Am i just being a jealous sibling?

jayne.doe

It sounds like you feel that your brother is being favoured over yourself. They have helped you out in that they have paid your debts for you so they obviously care. It is really difficult as a parent to always be right and we do make the wrong decisions we arent prefect. I would have a word with your parents and tell them how you feel .You dont have to get angry but explain your feelings. If you dont this situation could end up becoming a grudge and ultimately a wedge between you all, and that would be sad. It sounds like your parents see you as more self reliant than your brother. You need help too and sometimes children have to remind parents they are having a difficult time. I feel so sorry for you.

cantcope

Thanks for the replies.. We are both adults. I am 31 and my brother is 30. Ideally I wouldn't move home as i have lived alone since i was 25. But i am desperate to pay my parents back so it seemed the ideal solution. I can move on with my life and they have all their savings back quicker.

They definitely see me as self reliant which is why it was such a shock to them when i said i needed help last year. i had put it off a year as my brother was "playing up". it's the first time i've ever gone to them for help as they were always having to help my brother out.

i dont for one second believe this girl is sane. My mum has warned her he's a money grabber in conversations they have had but she see's him as the love of her life??!!!!

I've thought about telling my parents how i feel but i dont want them to feel like they are in a catch 22 situation. I just wanted some views really as i feel so bad for feeling like they should tell my brother to get lost so that i can move in. I know they love me.

I'm trying so hard not to feel like the lost sheep or the second favourite but at the moment i just cant help it.

Spendless

cantcope wrote:

There is no room for me to move in as he is in my old bedroom and his old room is full with a computer, tumble dryer, all their clothes etc.

even though he hasnt seen her for 2 years either!

I agree with elona, he's going to move in with someone he hasn't seen for 2 years , doesn't sound likely to me. Presumably all 4 of you lived there once? Why not speak to your parents about sorting out brothers old bedroom, so you can also move back in, just for a year to clear your debts. Or alternatively look for cheaper rented accommodation, flat/house sharing maybe, and talk to your parents about it taking you a bit longer to repay them the money you owe.

Tustastic

I can quite understand why you're feeling hard done by, cc. There must be a way to sort out the accommodation - no way can it be better to have 'stuff' in a bedroom rather than a close relative. You mentioned that other stuff is being stored in a garage but I am not sure this would be a good place to store the clothes. Why not get quotes on commercial storage, just to find out more?
Great and very honest advice from the parents posting about spelling out nicely to your parents just what the situation is. And something I learnt from being the functional child (alongside a resolutely non-functional sibling) is that you have to respect your parents' love for all their children, including spending money and effort on them when everybody else has given up. It's a mum-and-dad thing.:)

Mics_chick

Like other posters have said could you trying renting a room from somebody? Have you got any friends with a spare room that you could persuade to let you stay. It would cost more than staying with your parents but less than your own flat so it might take longer than a year to pay your parents back but definitely less than 3.

If your brother is such a bad 'house guest' would you really want to live in the same house anyway?

It sounds like your parents need to light a fire under his a**e anyway and get him out of their hair. Still at home with no job at 30 - I'm not sure he'll ever leave voluntarily unless they give him a good hard shove!!

Good luck MC