Back filling the big hole I dug with my credit card

AllThatStuffIsJustStuff

Hi Lily,

We're back home safe now. Posted twenty-odd packages at the PO this morning. We we're like that with eBay at first - wondering what we might sell next, but now it's just go, go, go! Every time we think we are running low we find more stuff. I know we have accumulated a fair bit, but I don't think our house is particularly more full of stuff than the average house. You'd be amazed at what people will buy - and what you have that you don't need. Plus, if you go down the same road as us, you'll get more and more ruthless with yourself.

The ultimate example for us was our video games, DVDs and CDs - it really shows how much we've changed. At some point in the last year or two in our spending days we decided that we needed to get our CDs and DVDs in order and bought an enormous wooden bookcase to keep them in. I don't recall exactly but I think it cost the best part of £200. In December last year we sold a couple of box sets we didn't use, then a few more in January. Then a couple of months ago we got rid of all the CDs on Music Magpie and some DVDs. I also sold some games. Since then we've been back over them several times and every time I picked up a DVD thinking "Why did I keep that last time?" until last week we reached the finale point. They are all going. Every last DVD and game has been or will be sold. And as a result we have the added bonus of selling the DVD player, the games consoles and not replacing the telly. We can watch a programme or two on the laptop in the evening and that will be our lot (oh, and my two sporting vices - MOTD and the F1). I also found a load of my old games at my folks house that I've never even taken away in the five and a half years since I last lived there. So we've brought them home and hope they'll raise another £50 or so. Just need a free listing weekend for the bigger items.

Anyway, a couple of jobs to do now before I get listing again - plenty more junk around the house to go yet

PiggyBankShaker

Hi all,

I've wanted to update since Friday (I find it a very therapeutic process) but I haven't had a chance. Firstly,

Aesop - As always, thanks for reading the diary and sharing your thoughts abd feelings. Please don't share more than you are comfortable with or able to, but know that we are hear to listen and support as much as we can. Just Private Message me if you wish.

Chevalier - Yes, the curtain fleece is a great idea isn't it? ATS and I are certainly going to give it a go this year. And... WHAT is it with men and PND? I believe it is a contributing (by no means entirely) factor to our current indebtedness, as I was simply too ill to work at one point. Hope you are better these days?

lilykins - As ATS says, I never thought of us as being particularly materialistic before - our peers and family members certain have more possessions than us (DVD's, TV's, Games etc) and at the start of our DFW mission I looked around our house and found it hard to see things to sell. But that's because I was looking at things with the question 'Do I want that?' in my mind, not 'do I need that?' and most of the when asking 'Do I need that?' I find the answer is no. Nowadays especially, I ask myself 'Do I want that more than I want a stove' - and the answer is always - Hell No!
I don't mean to sound like I'm preaching, I'm honestly not, I don't thinki it's in my nature. But you have been kind enough to take an interest in our diary and our DFW mission and sometimes I find answering questions posed by others (Chevalier is good at this too) hope me to form ideas in mind that were previously just shadows or half-thoughts.

So, 4 days since my last post. I really wasn't able to complete the tender in time, even using a guaranteed next day deliver service it had to be finished at 5pm at the very, very latest and at 4 I had nothing more than the skeleton of one with none of the necessary detail. I was annoyed and frustrated, and as ATS has been kind enough to admit, really pi**ed off with him and me. But I went to work on Friday morning and had an hour to kill between meetings and I spent the time thinking about how to move the situation forward.

There's bit of a money-spinning venture that I'm realy keen to explore, that's has interested me for a while but that I wouldn't have had the impetus to do anything about at the moment without already having gone to the effort of setting up the company and investing in insurance. I need to think about it all a bit more, but the upshot is that I am going to try and bring this forward sooner rather than later.

As ATS mentionned we went to see his family on the weekend and stayed with his parents as we usually do. I like his brother and sisters and their respective partners, I also like his Dad, but my MiL and I do not see eye to eye on anything and it is always strained and awkward. We only had one particularly unpleasant incident this time (insisting that we should put DD in a nappy for bed despite being practically 100% potty trained now - we didn't and she stayed dry all night:rotfl:)

However, I always find the whole experience somewhat draining - no matter how well the actual visit itself goes. Whilst we were looking through some of ATS old stuff for ebay booty it began to dawn on me why. MiL has kept literally every single item, down to individual peices of paper, that have ever come into her children's lives until the moment they fully and finally left home. Nothing, not even if it is broken, has ever left the house if it once belonged to any of the children.
She periodically moves it from room to room and reorganises it, but she spends A LOT of time just amoungst it, allowing those things to stimulate memories, remembering when she got it for them, how they played with, when they last played with it and most importantly I think, all the time that has elapsed since they last showed any interest in it.
Now crucially all of those memories only involve her and her children (and poss FiL too) there are no memories with any of the now Sons and Daughters-in-Laws - there simply isn't the space for them.
So when she sees the S/DiL's she is all resentful, somehow thinking that her children's would still be enjoying the things that she provides for them if only their husband or wife wasn't there getting in the way.
I realise this sounds a bit of a reverse Oedipus Complex, and it may upset ATS to read that that's what I think of his mother's relationship with him, but I do.
All the time that you are there you can just feel how much she wants to be the only one engaged in the process of making new memories with her child and that you are simply getting in the way of her doing that. She wants to be with them, and frankly its freaky.

AllThatStuffIsJustStuff

Just a quick post to say two things to make you all realise that PBS isn't just being a b!atch:

1. I don't disagree with what PBS has said about my mum. She has issues...
2. It reallys isn't just PBS - no-one from outside of the family is able to get on with her. That's just what she's like.

PiggyBankShaker

It wasn't really relevant to the diary but I do feel better having got that my off my chest.

On more money related matters though, I did a bit of calculating earlier and we have £585 left to raise for the stove, £610 signified halfway, so we're doing well. If we aim to raise it all in August (thus 12 days early / bit of a buffer) we'd need to make just over £18 a day. Or, starting tomorrow and going to 12th Sept inclusive, just over £12 a day. Which considering we're already aiming to raise £11 a day is not too onerous.

On a slightly different topic, I haven't made a payment to the CC in over a week and it's making me all 'itchy'. ATS and I have agreed not to make anymore payments until the car has it's MOT next Wednesday. We both get paid on Friday and there is some money in our joint account too, but I am practicing being uber restrained and won't nag ATS for us to pay off £221, so the balance can start with a 2. No, I won't do that. I'll sweat it out until Wednesday. After all it's only 8 days of interest...

chevalier

Thanks for the praise (goes a bit pink). I think your description of your MIL was very eloquent. I have this problem a bit with my own mum. Admittedly she only sees us 1 a year but she stays for 12 weeks (we live abroad):eek::eek::eek::eek:. Each time she has said that she would go off and her own thing for some of the holiday and then when it has come down to it, she has stayed with us.

Last time she was here, by the time that she went home, I pretty much never wanted to see her again, as she had driven me nuts. I am trying to appreciate her more, as my dad passed away recently. But I can only foresee this making her MORE needy not less.

Good luck with the stove total. I am not sure I could be as minimalist as you. For a start i would have a major revolt on my hands from my kids if I got rid of the tv, AND the wii at the same time:rotfl:. But then I think mine are older than yours. If you are getting rid of the tele, does that mean that you no longer have to pay tv licence?
chev

PiggyBankShaker

Mini Milestone today - updated 'extra money made spreadsheet' and we have passed the half way point of the target £3250. This is about 3 weeks ahead of £11 a day schedule, so I am quite pleased. However, our selling has been very front loaded with good / higher value things and this is likely to dry up soon, thus making the second half of the target much harder to make.

I could include milage costs that I get for work, as these are above and beyond my wages for my two jobs. However, I think ATS would only be ok about including them after the CC debt was repaid as, of course, that remains our number priority at the moment. The other thing about that too is that it is not really in the spirit of the 'Everything Must Go' project which is tied to the 'Make extra £3250 Challenge' however, we will see, we might get desperate enough that it needs to be included to stand a chance of making target!

Project EMG does trundle on, ATS listed another 18 items yesterday with more in the pipeline for this evening too.

ATS has also told me that there is a snowball in hell's chance of paying more money off the CC debt before next Wednesday aka MOT of Doom Day. I actually dreamt about the MOT last night and that it cost us £1000 - not That I think for a minute it will. It cost £300ish last year, so I imagine / hope this year will be the same.

Right, back to work you lazy lump. Ta ra!

PiggyBankShaker

Ah, tis me again. I'm up and down like a flipping yo-yo. Had tears today and everything - think it must be the hormoans :rotfl: Nothing is actually wrong per se, but nothing is quite right either.

Time! That's the issue. I feel like I have none.

Last two nights I wanted to finish sewing chair cover for DD's room and I have just been too tired. Most annoying as both times it was my intended reward for the day's activities. So basically no reward for me.

I want to sort out DD's clothes as some stuff in her drawers is too small, but she keeps putting it on anyway. If we pull our finger out in time it could go with us to the car boot sell on Sunday (DO NOT RAIN - You have been warned)

I'm also trying to think about two business ideas at the same time; one a hobby one for pleasure and money making on the side and one an actual business, now currently with two separate projects under its heading.

Rowed with ATS about one of the projects last night (not rowed, that's the wrong word but just grumpy snapping back and forth) because we were both just too knackered to have a proper conversation.

Basically I'm impatient and I want to get moving on everything asap, and am frustrated when real life creeps into my plans.

On the money making front - did a P1neC0ne survey today so £3 should hit PayPal before the end of the week. Ebay is slow. Must list 1 million books on Amazon.

That's all for now.

PiggyBankShaker

Quick update before I get DD from school. Posted 5 eBay items, women in the PO was a grumpy mooface; 'Oh sorry you don't want me spending £19 at your PO do you?' Another PO on the bad custoner service black list. The only one that's decent arounf here is the main one in town, all the others are staffed by the rudest grumpiest most unhelpful people ever.

Transfered £23 into the Stove Fund today, there's another £148 owed that is in the processed of being transfered from PayPal etc Hopefully will get that tomorrow and then will be more or less up to date.

ATS is busy drilling holes in the garage floor for the pipes for the washing machine and tumble dryer. I love the sound of productivity. I'm tempted to drag him away from it in a bit to go and collect some wimberries, seeing as he enjoyed it the other day. I don't know if he'd thank me though.

It is PAY DAY tomorrow! Blessed day of moolah, how I have yearned for you. Still can't spend anything though, even towards debt on the CC, as I've been vetoed by ATS. MOT day of doom is 6 days away and looming. Still I get to jiggle money around a bit and feel like I'm making a difference.

Stuff is leaving the house. A huuge box of magazines went yesterday (someone paid £10!) and a small set of drawers went today.

PiggyBankShaker

I meant to write more, but had to leave to get DD from school. I was saying... Stuff IS leaving (not ATS :rotfl:) the house and it feels like we have a tiny bit more space. Of course everything is relative, we can't actually move in the living room for bags of parquet blocks. I'm really hoping that when we have got rid of things as part of Project EMG, that the house will be easier and quicker to keep clean and tidy - it should do, shouldn't it? It makes sense if you have less stuff you spend less time looking after it, tidying it etc

Did take ATS and the kids wimberry picking and it was nice, although we had to cut it a bit short as DD decided to have a poo and not tell us until it was too late... Joys of Parenthood. But the pie we made afterwards, although small, was lovely. And we'll certainly try and go back again in the nexy few day and be a bit better prepared.

Still no sewing done today but been busy in other ways I guess so I mustn't feel bad about it.

I'm to bed now as I'm knackered again and have another busy day tomorrow, and Saturday oh, and Sunday too...

pennywisepoundstupid

PBS/ATS just thought i'd let you know that its free listing again on ebay this weekend.

My DS did that a few weeks ago (poo) went on a walk, before we set off insisted he didn't need the toilet and refused to go and 20 mins into the walk had an accident, kids don't you just love them.