'Wedding etiquette...' blog discussion

JimmyTheWig

villanova wrote: »

another couplre priced up items on their honeymoon, so contributors 'bought' their hire car, a day of snorkelling etc, (all organised by the groom's mother) which enabled them to afford a break in Hawaii.

What would they have done if they didn't get enough takers? Presumably they'd already booked Hawaii before getting the donations?

alexlyne

We had no mention of our gift list in the invitation, but we did include with the invitation a mini-booklet with useful info: maps/local hotels/things to do in the area etc. At the very bottom of this, in smaller writing, we put the gift list number on, stating it really wasn't obligatory. - We were in the same boat as everyone else getting married, knowing that general culture is to buy a present for the happy couple, so didn't feel overly rude to put it in. Any money we received was mostly vouchers, which we already knew what we would buy so were able to thank people with what they had contributed towards.

bristol_pilot

I find it rude and I am always offended to receive a wedding invitation with the wedding list in the same envelope. Even worse - to be told which gift I am buying! I have sometimes declined to attend the wedding when this has happened.

The correct form of behaviour is for the guest to reply to the invitation and, if they wish to send a gift, to enquire whether there is a list. It will then be sent to them. And preferably sent by the bride's parents or the best man - not the couple themselves.

I have never actually been asked to send money, but this is **extremely rude** and I would probably not even bother replying to the invitation. Probably wouldn't speak to them again either.

Individual00

Me and my fiance are considering a honeymoon gift list for our wedding in 2013. My father-in-law to be has very kindly offered to give us a substantial sum of money towards our honeymoon, so we will be able to afford a fortnight multi-centre trip to Italy + spending money. The wish list will not include essentials, i.e. we would not ask anyone to cover the cost of flights or accommodation. What it will include however is specific things at different price ranges for all guests such as day trips, museum entry and an ice cream. This means that rather than just giving us money, our guests will know they are buying something specific.

I do believe it is rude to put a gift list in a wedding invite, it took a while for my fiance to convince me on having one at all, so we will only provide details of this to those that ask.