Feeling down and lonely

xangeleyes

I was the same as you, I moved up to Yorkshire 200 miles away from everyone I knew.

I had a situation though and wouldn't venture outside and it took me about 6 years to get myself sorted and get out. I have kids too though and that made it worse, I wouldn't go out, and even put my clothes out in the DARK so I wouldn't see anyone!

I got help (had depression) and now I've done everything I can to make sure I don't got back to that.
I am currently unemployed....well there is something in the air at the moment, but I'm not getting paid for it until the company has properly set up
I missed out on all the toddler groups, so I never made friends that way.

What I did:

Joined a gym! It was the first thing I did, and I didn't actually meet anyone, however I was going out! I was happy and enjoyed myself.
Got a part time job (you already work, would you consider part time in a bar or something? I only did 5 hours on a Sunday and met a few interesting people )

I then went to the local community centre and I asked if they needed any help and I was helping on Wednesdays for 2 hours with the Luncheon club, and could have a nice natter with people (I'm 27 years old, and it was nice to chat to people, no matter the age )

Because I have children, I joined the coffee morning at the local school, perhaps a friend of yours goes to one and you can join them?

I also found out about a get-together for Thursdays at the high school in a Community Area, where we sit and chat and do things like Jewellery making etc, we're all learning and willing Perhaps your council will know of anything like this?

You can help out at churches, whether you are religious or not, they are always looking for helpers, esspecially now because of the cuts.

Ask your friends about being a swimming buddy or something? Most mums are wanting to loose weight due to pregnancy etc. Some gyms/leisure centres have creches for little ones if they're children are not already in school.

Good Luck!

Where are you from?

ellay864

Dancing! I had never danced ever as a kid but at the age of 43 I started belly dancing classes and it's so much fun. I've also dabbled with bollywood too. It's all women (only a couple of guys at the bollywood) and it's good fun, social and good fitness wise too. Or a zumba class? Really popular at the moment and there's nothing like getting stupidly hot and sweaty to break down any barriers and get chatting to new people.
Plus it will save you from just being sat at the pc, and doing exercise is a general pick-me-up so you'll feel happier in yourself too

Plans_all_plans

Me again! Aqua-aerobics classes are a good place to meet people too, as are dance classes like Zumba. Check out local libraries/leisure centres for details of these sorts of things.

Another thing: don't be disheartened if it takes a good while before you feel the others in the group are receptive to you. Like I said it took me a year of perseverence and going to the same groups day in day out to get to know people. Keep persevering with different activities; keep talking to everyone and keep going, even if you feel you're getting nowhere! It can take a good long while before established groups are receptive to outsiders. Good luck with it, I'm sure you'll be fine!

xangeleyes

For the life of me, I can't find Salduck.
I've been trying to find things for you to go to.

Plans_all_plans

Haha, Salduck is the name of another poster, not a place!

PasturesNew

It all depends where you live. Most of the answers above wouldn't work where I am now. Most cities have some local groups.

e.g. Exeter used to have a "Single/Professionals" group that met at the pub once a week and organised the odd cinema visit, BBQ in somebody's garden or a meal out. In a few towns there is a thing called a Varsity Club, where people meet once a week at the pub and as a member you have to organise one event per year, which might be a pub night out, birthday drinks, meal out, picnic at a lake, cinema visit... whatever.

Edit: Oh, I see you said Manchester... so a proper/big city. I googled the Varsity thing, it's here http://www.ivc.org.uk/ - put in your postcode top right and they list your nearest. The Manchester one is at http://www.manchesterivc.org.uk/

On_My_Lonesome

Im from Yorkshire originally so not moved too far really. I will look at part time pub work at weekends I hadn't thought of part time work at all, I would be paying 40% tax but I suppose its worth it for the interaction rather than the money if can jyst do a few hours at the weekends. Will have to keep my eye open. I have looked at joining a few different groups at local community centre but they all seem to be daytime and work means I can't go during the day. Aqua-aerobics would be good fun will have to have a wander down to the local sports centre tomorrow and see what they have available.
ellay864, all taken onboard as well, think this is all just what I needed I was so focussed on something like college type course that I really couldn't think of anything else.
Thank you all, by looks of the suggestions I should hopefully be getting out and about more and also be fit as a fiddle with a combination of netball, dancing and aqua-aerobics.

xangeleyes

OK, are you on Facebook?

Join groups/pages like these: http://www.facebook.com/kirkleesactiveleisure?sk=app_4949752878#!/pages/Bolton-Council/102011083185130

Straight away, on that page (bolton council) you've got something on there saying:

Bolton Council is urging residents to get involved and ‘go green’ as part of Compost Awareness Week, from May 1 to May 7.

You can find out about things going on in the area and pop along You'll probably start to see a few familular (sp) faces too

http://www.facebook.com/kirkleesactiveleisure?sk=app_4949752878#!/pages/Central-Bolton/152400674774341

Do a search of your area name and go to pages and find things on there??

xangeleyes

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

Haha, Salduck is the name of another poster, not a place!

hahahahaha Oh deary me! Can you tell I'm tired haha :rotfl:

podperson

I find Gumtree really useful for details of local groups and classes. Also think about what kind of things you are interested - as others have mentioned dance or fitness classes could be good, a book or film group, art class, walking or hiking group etc. I moved to a new city just over a year ago and have had a similar problem. I did try a few things like meetup but found them a little awkward - when I was going to a specific group I would know that people at least had one interest in common