Best place I can think of : grievance

Lil306

Sorry if wrong section, I can't find anywhere to put this topic.

Does anyone have any suggestions of how to cope with grievance.

I lost my dad to cancer 2 months after he told me, it's now almost 1 year and feelings are starting to emerge every time I think of him.

Problem is I was with him all the way until he died, and the only memories I can picture of him are painful ones.

I've thought about doing a photo album but not sure if this is the best way forward.

Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on how to help me?

DCFC79

Maybe relationships and family section is best i think

sorry i cant offer and help

RuthnJasper

Lil306 wrote: »

Sorry if wrong section, I can't find anywhere to put this topic.

Does anyone have any suggestions of how to cope with grievance.

I lost my dad to cancer 2 months after he told me, it's now almost 1 year and feelings are starting to emerge every time I think of him.

Problem is I was with him all the way until he died, and the only memories I can picture of him are painful ones.

I've thought about doing a photo album but not sure if this is the best way forward.

Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on how to help me?

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I wish I had words to make you feel better - but I know that there aren't any, really.

Do try CRUSE - a bereavement charity. Even having a browse through the pages of their website is a good place to start:
http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

And I know it's a bit of a cliche, but do try to take things just one day at a time, grief is a perfectly natural human emotion everyone deals with it in their own way.

Look after yourself - and good luck to you. xx

mountainofdebt

Have you thought about about grief counselling?

A friend of mine lost her sibling to cancer and together with her mum and other sibling had a hard time dealing with the death.

She and her sibling had grief counselling and have come to terms with the death but her mum (who poo pooed the idea) is still having a hard time.

Mods -can you move this to marriage and relationships as there may be people who have other ideas for the OP?

paddyrg

Is http://www.macmillan.org.uk/HowWeCanHelp/Bereavement/Bereavement.aspx any help? MacMillan know a thing or two about bereavement due to cancer, and their forums/local groups would be a great place to start seeking support from people far better qualified than the PVW board here. I am sorry for your loss, but grief is natural and has well-recognised stages, each of which must be passed through. Keep strong and you will come through, and those happy memories will reestablish.

CoolHotCold

A rich man asked a Zen master to write something down that could encourage the prosperity of his family for years to come. It would be something that the family could cherish for generations. On a large piece of paper, the master wrote, "Father dies, son dies, grandson dies."

The rich man became angry when he saw the master's work. "I asked you to write something down that could bring happiness and prosperity to my family. Why do you give me something depressing like this?"

"If your son should die before you," the master answered, "this would bring unbearable grief to your family. If your grandson should die before your son, this also would bring great sorrow. If your family, generation after generation, disappears in the order I have described, it will be the natural course of life. This is true happiness and prosperity."

bloomerang72

RuthnJasper wrote: »

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I wish I had words to make you feel better - but I know that there aren't any, really.

Do try CRUSE - a bereavement charity. Even having a browse through the pages of their website is a good place to start:
http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

And I know it's a bit of a cliche, but do try to take things just one day at a time, grief is a perfectly natural human emotion everyone deals with it in their own way.

Look after yourself - and good luck to you. xx

I think this is excellent advice! Cruse are particularly good. Also there is a website call mood juice (google it) and they have various self help packs including one on bereavement that I have recommended to people in the past and has been successful for them. Grief is an individual emotion, so allow yourself time and find good friends to support you through this. All the best and take care X

PZH

RuthnJasper wrote: »

Do try CRUSE - a bereavement charity. Even having a browse through the pages of their website is a good place to start:
http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

bloomerang72 wrote: »

I think this is excellent advice! Cruse are particularly good.

Another vote of confidence for CRUSE. I was very sceptical and took me a long time to speak to them - but I am so very very glad that I did. They were very understanding and so professional. I cannot praise them enough for the help they offered me in my time of need.

Lil306

Thank you all, I will try all suggestions.

Widelats

Hi i lost my entire family, the saying time is the greatest healer is correct, give it time, keep busy and things will look better, don't dwell on it too much everyone dies eventually.

Lil306

Widelats wrote: »

Hi i lost my entire family, the saying time is the greatest healer is correct, give it time, keep busy and things will look better, don't dwell on it too much everyone dies eventually.

Thanks

I have days of being really up and really low it's generally not bad when I keep myself busy

I find that comedy helps, always cheers me up

My condolences to your loss btw.