Sex Addiction

themull1

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

fannyanna

I think the most imprtant thing and the first thing I would have asked him is did he have protected sex. If not he needs to inform his partner straight away as STI's can have serious consequences if left untreated.

He at least owes his partner that much respect!

dmg24

ukjoel wrote: »

Its like any other addiction.

Highs and lows - highs usually just before or while chasing it.
Lows and guilt immediatly afterwards.

Cycles can vary per person and its like a roller coaster ride where he can be on a smooth path for a while then suddenly gets the urge or craving and whoosh.

Above could be a description of your friends sex addiction but could also be put to booze, drugs, cigs, and even food. Wife attends slimmingworld every week and its like a low cal seven step program.

Only thing your friend can do is find alternatives - if he was dieting he would have a wrap and not the burger, or the yogurt and not the ice cream. My guess is his life is dull and this is the spark that breaks the boredom. He needs to get his adrenalin kicks another way, whether it be sport, spicing up his relationship or bungee jumping.

May sound simplistic and its not that easy. He needs to revisit the him BEFORE he did this and look at whats changed and why this has started happening.

Whatever he does - it wont be easy. I wish him luck.

Well put - few would be so judgmental with someone with bulimia, yet the theory behind it is very similar.

The key is of course to seek medical help, both to confirm that it is an issue (as there are some who will use it as an excuse) and to get proper help.

PrincessPlaty

WifeofRonald wrote: »

Hi,
I dont know if anyone has ever encountered this problem before but my friend came to me last night and said that he had a 'sex addiction' ( I was under the view if you cant keep it in your pants then your just a hornny so and so) but he said that he was addicted to engaging in sexual acts with countless partners. He is in long term relationship with his partner of around 5 years but told me (to which I was shocked), that he has had affairs with around 30 other men. I never ever ever belived this of my friend ! , Even I feel betrayed by him so god knows how his partner would feel. My friend basically said that he sometimes is ok with his partner and doesnt cheat for months then he just has the urge and finds someone on the internet or etc , and he invites them over and cheats or goes to their place, He says he sometimes goes through weeks where he sleeps with upto 3 different men. I asked him why cant he stop it ? He said that he just cant its an urge he cant control, but he has told e that afterwards he feels immense guilt which has started to make him feel depressed. His partner doesnt know and supposadly its only me that knows. I cant believe it, his partner and him have such a good relationship (or so I thought ). One half of me wants to slap him the other is trying to understand. I am more thinking that maybe there is nothing 'wrong in the relationship' maybe he is medically addicted to sex ? and really loves his partner ?. Its all confusing !

Any help on the matter would be much appreciated as I dont even know where to start with advice

Your friend came to you for advice and help not judgement.

He needs to see his GP as first port of call.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/emotional_health/addictions/sex_addiction.shtml

Jei70

My question is this: if he really suffers from sex addiction, why doesn't he just have more sex with his partner? Is his partner not interested?

If there is any addiction there, it's to clandestine meetings, anonymous sex, and risk-taking.

Above all, it is very unfair to his partner and he should tell the truth, regardless if he wants to continue with his adventure or try and save his relationship.

dmg24

Jei70 wrote: »

My question is this: if he really suffers from sex addiction, why doesn't he just have more sex with his partner? Is his partner not interested?

If there is any addiction there, it's to clandestine meetings, anonymous sex, and risk-taking.

Above all, it is very unfair to his partner and he should tell the truth, regardless if he wants to continue with his adventure or try and save his relationship.

Hypersexuality is rarely to do with the physical act, it relates to the feelings and emotions around it. Think about someone with bipolar who has issues with excessive spending - if there was a logic to it, they would stockpile food or something that they actually need. However, it is more likely that they will spend on luxury goods - I once spend £300 in half an hour ... on clothes that didn't even fit me!

Trasijocha

He needs to read OUT OF THE SHADOWS - UNDERSTANDING SEXUAL ADDICTION by Patrick Carnes