Urgent advice needed housing/relationship

jennibaby

So I gave birth 2 weeks ago and my fiance decided to tell me he didnt love me anymore on tuesday. Now we have been going backwards and forwards (well he has) and he has decided he doesnt want to be with me or try and work things out.

So its been 5 years, the house is in his name I have been bringing up babies for 3 years (we have a 2.5 year old too) so havn't contributed to the house financially. He wants me to move out a go and live with the kids at my mums, who has one spare bedroom and a convicted criminal for a son living there too.

I need to know what help I can get, if I have rights to stay in the house, that sort of thing? Can anyone help me out. We are both in the house now but walking on eggshells with each other and only talking when we need to. What the HELL do I do???:mad:

haras_nosirrah

i'm sorry but what an evil b@stard!!!!!!!!!!!

you need a solicitor now. Most will give half hour for free. As you are the mother of his two children you have rights.

Is there any reason you weren't put on the mortgage - bad credit? Did he own the house before he met you or did he buy it when you were together?

You must see a solicitor urgently. Don't go anywhere until you know what you can do.

Best of luck for you and your babies.

Plans_all_plans

That's outrageous! 2 weeks after giving birth: he picks his moments, doesn't he? I feel for you OP.

In terms of the house, I think you should ring Shelter and your local Council for advice.

Shelter: http://www.shelter.org.uk/

I certainly wouldn't be moving anywhere without some advice from a professional first though. It would be a good idea to speak to a solicitor too - although the house is in his name and you are not married, there may be a way to claim a stake in the house. You'll need proper advice befor planning your next move.

Good luck

fannyanna

Gosh that's awful. Just what you need having gone through the ordeal of pregnancy and child birth and now I'm sure lots of sleep deprivation with a newborn.

Someone else has asked some more information about the property - like did he have it before he met you etc.

Have you contacted the council yet? I'm not really sure how it all works but surely they should be able to provide you with some housing assistance.

jennibaby

I dont blame him for feeling like this, i just wish he had told me 6 months ago when he first started feeling like this. I was a complete b**ch when I was pregnant!!!

He decided he wanted a house when we first got together my credit was extremely poor and its was ultimately his decision. He wanted me to move in straight away so I did.

haras_nosirrah

what is worse is not that he doesn't want to be with you but that he wants you to move out with the children into one bedroom where he gets to keep the house. How big is the house? What is it worth and is it in negative equity? utter utter b@stard showing no concern for his children. Do not blame yourself for any of this. He is the one who is in the wrong.

If you were together when the house was purchased I think you will have more rights to it than if he had say owned it for 5 years when he met you and then you moved into it.

You may have been a b##ch when pregnant but you are no longer pregnant so presumably that is no longer an issue. You will not be able to work as you have two young (one very very young) children at home so the sperm doner (sorry if this offends but anyone who can do that to you and two babies is not a father) should either pay for you to stay in the house or pay for you all to live somewhere else and not in your mums spare room especially if there is a criminal in the house - that could be a social services problem waiting to happen.

Don't waste time on here OP - get on the phone and book a solicitors appointment. CAB is another avenue to try.

I am absolutely disgusted that anyone can treat their family like this.

daska

Stay put. If necessary do your shopping on-line or get family to help out so he can't change the locks on you. Contact Community Legal advice for first advice and to find out if you can get legal aid. Get a solicitor Law Society- Find A Solicitor

What was the conviction? Is is relevant? e.g. violence is but fraud probably not.

jennibaby

I was blissfully unaware anything was wrong and what makes it worse is I had a C section so can not drive or do anything really until my 6 week check at the beginning of June.

The house is probably only just in profit, it was a repossesion when he brought it and its not in top notch form now. I just feel so let down by it all. We havn't even registered the new baby and he is still officially on Paternity leave even if he did spend the night at his mums!!!!

jennibaby

daska wrote: »

What was the conviction? Is is relevant? e.g. violence is but fraud probably not.

My brother has always been in trouble with the police, stealing, drug dealing traffic offences, that is one of the reasons he used for not telling me sooner because he didnt want me taking the kids there.

The ideal solution for him which he has told me is he has the kids at home but when he goes to work he drops them at mum's, or until he goes back to work next thursday he wanted me to have them at night and him to have them in the day:mad:

haras_nosirrah

So let me get this straight.

He thinks the solution to this is for him to take a 2 week old child away from its mother. His mum looks after the children during the day and you get the sleepless nights and to only look after the children when they are asleep. He therefore doesn't look after the children at all.

He basically wants to kick you out the house and give the kids to his mother.

Is his mother in agreement with this?

I would suggest the better option is for him to move into his mothers house. You to keep the kids in their own home and for him to have weekend visitation rights. This would be the least unsettling for the children and I am pretty sure no judge in their right mind would agree to his ideas. Have you spoken to his mother at all? She may put a stop to his mental plans - a 2 week old baby and a toddler is quite a commitment for his mum to take on.

haras_nosirrah

jennibaby wrote: »

The ideal solution for him which he has told me is he has the kids at home but when he goes to work he drops them at mum's, or until he goes back to work next thursday he wanted me to have them at night and him to have them in the day:mad:

Precisely - this ideal solution for him. Not the ideal solution for the children and that is what matters here.