Mentally ill husband being obstructive what would you do?

zzzLazyDaisy

The form requires his signature.

You cannot sign on his behalf, as you have no legal authority to do so.

If you do forge his signature, that would be fraud. If you are caught and prosecuted however sympathetic the court might be to your predicament, it is still a criminal offence and will be dealt with accordingly. It is just not worth it.

In any event - you say the mortgage is nearing its term - if you spend the endowment money, how will you repay the money owed to the lender?

You have a solicitor, please discuss this with him/her and don't do anything foolish. It really won't be worth it in the long run.

laurel7172

Do get legal advice-but be realistic.

Whilst the court might very well decide it's in his interests to release the endowment funds, they're unlikely to decide it's in his best interests to hand his legal share (moral share is unlikely to come into it) over to you-for your daughter's benefit or not.

I wonder whether it would be best to sort out the whose-is-what issue before the maturity issue, but really, only your solicitor can advise on that.

Good luck

9shell

I just want to say thank you to everyone for taking time to read and respond - Difficult as things are I will wait it out as reading through your response's has helped me realise that to stumble now will be to play straight into my ex's gleeful hand's who will be only too delighted to play victim and drag me through the court's .

Today my solicitor said the only way forward is to wait until the court hearing date on the 17th May where she will also raise the property division and told me to be prepared for the long haul.

I urged her to move things along as quickly as is humanly possible and I re-iterated the point that ex's action's are clearly an attempt to cause maximum disfunction in our lives. I hope she can build up an accurate character profile so based on that the Judge can make a fair decision.

9shell

Hello everyone, I just wondered if I can run this by you and would be very grateful for your views please.

Had appointment with solicitor today regarding the E form and while going through it we discussed my ex husband's zero input zero maintenance over the 25yr period. I have hard evidence about his compulsive gambling and documentation to back up all the contributions made by me and my family, in fact for 7 years my dad took responsibility of our mortgage out of concern for our welfare when we were threatened with repossession while my ex was not interested in the least about his children's livelihoods, now he has come sniffing around for a share of the property and as I said in my ealier posts that he is only on there in name has not put a paid anything. I asked her at which point will we bring all the facts to the attention of the Judge, I am concerned that she did not seem too interested and was almost dismissive about his bad behaviour. If his actions have been so detremental to our welfare that has had a knock on affect financially to all concerned surely am I right in thinking that the Judge want to consider these facts? My solicitor has not filled me with much faith and at the moment I am very concerned that he will unjustly gain more that he deserves.

hillcats

It certainly seems unfair, I agree. But I fear he remains entitled to his cut as you said "he is only on there in name" which is what actually counts. The mortgage company I'd imagine don't really care provided they get their money from either ONE of you, but they can hold you both liable for the debt.

zzzLazyDaisy

You need to speak to your solicitor. She has the facts and no-one else can advise you.

However you should be prepared for the fact that the parties' behaviour during the marriage is very rarely taken into account in dealing with the ancilliary relief proceedings (ie the financial affairs).

Also, regardless of who put what into the pot, financially, the starting point is normally 50/50 with adjustments from there to meet the needs of the individuals going forward, as far as is possible. So if one party has the primary care of children, they may get a larger share of the house. On the other hand, if one party is disabled and unable to earn enough to support themselves, that may also be a factor that is taken into account.

One other thing you should be aware of - every letter, telephone call, and e-mail to/from your solicitor is charged, so the more you are demanding of her time, the greater the cost to you (this is not a criticism, merely an observation). There is nothing your solicitor can do to hasten a hearing that has already been given a date, so as hard as it is, you will need to be patient until the hearing.

Thrugelmir

9shell wrote: »

I am concerned that she did not seem too interested and was almost dismissive about his bad behaviour.

The Judge would consider your ex's behaviour in the main due to his (documented) medical condition. The job of your solicitor is to present material fact to the court that will result in the most favourable outcome. The primary focus of the court will be for the welfare of the children.

9shell

For everyone who replied thank you I appreciate your views and I look forward to reading the posts.

Thrugelmir, are you saying that his medical condition will give him an advantage? If so this is what I am worried about He has made our lives extremely challanging and will blame years of iresponsible reckless behaviour on his illness because he knows he can. I need a Judge Judy to distinguish which part is truly due to illness and his other side which is purely bad character trait!

Thrugelmir

I would stress again that the Courts primary concern is that for the children. This will have the over riding influence on the Judges decision.

9shell

Feel close to giving up the fight, I'm clinically exhausted drained to distraction being pulled and pushed in all direction's. Daughter's eye pressure's concerningly high mean too many to mention hospital trips to Moorfields for monitoring. She is already on max dose medication but pressure's still not coming down to safe level. Thursday night she was experiencing blurry vision took her to Moorfields A&E two buses 10pm did'nt get back with her until 2pm in the morning missing the last bus home meant a 45min walk home from the last stop. Her arthritis meant it was a slow walk home could'nt afford cab fare . I would carry her barefooted on hot coal and not take chances as her eyes are a major concern at the moment. This is how it is and I am fighting with a hopeless selfish man who could not care a less whether his daughter is having to carry the weight of her body on aching limbs home at an ungodly hour of the morning because he is too selfish to contribute towards her welfare. I am being told he has rights, the law needs to get tougher on men like him, they know how to minipulate the system to its full advantage purely for their own gain. He gets all his benefits incapacity benefit and the trimmings and is straight to the betting shop to fritter it away cushty in the knowledge that another tidy little sum will follow in due course and I'm being told that "he can do what he like with HIS money" by government sauces, pun intended like the CSA. This is WRONG WRONG WRONG!