Tattooed bride - family issues!

katerinasol

Hey all,

Just wondering what your thoughts are on how to deal with this.

I have several tattoos, including a large one on my back and one going from my forearm to my shoulder (not a sleeve though), and a few of the older relatives have been getting a bit funny about them. My own mum really dislikes tattoos and was quite upset when I told her I had my forearm tattooed, plus OH's mum and dad have been asking whether I'm going to be covering them up for the wedding, in a way that makes it obvious they're hoping I'll say yes!

I'm starting to get annoyed about this, because I don't want to cover them up for the wedding. Why would I pretend to be someone else on OH and mine's big day just to make someone else happy?

So, does anyone have any ideas about how I can diplomatically bring them round to my way of thinking? I know they won't actually make me cover them up but I'm tired of the constant hints that they should be, and it would be nice for them to feel more comfortable about the fact - I don't want to upset anyone. So far, I have Googled 'tattooed bride' and saved a few photos with the idea of showing my mum and OH's parents so that they can see that it's a far more common occurrence than they think, is there anything else I can do?

Thanks!

P.S. I'm waiting for at least one person to post with 'tattoos look horrible/will look horrible when you're older'

ali-t

What is your dress like? Could you get a shawl to put over your arms and that might pacify them but on the day don't wear it or only wear it for the ceremony and some of the photos so there are ones you like and ones that the family would want to put up in their houses.

One hand the tats are part of you so you shouldn't feel you have to hide part of you on your big day but I have seen some hideous sights where the tats ruin the look of the dress. Good luck whatever you choose to do.

katerinasol

ali-t wrote: »

What is your dress like? Could you get a shawl to put over your arms and that might pacify them but on the day don't wear it or only wear it for the ceremony and some of the photos so there are ones you like and ones that the family would want to put up in their houses.

One hand the tats are part of you so you shouldn't feel you have to hide part of you on your big day but I have seen some hideous sights where the tats ruin the look of the dress. Good luck whatever you choose to do.

It's sleeveless, with a sweetheart neckline, white and lacy. A bit like this:



I was thinking of getting a light shrug/shawl but not sure how it would look with a veil, might have to buy one on ebay and take it with me to the dress fitting.

ali-t

Your dress is lovely, you could get a cheap one to see what is it is like. The most important thing is whether you think the dress works with your tats.

crossleydd42

Tattoos really are a 'love 'em or loathe 'em thing. How I feel about them, per se, is irrelevant, but I can't look at them without my stomach turning over - it must be my subconscious thinking of the pain and oozing blood that's involved! For me, therefore, being a guest at your wedding, with tattoos exposed, would detract from the enjoyment.
So I do think you have to consider both sides of the coin and cater accordingly. A shoulder shawl would by useful, both for the service and the photos afterwards. If the photographer takes some photos with them exposed and some with them covered, at least folk will be free to choose accordingly.
I suppose I'm saying that, in modern parlance, it's not all about you and everything in life needs compromise.
Good luck on the day, anyway.

Queen_Of_The_Jungle

You obviously got them for a reason because you like them!
I personally cringe when I see a tattoo's on a bride when she is wearing a beautiful white dress. The tattoo's take away the "pureness" of the whole look for me, like a stain.
I can see both sides but understand why your family would feel this way.
If you are confident and proud of them though, don't let anyone boss you around, it is YOUR big day, not theirs.

dizzyblonde82

I have a tattoo at the base of my neck in the centre and only a couple of my relatives had seen it before the wedding, my nan was always looking at shrugs and shawls as my dress was strapless but my tattoo is part of who I am and there was no way I was going to worry about it on my wedding day!

Amymo

Take a look at the tattooed ladies and gents here, I don't have any yet but am all for them!http://www.rocknrollbride.com/page/3/

littlemissnau41

How about a lace bolero? I don't know how well it would go at covering them so to speak but it may be enough so they wouldn't that be that noticeable? I think your dress is absolutely beautiful and will look fabulous tattoos or not!

jtr2803

I really don't see why you should cover them up! You obviously like them!

I have a significant number of tattoos across the top of my back and my upper arms and they all represent people I love or significant times in my life. I would never feel the need to hide them on my wedding day, they are part of who i am regardless of whether other people like them or not!

I also don't agree that it ruins the bridal look, you will look stunning either way so do what makes YOU happy, its your day!

MissPixie

Don't hide who you are for anyone! I have had non stop of this because I have bright red hair and some significant scarring on my body and people expect you to change the way you are so you fit their ideal vision of a bride. Just think do you want to look back at your photos and be sad that you didn't show yourself for who you truly are?

There will always be people who don't like it and I have just said well I want to look like me on the day and left it at that and some people still moan but lots stopped when I got annoyed and said that anyone who dared complain about the wedding or the way I look wasn't allowed to come