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Can you help me see how this is fair
Comments
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AnxiousMum wrote: »
Sorry - but the moment a couple decide to have a child together, the financial responsibility is there for BOTH OF THEM for a long time. So what who ended the relationship - are you saying a child should pay for the error of a parent, or, in reality - both parents, as very few partners are absolutely blameless in any breakup.
Nope
What Im saying is that the assessments are done with no regard to the actual cost of bringing up a child. Therefore situations arise where the bloke is paying for more than his fair share of bringing a child up. In such situations he is paying for the ex NOT his kid. She lost the right to that extra standard of living in the scenario that I described.Salt0 -
I've never had any dealings with CSA or maintenance so I know absolutely nothing about it but I am shocked to read that maintenance isn't taken into account when the PWC claims benefits. I would have thought maintenance received would be classed as income?
Does that mean a parent could get income support and tax credits and then could receive another £100 a week on top of that in maintenance? Is maintenance also disregarded when claiming housing or council tax benefit?
I absolutely believe that a NRP should pay for their children but I don't think a PWC should get money for their children twice, from both the NRP and the state.Dum Spiro Spero0 -
AnxiousMum wrote: »LOL - dressing as Batman and climbing up Big Ben doesn't exactly scream 'I'm a sane person' to me - but hey ho.
Custody and access are two more issues that in this country are sooooooooooo archaeic! Most other civilised countries prefer to award joint custody to both parents, and they do enforce access. In some countries, if one parent doesn't abide by the access arrangements, then kidnapping charges can be brought against that parent.
No, to me it scream I am desparate to have some fatherly rights but am being shafted by the system.
There are no women being forced to do it, are there?
We can keep up the pretence all day but the irrefutable facts are that some blokes are paying for more than their fair share of the cost of bringing a child up because no one is @rsed about shafting them.Salt0 -
Melly - you've been quite up front about the fact that you think that a pwc should willingly pay the increased share of their income - yet you don't seem to feel the same about the nrp? I don't know your personal situation - I would think that you are obviously a nrp or a nrpp where there is child support being demanded and there are no visits with the child.
If a father really wants parental rights and regular contact - I'd be interested to see how many of these fathers have actually applied to the courts for custody - as in reality, a good fight for that should be that a relationship between the child and both parents is very important, and if one parent is denying it - then is that not as bad as neglecting other emotional needs of the child? If that is believed, then go for, and fight for, custody of the child.
A friend of mine has done just that - took about a year which was unfortunate, but he even got custody of his ex's oldest daughter who is not his biological daughter, yet he was teh 'daddy' since she was six months old. he got custody also of their two sons - and was delighted with the outcome. Children all have regular contact with both parents, and as the mum is on some kind of benefit and a student - the only child support in question is a fiver a week which I don't think she's ever paid. But, the priority is that the kids are in as stable a situation that they can be - and in particular, are emotionally and financially cared for.
The 'fair share' of bringing up a child is based on salaries - because we all provide for our children according to our salaries, and yes, this might increase - deal with it, or don't have kids - simplesDogs are given more security by teh RSPCA if their needs are neglected.
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I've never had any dealings with CSA or maintenance so I know absolutely nothing about it but I am shocked to read that maintenance isn't taken into account when the PWC claims benefits. I would have thought maintenance received would be classed as income?
Does that mean a parent could get income support and tax credits and then could receive another £100 a week on top of that in maintenance? Is maintenance also disregarded when claiming housing or council tax benefit?
I absolutely believe that a NRP should pay for their children but I don't think a PWC should get money for their children twice, from both the NRP and the state.
yes you are right - that is the way that it is now. Until recently, it used to be taken into account, so there were 'cash deals' being done by private arrangement - ie, nrp paying less amount than CSA would assess at, and pwc not claiming it as income - both figured they had a good deal. (Not everybody before anybody jumps down my throat.....but lots!) Once this was changed, there was a barage of posts from nrp's on here upset as their ex had now gone via CSA for the higher amount, knowing it would not affect their benefits. So, yes - they are being paid twice now - once by the nrp (hopefully) and then by the state in the form of means tested benefits (ctc, wtc, housing benefit, council tax benefit) to bring their income up to a level to provide for themselves and their children.0 -
I've never had any dealings with CSA or maintenance so I know absolutely nothing about it but I am shocked to read that maintenance isn't taken into account when the PWC claims benefits. I would have thought maintenance received would be classed as income?
Does that mean a parent could get income support and tax credits and then could receive another £100 a week on top of that in maintenance? Is maintenance also disregarded when claiming housing or council tax benefit?
I absolutely believe that a NRP should pay for their children but I don't think a PWC should get money for their children twice, from both the NRP and the state.
No maintenance isn't taken into account and it is a joke! My brother has a son with a women (she finished the relationship - decided she wasn't ready to settle down!) and she doesn't work and claims all the benefits going. My brother also pays her £400.00 a month and has their son 3 nights a week and all weekend.
Then I see my sister, working for min wage, gets no help and I think what a joke! My brother's ex is the same age as my younger sister, doesn't have to work, has her rent and CT paid and drives an 11 reg car. My sister can't hardly afford the bus, never mind a car!:heart2: Newborn Thread Member :heart2:
'Children reinvent the world for you.' - Susan Sarandan0 -
Nope
What Im saying is that the assessments are done with no regard to the actual cost of bringing up a child. Therefore situations arise where the bloke is paying for more than his fair share of bringing a child up. In such situations he is paying for the ex NOT his kid. She lost the right to that extra standard of living in the scenario that I described.
Think you're getting yourself a little confused and worked up here Melly - go have a nap you might feel better in the morning
You refuse to actually read what is being posted - and you are obviously bitter for whatever yoru personal situation is.
I sleep very well knowing that I work hard to provide for my chidlren, and I also worked hard to ensure enforcement of arrears so that my ex also provides his share for our children.0 -
AnxiousMum wrote: »Melly - you've been quite up front about the fact that you think that a pwc should willingly pay the increased share of their income - yet you don't seem to feel the same about the nrp? I don't know your personal situation - I would think that you are obviously a nrp or a nrpp where there is child support being demanded and there are no visits with the child.
You would guess wrong then. Im neither. Im a married bloke with kids and things are fine. I just resent hearing about situations where by default the guy gets the shaft because I know that one day that could be me. I could literally do nothing wrong but then be forced out of my home, creamed for cash and have little or no say in when I can see my kids or how and where they are brought up. All for the crime of being a man.AnxiousMum wrote: »If a father really wants parental rights and regular contact - I'd be interested to see how many of these fathers have actually applied to the courts for custody - as in reality, a good fight for that should be that a relationship between the child and both parents is very important, and if one parent is denying it - then is that not as bad as neglecting other emotional needs of the child? If that is believed, then go for, and fight for, custody of the child..
ah right.
So basically the woman by default should get the kids and the guy has to haul his @rse through every court in the land to obtain any rights at all (apart from paying of course...thats expected straight away).Salt0 -
AnxiousMum wrote: »Think you're getting yourself a little confused and worked up here Melly - go have a nap you might feel better in the morning
You refuse to actually read what is being posted - and you are obviously bitter for whatever yoru personal situation is.
.
Im not worked up, Im just posting my views. Just because I dont hold back doesnt mean Im sitting here foaming at the mouth with rage. Im perfectly calm, I just dont agree with you :rotfl:
and as per my post above, Im not bitter. Not got owt to be bitter about.Salt0
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