Feeling really put out(family issue)

anguk

Could you not just say to your parents that you would like to be there for the scattering of the ashes?

You're saying that they didn't invite you and your mother didn't offer for you to go down but maybe your mum thought that if you wanted to go you'd have said?

It sounds more like miscommunication rather than deliberately excluding you.

Ginger_Poodle

Hello Lucy1973,

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your Nan & for how sad you are feeling just now. Reading your post, it looks like you live a bit of a distance away from your parents? We have a similar situation (my in-laws, both my parents have died), and it sometimes feels a little "out of sight, out of mind" with them. Perhaps a similar situation to you? I am not makeing excuses for them, just a possible reason. Why not spend Mothers' Day with your other half (& offspring/dogs/whatever) remembering and celebrating your Nan in your own way. Then, when everyones' emotions are a little less raw, try speaking to your Dad about why you were not invited. There may be a perfectly reasonable explanation, or perhaps it will make him think a little more about your feelings.

Again, I am sorry that you are sad x

balletshoes

anguk wrote: »

Could you not just say to your parents that you would like to be there for the scattering of the ashes?

You're saying that they didn't invite you and your mother didn't offer for you to go down but maybe your mum thought that if you wanted to go you'd have said?

It sounds more like miscommunication rather than deliberately excluding you.

I agree with this, especially if you don't see each other very often because you live a distance away from each other. If you want to go to your Nan's ash-scattering, tell them, and make arrangements to go.

Clearly you'd like to go, wouldn't you. So I personally wouldn't automatically think I just wasn't invited or welcome, it could just be a miscommunication, or incorrect assumptions on both sides.

Janey3

If you would like to go to the ash scattering on Sunday, I would just phone your Mum and tell her that you will be along on Sunday to join them and don't mention how it has hurt you not being invited. Sometimes when you live a distance away and don't see family regularly, it often feels like we are getting left out of things. It will have been an emotional time for you all losing your Nan. We lost 3 family members last December and it bought the worst out of some members of the family and the best out of others!