Question for parents living in flats!

jtr2803

How do you manage the noise made by your children? Do you allow them to play in communal hallways? I will give a little background..

My partner and I have lived in a 2 bed top floor flat for just over two years now. We have one neighbour on the same floor, two below and a further two on the ground floor. The family directly below us have a daughter who I believe to be around 8/9 years old, ever since we moved in she has some momentus temper tantrums, sometimes at 1/2am in the morning where she 'bangs' something against the wall (her bedroom seems to be below ours). It's woken me up more times then I care to count and I know that the ground floor residents are also woken up by it, when this happens you can also hear her absolutely screaming.

This morning I was woken up at 9.15am because her and a little boy from another flat were sitting right outside my front door playing/shouting at each other, our bedroom is the first room in our flat whereas our living room is at the other end of the hallway. A number of times one of us has had to go out and ask them to keep the noise down, we frequently have had balls thrown up the hallway against our door and my personal favouite was when she decided to leave marbles and little alphabetical fridge magnets all over the stairs which is a health and saftey hazard if not a complete nuisance. She has also drawn all up our stairway with a pencil and rides her bike round the car park constantly, almost being run over twice by us because she just rides around the corner without looking.

I rarely speak to the parents in all honesty because I am afraid I'll end up ranting about the noise but my partner oftens gets roped into doing things in their flat or being asked for advice on anything under the sun. This morning I opened my door and got stared at, when I pointed out the time she just said 'yeah' with a total attitude. The parents have NEVER apologised to any of the neighbours about the tantrums even though it happens once a week without fail and they must know we can all hear it. Both myself and the girl next door are doing professional studies and the noise makes it so hard to concentrate.

Anyway, I totally understand that children want to play and I also know it must be hard to occupy them in a flat but the parents just leave their flat door open and let her occupy herself (which normally means door constantly slamming, she is buzzing the flat which we can hear, or she is outside asking anyone who is walking around/pulls up no less than 20 questions about where they have been/what they are doing - v annoying). We also live less than one mile to a huge park........... does anyone find this unreasonable or am I just a miser?? When we were little we weren't allowed out in the garden before 10am and never after 7pm as not to disturb the neighbours (I'm only 29 so not taking a long time ago). It's getting me to the point where I want to either go down there and 'talk' to the parents or move and I don't want to move, we like our flat. :rotfl:

Help?!

Kimberley82

I think you should say something. Very polity as getting into an argument wont help anything.

Maybe start small, dont go in with a huge list but figure out what is annoying you the most and talk to them about that.

BitterAndTwisted

If you're of the mindset that you are going to "talk to" the parents rather than having a meaningful and co-operative discussion about the noise, I think you are automatically going to jeopardise any possibility of reaching a resolution.

It sounds like you and your OH have a fair bit of contact with this couple so I don't see why it should too difficult to broach the subject of the racket at night. Only a moron would believe that no-one else could hear it.

The night tantrums and the asking strangers 20 questions suggests that this child might have behavioural issues. If that's the case I doubt you'd want to add to the parents' burden by being unhelpful.

realised

I'm not a parent but I also live in a flat. There are no children in my building but the building opposite has families with children.

In that building, they were having huge problems with one of the families who were renting their apartment. Thier children were apprently always making excessive noise along with them playing loud music well into the night etc etc. Generally, annoying the rest of the neighbours.

We have a residents meeting every couple of months which is a forum for us to be able to discuss any problems etc.

I think the first thing they did was politely go and ask the parents of the family to quieten down. I think that worked for a little while before they began to become really noisy again.

In the end, after a long battle, the residents of that building had to resort to getting the landlord to evict them from the building. Not nice I know but I think they had tried everything. There are usually clauses in leases which say something about exessive noise etc.

I would look through your lease and try and ask the family politely first and if that doesn't work, go to your residents meeting (if you have one) and write a letter to your management company?

SkintGypsy

We lived in a flat from when our daughter was 1yr to 18months. We were always very conscious of the noise to our neighbours, and wouldn't have dreamt of letting her frolic about in the corridors with other children, had she been older. Clearly these people have no thought for others or common courtesy. I doubt bringing it up with them will change things tbh. The ignorant will always be ignorant.

jtr2803

Bitter and Twisted I think you are absolutely right, I *think* she may be ADD or similar, I almost put it in my opening post but didn't want to sound presumptous. If that is the case then I understand she will have different needs but I don't believe the parents have either had it dianosed or are addressing it in anyway (only my guess as obviously I don't know for sure). I have told my OH that he will have to go and talk to them as he gets on with them more than I do, they actually own their flat whereas we are renting.

Realised - I am not aware of a residents meeting but I think we are going to have to speak to the parents first and if that doesn't change anything I will approach the management agent, I just can't believe the drawing up the walls and that they have made no attempt to clean it up. I think they are being rather ignorant to it in all honesty.

On a seperate issue, we also have issues with the majority of residents (I hate to say it but they are all Housing Association tenants) on the other side of our block, they also allow the children to ride round on bikes which ended up with one riding into my Oh's brand new work van about 3 weeks ago. It seems no one round here is able to take any responsibility where children are concerned!

building_with_lego

jtr2803 wrote: »

...

This morning I was woken up at 9.15am because her and a little boy from another flat were sitting right outside my front door playing/shouting at each other, ...

...
When we were little we weren't allowed out in the garden before 10am and never after 7pm as not to disturb the neighbours (I'm only 29 so not taking a long time ago). It's getting me to the point where I want to either go down there and 'talk' to the parents or move and I don't want to move, we like our flat. :rotfl:

Help?!

I really feel for you both, it's awful having to put up with noisy neighbours.
We have a 7 and a 3 year old and are aware of the noise such small people can generate and try to limit the effect on our neighbours (terraced houses); however after 8- 8:30am we feel that the world is awake and don't worry so much. 9:15 is a pretty decent lie- in :rotfl:. Of course, if a neighbour worked night shifts or had a tiny baby (or other mitigating circumstances) we'd make more of an effort to keep them quiet for longer.

I'd make them aware that there's a problem; ask if there's anything they need help with, and see how it goes. Even explain to the girl if you think it may help. If after that you need to contact landlords/ residents' groups etc I wouldn't worry so much.

daska

The last family in the flat above us was a single mother with 6 kids who would be running around until 10.30 or later nearly every night, chucking things out of the windows, shouting to their friends, running up and down the metal fire escape etc - so I know all about noise! We ended up moving rooms around in an attempt to stop DS2 being woken up by them, if you really don't want to move then that's probably your only option. I suspect that realistically, if you're renting and they own their flat, there's very little you can do.

themull1

I thought 9.15 was a decent lie in as well. If you live in a flat with a door onto a communal corridor, there's not a lot you can do about the noise through the day. But the noise from the flat below at night, i would just go and have a friendly word with the parents about their daughter, it may be that she suffers from night terrors rather than a tantrum.

onlyroz

I wish I got to lie in until 9:15 at the weekends.

My main concern would be with the noise during the night-time - but I'm not sure what you can do beyond a quiet word with the parents.

jtr2803

themull1 wrote: »

I thought 9.15 was a decent lie in as well. If you live in a flat with a door onto a communal corridor, there's not a lot you can do about the noise through the day. But the noise from the flat below at night, i would just go and have a friendly word with the parents about their daughter, it may be that she suffers from night terrors rather than a tantrum.

Thank you all for your comments, I appreciate the replies!

It wasn't clear in my other posts but the landing outside our front door isn't a hallway, it only provides access to our flat and the lady next door, it isn't a hallway that leads anywhere else in the building (just to try and make it clearer - the front door leads to six flats, two on each floor, as we are at the top so the stairway that comes here and the landing outside is just for the two flats, I hope that makes sense?). She never seems to sit outside her own front door!

Also, trust me, they are NOT night terrors, I can hear her screaming 'No' and I can hear her mum shouting at her, it generally seems to be because she wont go to/stay in bed which is then why she purposely bangs against the wall.

I do appreciate to some that 9.15am is a lie in and I know it might be selfish but to me, sorry, on a Sunday it isn't. I work long hours all week, something that her dad has commented on (nice to know he pays attention to when I leave and get home!) and I study in my own time so I prefer to make my own choice about what time I decide to get up at the weekend. I know that may sound horrific but I'm just being honest . The chances are, that if she had been outside her own door/in her room/outside, I wouldn't have heard her this morning but they were literally sitting on my door step!