ending relationship , who gets what ?

kronenbourg

not sure is this is the right section so accept my apologies if its not

i recently split up with my girlfriend and was wondering how i stand with getting stuff back that i bought for her/us during our relationship

i stupidly spent a fair amount on here including

a secondhand car ( although i only lent her the money )
nintendo wii
doublebed
clothes
jewellery

yes i know i was stupid was just wondering if i have any rights

McKneff

Apart from the loan of money for the car (whch you will need proof of) then absolutley nothing.

They presumably were given as gifts so non returnable Im afraid.

Its not stupid, its what people in relationships do, buy each other gifts isnt it.
Did she buy you anything during the relationship.

Good luck with the loan, how much was it for.

Outpost

I don't really think you should be considering taking presents that you bought her during your relationship. Disregarding for a moment how the relationship has ended up, during this period you were together as a couple and presumably bought each other gifts as any couple do. I don't think this sort of stuff should be on the table.

With regards to other items, the only way you're going to sort out who gets what is to sit down and discuss it. There is no hard-and-fast rule governing things like this.

kronenbourg

McKneff wrote: »

Apart from the loan of money for the car (whch you will need proof of) then absolutley nothing.

They presumably were given as gifts so non returnable Im afraid.

Its not stupid, its what people in relationships do, buy each other gifts isnt it.
Did she buy you anything during the relationship.

Good luck with the loan, how much was it for.

cheers for the reply , she never bought me anything , well aprt from christmas presents , broke up day before my birthday

the so-called loan was for £1000 but everything is in her name although she & her parents know i paid for it

just have to put it down to experience i guess

BitterAndTwisted

Depends on what, if anything, was in writing. If a person wanted to be really awkward and vindictive they could claim that anything in their possession was either theirs when the relationship started or was given to them as a gift. Clothes and jewellery would automatically fall into the category of a gift, surely?. To have a relationship end and think you can ask for your gifts back shows a certain, how shall we say, paucity of generosity. To put it mildly.

Perhaps instead of thinking about "rights" you could perhaps concentrate on what might be fair and reasonable for both of you. Are you contemplating things getting a bit tricky?

Person_one

Once you give a gift it becomes the property of the giver, that's what 'gift' means. If you want to retain rights over any future 'gifts' then buy them for yourself and then lend them to the other person.

As the money for the car was a loan, which is different to a gift, she should give that back, but if you didn't have anything in writing she can probably get away with not doing so.

Outpost

Person_one wrote: »

Once you give a gift it becomes the property of the giver, that's what 'gift' means.

Isn't the 'giver' the person giving the gift? Are you certain you've got this right?

Person_one

Outpost wrote: »

Isn't the 'giver' the person giving the gift? Are you certain you've got this right?

Oops! It is no longer the property of the giver, it belongs to the, er, giftee? Receiver?

You know what I mean!

PasturesNew

Just thank your lucky stars the gift you gave her wasn't a baby then....

At least you get to walk away and be able to forget her.

DUTR

kronenbourg wrote: »

cheers for the reply , she never bought me anything , well aprt from christmas presents , broke up day before my birthday

the so-called loan was for £1000 but everything is in her name although she & her parents know i paid for it

just have to put it down to experience i guess

Yep, put it down to experience, it could have been worse had you gotten her pregnant.

McKneff

You could always go back sometime when its dark and get the wheels:D