Urgent advice needed housing/relationship

daska

jennibaby wrote: »

My brother has always been in trouble with the police, stealing, drug dealing traffic offences, that is one of the reasons he used for not telling me sooner because he didnt want me taking the kids there.

The ideal solution for him which he has told me is he has the kids at home but when he goes to work he drops them at mum's, or until he goes back to work next thursday he wanted me to have them at night and him to have them in the day:mad:

There'll be some raised eyebrows that their father has even suggested that it's appropriate that they be sent to live with a known drug dealer!

Also, if they're living with him he'll be entitled to claim the Child Benefit and Tax Credits.

Sounds even nicer now you've told us more about him...

almond

omg men i feel so sorry but get on phone to health visitor first she might be able to get somebody to help cab etc you will wait for ages to get to see them.
DO NOT MOVE OUT as other posters say get mam or somebody round to help you have rights to the house being the mother of his children , i am so mad reading this
get on the phone to
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
I am sure somebody will be able to help

Darlyd

Awe you poor poor thing, what a bar stu ard he is! Is he suffering with pnd by any chance? What ever the reason for this, I think you have more right to stay there than he has. Take all the above advice on, ask mam to come round and support you, tell him to go stay with his mum whilst you find your own place. But find out if you can stay there permanently. And go from there.. hugs to you.. xx

jennibaby

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

So let me get this straight.

He thinks the solution to this is for him to take a 2 week old child away from its mother. His mum looks after the children during the day and you get the sleepless nights and to only look after the children when they are asleep. He therefore doesn't look after the children at all.

He basically wants to kick you out the house and give the kids to his mother.

Is his mother in agreement with this?

I would suggest the better option is for him to move into his mothers house. You to keep the kids in their own home and for him to have weekend visitation rights. This would be the least unsettling for the children and I am pretty sure no judge in their right mind would agree to his ideas. Have you spoken to his mother at all? She may put a stop to his mental plans - a 2 week old baby and a toddler is quite a commitment for his mum to take on.

NO not his mum, my mum where I will have too stay, he wants to drop them off with me in the day and then take them away at night, and when he is off work he wants it the other way round, i have them at night and him in the day.

Mojisola

Don't move out. You are the principal carer of the children and the house is their home.

daska

jennibaby wrote: »

NO not his mum, my mum where I will have too stay, he wants to drop them off with me in the day and then take them away at night, and when he is off work he wants it the other way round, i have them at night and him in the day.

He's in cloud cuckoo land hun, have you rung Shelter/Community Legal Advice yet? Do it now please, you'll feel better from just having started the process. If he raises the subject of when you're leaving just tell him that you don't feel the children are best off sharing a house with a drug dealer so it will take a little while to work out where you're going to live (which is not the same as telling him you are going to move).

haras_nosirrah

jennibaby wrote: »

NO not his mum, my mum where I will have too stay, he wants to drop them off with me in the day and then take them away at night, and when he is off work he wants it the other way round, i have them at night and him in the day.

I read that all wrong.

Either way though to have the children living in two different houses every day is insane. How confused will those poor little mites be? The children need a stable home that is their base. That should be the family home with their principle carer - i.e. you.

BitterAndTwisted

You've just had a C Section: you cannot go anywhere! And nor should you. It's not true that you've been making no contribution to the household, you've been raising a child and making plans for the arrival of another.

Do not move a muscle until you've had proper advice. I'd suggest to him that he moves out to his Mum's and very, very soon. He has a responsibility to provide a roof over his children's heads and that does not include your mother's roof.

What a prize !!!!!!! Maybe it's better that you know this now rather than a decade and yet another of his children down the line.

gratefulforhelp_2

hugs honey, you need a kick !!! solicitor but meanwhile do stay put.

there is light at the end of the tunnel - happened to me and i am so so glad now that it did. You will be too, in time. x

belfastgirl23

You are not in any position to be making any long term life decisions right now. I'm a little worried actually about the timing - it seems like your DH has waited till you're in a position where you are very vulnerable to drop this bomb on you. Between the hormones and the sleep deprivation you won't know whether you're coming or going. So you need to tell him very clearly that you are not doing anything for at least the next six months. If he wants to move out fair enough, that's his choice. But you aren't going anywhere.

It won't be fun, but I don't see what else you can do.

As the others say, you also need to consult a solicitor asap.

Good luck!

And as a PS having been horrible during pregnancy is no excuse for him treating you like this. OK maybe you weren't at your best but if it was that bad why didn't he do this then??