Family member struggling, would you offer to help

andyrules

Hi
I agree with others here, they need to stop borrowing money for essentials when they've squandered it on luxuries.

You could try offering, maybe they'll be pleased that you care enough. How about suggesting they go to the CAB for free expert advice on budgeting, they will go through their finances, draw up a plan and perhaps suggest better ways to pay their debts anyway. Or they could go to a financial advisor, I think some are free as they hope you will buy a product (they might be able to switch to a better mortgage deal or something). In fact I believe MArtin has some ways to get sneaky free advice. :money:

Nicki

You could always buy them Martin's book as a Chrissie present - or if that is too near the knuckle, you could send it in the post to them, wrapped as a Christmas present, but "forget" to put on the gift label so they never know who sent it!

Jet

Offer to have a look through their finances and tell them you think you might be able to help them save some money.

But, be aware, like any bad habit - they have to WANT to break it themselves. At the end of the day, others can help, but they are the ones who have to change their mindsets. When it comes to "moneysaving" some people never "get it".

Don't lend them anymore money though.

claireandella

My friend was in a similar position and was scared that she would have to sell her house. She never seemed to have any money and couldn't understand it. I told her about Martin's MSE budget spreadsheet in terms of it being something which had really helped me. We sat down and worked through it together (by the time she got to this stage she was so desperate she would have shared her intimate finances with anyone!!) and discovered that she was paying far too much tax. Cue refund of almost £1500! On top of this she went for a job regrade (as seeing how little she earnt compared to her outgoings really brought her position home
) and now earns more and is much happier!

THE_LONE_RANGER_4

You Must Sit Down And Have A Go At Helping These People Once At Least, You Must Tell Them To Get Rid Of Theses Companies Like Provident It Will Be These People Who Are Bleeding Them Dry .get Them To Trust You And Help Them Out Try And Sort There Debts Out For Them Cab , Cccs, Get Them To Join A Credit Union And Save A Bit Each Month So They Dont Have To Use These Low Life Type Companies I Loath Them With A Passion , See Exactly How Much They Earn And What There OuT Goings Are Try And Arrange A Repayment Programme And Get Rid Of The Debts Etc Which They Must Have Tell Them They Will have More Money As Long As They Get There House In Order Once They Have Saved With A Credit Union For 6 Months It Will Become A Habit For Them A Bloody Good One .......all The Best

Mics_chick

lil_me wrote:

Ok this has been going on a few years, a family member with 2 children has always struggled. I get calls weekly asking to borrow money What sort of amounts does she ask for and do you always give to her when she asks? Does she ever pay you back? and I know they owe others. They will buy things then sell for a third of what they paid as they are skint :mad: which I had a little rant about today. Was this a rant to yourself/to her/to somebody else? They've sold things to me then few months later asked to buy it back! I'm not a pawn broker!I would make it clear to her that you buy something because you want it not just to help her out so not ask for anything back because your using it Seems to have it all worked out, all written down and I think oh they back on track then I get another call.

My question would you offer to help them go through their finances and see if can find out where they're going wrong ?

As a person would you find this too intrusive if someone offered ?

I agree with other posters - don't give her any more money or agree to buy anything from her - it doesn't help her, especially in the long term.

I wouldn't use being skint as an excuse unless it's true because if you then offer to help her with her finances by showing her yours first then she'll find out the truth...

Offer to help her but put it tactfully - if she accepts your offer then help her with a budget and then leave to get on with it - if she declines then at least you know you've offered. Others can only be helped if they want to be so don't feel guilty if she goes from bad to worse (even if she blames you) it's not your fault.

Good luck with it MC