No will - who gets what when stepchildren involved?

Savvy_Sue

secondone wrote: »

My one chance seems to be if any wills surface. I was hoping the probate search would offer some clues but drew a blank. Is there any way of finding a will, apart from through probate searches and perhaps phoning local solicitors?

I don't know of one, but TBH what do you hope to gain by finding one?

If your Dad's estate was so small that it would all have passed to his wife, your stepmum, is it likely that her estate will amount to very much? And if your step-siblings didn't think to ask you before they cleared the house whether you would like anything, is there anything worth having, apart from money?

If you do find that your dad left a will which wasn't dealt with properly, and that you should have benefited from it, how much is it worth to get your 'entitlement'?

It would have to be a very considerable sum before I would consider insisting on my rightful entitlement, when your step-siblings are (presumably) mourning their mother, just as you did your dad. This is just my opinion, of course.

If you find a will for your step-mum, in which you are named, that's a different matter: I'd approach the executors and remind them of my existence and make sure they had my address.

But even if you are sure your Dad would have wanted something different to happen, I'm honestly not sure it's a path I'd want to go down ... even if you're already 'out of touch' with your step-siblings!

secondone

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I don't know of one, but TBH what do you hope to gain by finding one?

If your Dad's estate was so small that it would all have passed to his wife, your stepmum, is it likely that her estate will amount to very much? And if your step-siblings didn't think to ask you before they cleared the house whether you would like anything, is there anything worth having, apart from money?
Yes, justice!
If you do find that your dad left a will which wasn't dealt with properly, and that you should have benefited from it, how much is it worth to get your 'entitlement'?
It would have to be a very considerable sum before I would consider insisting on my rightful entitlement, when your step-siblings are (presumably) mourning their mother, just as you did your dad. This is just my opinion, of course.
If it turned out to be my 'rightful entitlement' I don't see why I shouldn't expect to receive it. And I am not insensitive enough to demand things or ask delicate questions at this moment in time. I have suffered enough bereavements to know how distressing a time this is.
If you find a will for your step-mum, in which you are named, that's a different matter: I'd approach the executors and remind them of my existence and make sure they had my address.
I would have to approach the step-siblings to find that out, and as you can imagine, it is difficult knowing when and how to do this without causing distress/offence. (One of the reasons why I never asked them about my Dad having a will, not wishing to upset my grieving step-mum).
But even if you are sure your Dad would have wanted something different to happen, I'm honestly not sure it's a path I'd want to go down ... even if you're already 'out of touch' with your step-siblings!
I am sure that my Dad AND my step-mum would have wanted equal shares for all concerned. It's not that I'm 'out of touch' with my step-siblings, it's more that I was always more 'in touch' with my Dad and step-mum

Thank you for your comments

onlyroz

secondone wrote: »

I agree with jinx. The legal system can be complex, especially to older people.

The intestacy laws are not that complex and I would have thought that most people would be aware of the basics. In a nutshell the money first goes to your spouse, and if there is no spouse it goes to your biological children.

I'm sorry that this isn't the answer you want to hear, but if your father had really wanted you to have an inheritance then he would have written a will after he had remarried.

Mojisola

onlyroz wrote: »

The intestacy laws are not that complex and I would have thought that most people would be aware of the basics. In a nutshell the money first goes to your spouse, and if there is no spouse it goes to your biological children.

I'm sorry that this isn't the answer you want to hear, but if your father had really wanted you to have an inheritance then he would have written a will after he had remarried.

I see this argument put forward quite a lot and I just don't think it's true. Most people aren't aware of what happens if they die without a will. Many believe that the family will sort it out fairly between themselves, not realising that there are laws that have to be complied with. Many people believe that the children of both partners are "children of the family" and will all be treated equally. They don't realise that it's the blood connection that over-rides everything else.

Even worse, many still believe that their "common-law" wife or husband will inherit from them.

BitterAndTwisted

I had a certain amount of sympathy for the OP until "My one chance" was mentioned. Whether it was intended or not it makes the OP sound rather grasping. I suspect the only thing they are grasping at is straws.

FatVonD

secondone wrote: »

Is there any way of finding a will, apart from through probate searches and perhaps phoning local solicitors?

My mum was tracked down last year by a company that trace decendents of people that have died intestate (for a percentage.) I have no idea how they access the will to start off with or whether they would do the process in reverse if you gave them names/dates etc but they may have systems in place that would give them a better chance of tracking down a will than the average person would, you pay them a percentage (20/30%?) of whatever you inherit.

Mojisola

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

I had a certain amount of sympathy for the OP until "My one chance" was mentioned. Whether it was intended or not it makes the OP sound rather grasping.

Why should the children of the OP's stepmother benefit exclusively from money that belonged to the couple? As it stands, they will, unless the stepmother wrote a will leaving them part of the estate, but it doesn't seem fair.

FatVonD wrote: »

I have no idea how they access the will to start off with

If you want to check if there was a will, you can do it here - https://www.justice.gov.uk/guidance/courts-and-tribunals/courts/probate/standing-searches.htm

onlyroz

Mojisola wrote: »

Why should the children of the OP's stepmother benefit exclusively from money that belonged to the couple?

Because the father left everything to his wife.

maman

Just a couple of comments:

I think that most people are aware that it is a good idea to leave a will especially when the family situation is less than straightforward. I don't think people don't know they just don't get around to it. DH and I were in this situation (i.e. not straightforward and not done anything about it) but took advantage of the WillAid scheme to sort it out.

It is possible that there's much left in the estate of the OP's stepmother if she has been paying/contributing to the costs of the care home for some years. Or maybe her children have been paying?

Mojisola

onlyroz wrote: »

Because the father left everything to his wife.

Only by default in that he didn't make a will.

Rather than planning on disinheriting his own children, it's far more likely that either he thought he'd get time to sort things out and died before he did, or he expected his wife to "do the right thing".