Are these normal English Christmas traditions?

wendym

Men and their mothers are a tricky combination. If he's still happy to spend Christmas with them, he probably thinks they're just a bit eccentric.

I would definitely tell him next summer, on a relaxed day, that of course you were perfectly happy to spend Christmas with his parents, but that you would really love to be in your own home next time.

npsmama

All 41 of your replies have been very interesting!

I never realised how bizarre my ILs really were. Just assumed it was cultural differences...

To address a few points:
- as we now have a baby I am refusing to travel twice across Europe in the space of a week and have delcared that from now on Christmas will be on year with my folks and the next year with the ILs. New Years will be whatever we fancy.
This caused a lot of protest...I loved my SIL's reaction 'But we don't travel over Christmas, so we won't see you.' Yes.....ummm.....so why is it that WE have had to travel to you and to Italy every year in a mad rush for the past 7 years??
Basically, if she is so desperate to see us, she can get off her butt and come to us.
PILs are also upset but they'll survive.
DH is happy but feeling guilty as we're being bullied by his family to go visit them. I'm being mean and sticking to my guns.

In the end, we invited them to us for New Years and reluctantly they are coming. I'm doing a fancy dress party...I'll admit partly bc I know it'll wind them up! :rotfl:

I'm sorely tempted to ignore The List at least for a few people...just for the sake of my sanity. Although they're not shy about complaining when things aren't as they asked so it might be more trouble than it's worth...

joeblack066

Hey girl, you putcha foot down and start your OWN traditions! If I had follwed my parents' traditions, then everyone would be rowing, the kids would be miserable, and wishing that the grown ups hadn't spoilt it! My 'traditions' that I have created for my kids (3 of whom are now grown up, but they still love!) are; A Giant advent calendar made out of last years' cards and wallpaper and paint, A yule log on Christmas eve, (home made), an advent candle, bought or made, an Ikea Gingerbread House (only £1.50 and so much fun to make and eat!), Santa's footprints on the carpet on Christmas Morning, walking in Derbyshire on Christmas morning, and as little telly as possible on the day. Heaven!!!!!!!!!!!!! Debs :xmassmile

Chrisca50

npsmama just say to them that now you have a baby of your own you have decided to start your OWN traditions for your little 'un!!! If they don't like it maybe keep up the easier ones and gradually phase them out each year. Same old saying comes to mind 'you can choose your friends but not your relatives' :rolleyes:

seroxat_chick

npsmama, I don't think you've said just how many years you've had to endure these 'traditions', but my advice would be to break the mould asap.
I used to absolutely love Christmas - the first one I shared with hubby, I was sick on Christmas Eve as I was so excited! However, I now dread Christmas thanks to my in-laws who manage to spectacularly !!!!-up everything big style. I won't bore you with details - suffice to say, I put my foot down very early on about spending the day how I wanted to. Nevertheless, their present buying is out of my control.
This Christmas is going to be different again as I'm in the middle of receiving chemo and we're going to be eating out for the first time on Christmas Day - something that I'm quite looking forward to.
We try and put a brave face on for our kids, but they are now at an age when they realise who is cocking things up and dread opening their pressies from the culprits.
At the end of the day, we have to tell ourselves that it's only a couple of days out of the year, but I must admit that it's a real shame to feel this way.

I really hope that you manage to have a lovely time this Christmas.

carly

These people sound deranged to me!!!!!!!

wendym

Hi seroxat_chick! I'll be thinking of you eating your Christmas lunch.

I was a gutless wimp regarding my in-laws, but I was just never going to be good enough, and wish I had been much more assertive. But then we would have many more memorable grim silences, so whatcha gonna do, huh?

margaretclare

wendym wrote:

There is something about bonkersness that Christmas somehow multiplies by 10.

Multiplies by a factor of 10, in fact (which is a lot more)!

I've requested all and sundry NOT to send us Christmas cards this year because we're going to be away from 22nd to 28th and there's no point. I've said 'give to charity instead, plant a tree, anything'. Most people have responded positively. It has been my tradition to put the cards on display, on the mantelpiece, bookshelves etc on Christmas Eve - in my childhood that was when we put up the tree, decorations, cards etc. Last year I was just out of hospital, couldn't do anything and the cards just stayed in a pile gathering dust until they went for recycling in the New Year. Every year I seem to do less and less - this year is the first time we've gone away over Christmas but if it's a success we may well do the same every year.

I'm much more focused on the celebration of our 5th wedding anniversary on 14th January which includes attending stepdaughter's 40th birthday on the 13th to which she's invited my daughter from Yorkshire, a family lunch party on Sunday 14th where they live in Leicestershire, and then a thanksgiving in our church here in Essex the following Sunday, the 21st. And I'm sad because today would have been my other daughter's 43rd birthday - she died 4 years ago on the 30th December, which also happens to be my DH's 72nd birthday and my eldest granddaughter's 26th. All these dates....25th December is only one of many.

Margaret