in prison on remand would they be able to go to a grandparets funeral

mercedes125

I dont think the family really want him to go to the funeral but feel that they must let him know. His sister is the next of kin and she would be really nervous if he did attend because of the person he is she dosnt have anything to do with him. His grandma did not really forgive him but after about 1yr he started to go to his grandmas only but pestering her for one thing money she was frightened of him and the rest of the family are. After he threatened to kill his grandma she changed her will she didnt want to leave him anything but his sister asked her to for her sake as she is frightened of what he would do to her if he didnt get anything not that he deserves it. His sister heard a rumour that he said that when his grandma dies if he dosnt get the same inheritance as her he will get her shes really nervous now, but he wouldnt realise that if it wasnt for her he would not be getting anything. Sorry for going on i just feel for my friend.

escortg3

mercedes125 wrote: »

I dont think the family really want him to go to the funeral but feel that they must let him know. His sister is the next of kin and she would be really nervous if he did attend because of the person he is she dosnt have anything to do with him. His grandma did not really forgive him but after about 1yr he started to go to his grandmas only but pestering her for one thing money she was frightened of him and the rest of the family are. After he threatened to kill his grandma she changed her will she didnt want to leave him anything but his sister asked her to for her sake as she is frightened of what he would do to her if he didnt get anything not that he deserves it. His sister heard a rumour that he said that when his grandma dies if he dosnt get the same inheritance as her he will get her shes really nervous now, but he wouldnt realise that if it wasnt for her he would not be getting anything. Sorry for going on i just feel for my friend.

I would not even be telling him that grandma had passed. Due to his behavior towards her, it would be an insult to your gran if he attended.

You say his sister is next of kin. This means he is equally next of kin. I would be open and honest with him later about any inheritance due. Tell him while he is behind bars. If his sister feels threatened or he kicks off when told you have a case to get the law to keep him from you when he gets out.

mercedes125

escortg3 wrote: »

I would not even be telling him that grandma had passed. Due to his behavior towards her, it would be an insult to your gran if he attended.

I know thats how they feel but at the same time frightened what he might do to them when he comes out of prison for not telling him. He never went to visit her in hospital when she was ill either.

Errata

If he turns up, the undertakers can be given instructions not to admit him to the church/chapel/crematorium and the vicar/minister/crem manager should be advised in advance why this instruction has been given.

escortg3

Errata wrote: »

If he turns up, the undertakers can be given instructions not to admit him to the church/chapel/crematorium and the vicar/minister/crem manager should be advised in advance why this instruction has been given.

This is not true. If it is in church No-one can stop him attending. The church is a public place and anyone can attend the church at any time even if there is a funeral or wedding.

I went to a funeral a few years back and someone turned up (mistress) that was not welcome. The family refused her entry and she called the police. The police said she could not be stopped from attending. She stood at the back of the church.

Janepig

I think you need to contact the governor of the prison to make it clear that you don't think your relative should be released to attend the funeral. Although in all the circumstances it sounds unlikely that he would be, but you need to make sure you get your point across.

Jx

Pollycat

mercedes125 wrote: »

I dont think the family really want him to go to the funeral but feel that they must let him know. His sister is the next of kin and she would be really nervous if he did attend because of the person he is she dosnt have anything to do with him. His grandma did not really forgive him but after about 1yr he started to go to his grandmas only but pestering her for one thing money she was frightened of him and the rest of the family are. After he threatened to kill his grandma she changed her will she didnt want to leave him anything but his sister asked her to for her sake as she is frightened of what he would do to her if he didnt get anything not that he deserves it. His sister heard a rumour that he said that when his grandma dies if he dosnt get the same inheritance as her he will get her shes really nervous now, but he wouldnt realise that if it wasnt for her he would not be getting anything. Sorry for going on i just feel for my friend.

Mercedes
Other posters may disagree with me but from what you've said in previous posts on this thread, this person has, by his own appalling actions, thrown away any right at all to be told about his Grandmother's death - let alone be allowed by the authorities to attend her funeral.
If he's named in the will, he'll find out soon enough how much money he'll be getting.
From what you've told us, that's all he's probably interested in, anyway.

I would be encouraging your friend (as next of kin) not to tell him but if the family feel they must tell him, she needs to contact the prison governer and explain that his appearance would not be welcome.

Kay_Peel

It's a given that the prisoner has to have been close to his relative and grieving for their loss. This herbert wouldn't qualify.

mercedes125

Just to let you all know my friends brother is not allowed to her grandmothers funeral because it isnt his parent or child.She rang the prison to notify him of her death and they told her on the phone.

pigpen

I didn't think he would be.. shame though