Are these normal English Christmas traditions?

Justie

npsmama you poor poor soul

these are not normal Christmas traditions! And while all families have their Christmas idiosyncrasies this is bordering on lala land...

Is there an option NOT to spend Christmas with the inlaws?

flis21

I think every family has its' own wierd and silly traditions, although these ones do sound kind of extreme. At my parents' house, no matter who is there, you have to go on the boxing day walk, even if it is raining and blowing a gale, or you have flu (as I did one year) it is essential that you walk along the seafront for about 2 hours!! OH hates it and tries to get out of it every year, but he has not succeeded yet!!

I also find there are differences about what you eat. OH family have yorkshire puddings with their christmas dinner, which I find strange and they have cold mashed potato in the evening with their buffet!!

We also have a difference between times of opening presents. My family do it in the morning, after everyone is dressed and had breakfast, usually about 9-10am. OH family do it in the afternoon after Christmas lunch. My family do tend to sit there and watch everyone open every present, to oohhh over it, tho!! OH family you barely get to see what anyone has, as they rip off the paper at the same time and say thanks then put it to one side.

It is wierd, before I started spending some Christmas's with OH family I always thought everyone did Christmas the same, but there are loads of different traditions and everyone has their own ideas about what is right.

However the traditions should be adaptable, particularly when you are including new people into the festivities. (Like my OH always lets me open my presents from him in the morning, as he knows I just can't wait till after lunch and I would eat so quick I would have indigestion!!).

inkie

Not normal at all - if it was me I would do the complete opposite to their demands, just to wind them up!!

amosworks

These people are freaks! Divroce now! DIVORCE! Get out before they kill you (or you turn in to one of them)!

Bambam

npsmama wrote:

DH is English, I am not.

My ILs have LOTS of little idiosyncrasies about Christmas and woe betide anyone who strays from them.

1. They don't just have Christmas gifts but also Father Christmas gifts, Christmas tree gifts as well as stockings. But the best bit is...not everyone gets all these gifts. Some people do, some don't (still haven't figured out who quailifies for what). Also a Father Christmas gift has to be of a certain catgegory (chocolate, box of Kleenex (seriously), tat). Likewise Christmas Tree gifts and stockings are of certain types.

I get it wrong every year.


2. Christmas gifts are something you have specifically asked for on your Christmas list. No surprises are acceptable. They have to amount to the same cost for each person. So if you find something half-price you then have to give that person something extra up to the value of the agreed value (this seems to conflict with the no surprises rule to me). The other consequence of this is that as you are only told a few weeks in advance what you are to buy you can never get stuff in the sales.

3. There is ettiquette about wrapping paper.

4. If you can't find the aforementioned gift you have been instructed to buy, the receiver buys it, you pay them. They hand you the gift before Christmas and you have to wrap it up and place it under the tree. You must never on any account wrap your own gift.

5. Christmas cards are of utmost importance. They are analysed for brand, origin, signature, colour of ink...and displayed in certain areas of the home depending on the sender. A detailed list is kept and has been kept for many years of who sent what, when and what date it arrived. MIL and PIL refer back to previous years' lists to analyse them in light of this year's list. I caused a huge surprise when it transpired that I do not keep a list of who sends me one. (I do have a list of who to send one to).

6. spouses must never open each others presents infront of anyone else. So, for example, my gift to DH cannot go under the tree. I have to give it to him when we're alone. And no showing it to anyone.


7. when we travel to them for Christmas we are expected to bring all the Christmas cards we have received. The MIL goes through them, asking who sent what and when. She got very offended last year bc DH forgot to bring her card (ie the one she had written to us). I still don't understand what the big deal was.

There are more but these are a few.

Are these normal English traditions?
Are these people normal (believe me they have many other non-Christmas idiosyncrasies that run their lives and ours)?

Is this family for real? I'd say NOT. Start your own traditions - do the opposite of what they usually do. How the christmas elves can you enjoy Christmas knowing you have to spend it with the 'Fockers?'

Norma_Desmond

:eek: Just one comment to make on this insanity - RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN!

tifnstav

All that malarkey is just cuckoo!
This year I've moved out and know that I'll probably have to take my opened presents to my folks house so they can all have a gawp.

vizcacha

elona wrote:

They sound insane, controlling and downright rude!!!!!

It is completley out of order to DEMAND what a present should be and is completley against the spirit of the season which is spending time with people that you love and exchanging a little surprise that you hope that they will like.

I would be strongly tempted to start my own tradition of staying in my own home with my own husband and children for Christmas and getting them a flock of chickens for Oxfam or a goat so that someone who really is in need benefits.

I forgot to say that they are greedy and blackmailing too!

I AGREE - couldn't have put it better myself

Marsh_Samphire

oh.my.god. your in-laws are completely bonkers!

newleaf

They sound rather eccentric, most definitely not normal! I feel sorry that you are being bullied into all that strange rigmarole. I agree wholeheartedly with elona & wendym, stay at home and do it your own way.