won't get sentimental items. In my case my step father left a will and split all monies equally with his son as joint executor. My step brother would not allow us anything from my stepfather's flat - even access, because he had not specifically said that we could have items. My mother had died 15 years previous and silly things that I remember buying with my mum and I would have liked - even things that I remember from the house when mum and dad where together were denied to me and went to clearance for pennies ( they were not worth anything other than sentimental- but step brother was deeeply mistrustful, and thought that someone might get more than him!)

All in all never trust that step siblings will look after you as they can seriously surprise you. I would have never thought my stepbrother was such a mean spirited, jealous, lazy little man.

secondone

patchwork cat: sorry you were treated badly by your step brother in your case.
It just highlights how complex these situations can be, even if a will is made.

Unfortunately there are no 'sentimental items' left now as the house has been sold and was cleared before my stepmum's recent death. Which is why I don't trust my step siblings to do anything other than just look after their own interests. (And makes me wonder if there either was no will to start with, or it has been 'lost'. Otherwise, how would they be able to sell the house without deeds/probate etc?).

I think meritatan's post #26 summed it up the best.

Savvy_Sue

secondone wrote: »

I thought something similar, and believe they should automatically give a guide out when people get married for that is when your circumstances change the most. Especially when you consider the fact that marriage makes any previous wills invalid.

Giving them out when you've just had a child is also important.

It may just look a tad insensitive though: oh good, you're getting married, is one of you planning to bump the other one off already? kind of thing ... I still think it's a good idea!

secondone wrote: »

(And makes me wonder if there either was no will to start with, or it has been 'lost'. Otherwise, how would they be able to sell the house without deeds/probate etc?).

Deeds / probate, it depends how the house was held. If it was held in such a way that the whole house passed to the survivor on the first death, then selling it on the 2nd death would have been simple - produce first death certificate to prove the house is wholly owned by the survivor.

If no will was found, presumably first your mother and then your step-siblings would have applied for Letters of Administration. Although if your Dad's estate was very small apart from half a house (which I think wouldn't have counted if passing immediately to your step mum), even that wouldn't have been necessary.

Has the funeral taken place? While it's not a time for asking "what am I getting?" it can be a time for saying "I'm so sorry about your mum, she was always so good to me and to my dad, is there anything I can do to help, is settling the estate and house sale going OK?"