Neighbour dispute - disclose at sale?

SuzieSue

Dontknow wrote: »

If it purely goes on building work & fencing issues then I'm a lot less stressed about going ahead & filing a formal complaint now...

Obviously, I don't know anything about your situation, but do you think it is wise to file a formal complaint. Won't it just inflame the situation and make your life even more miserable.

If, as you say, the couple are wierd, you don't know how they are going to react. To start shouting at someone because of a trivial argument between children does show that the husband is deranged and his wife is quite happy to lie for him.

If you don't mind me asking, why are you so keen on filing a formal complaint?

BitterAndTwisted

cjmumto2 wrote: »

I'M with Bob on the this one too. The next people may have no issues with them at all.

Just as long as the new occupants don't have any children who stare! Maybe where they come from you can go to jail for that.

It's always entertaining when what are supposed to be adults choose to get involved in childish spats. It makes you wonder who the grown-ups are in that household.....

harrup

Dontknow wrote: »

Good point, Bob. I suppose that's why the police said it doesn't have to be mentioned...just wish it was clear as a dispute can be on anything really!

Dontknow....I'ds be VERY cautious to solely take the word of the police person you spoke to on this issue. I'm not at all certain whether the varies laws pertaining to property sales are their area of expertise and fall under their remit.

As far as I'm aware you have to declare ANY dispute with a neighbour regardless of whether this is due to a personality conflict, a boundary issue, overhanging tree, noise issue, whatever. You may well be skating on thin, and potentially expensive, ice if you withhold this and your buyer experiences the same issues.

James_N

bobthedambuilder wrote: »

This looks to me like a disagreement between individuals and has nothing to do with the properties per se, so I wouldn't think it necessary to declare in any sale. If you were arguing about boundaries or light being blocked etc, that would be a different matter.

This is accurate and sensible advice.

Dontknow_2

SuzieSue wrote: »

Obviously, I don't know anything about your situation, but do you think it is wise to file a formal complaint. Won't it just inflame the situation and make your life even more miserable.

If, as you say, the couple are wierd, you don't know how they are going to react. To start shouting at someone because of a trivial argument between children does show that the husband is deranged and his wife is quite happy to lie for him.

If you don't mind me asking, why are you so keen on filing a formal complaint?

I feel I have given them soo much leeway already. I think the main reason I'd go for making a formal complaint is that 1. He said this to me twice now - he's a bully to us (we're much younger than they are).2. His wife came by to "sort this out" as she said & make things ok between us & will "speak to her husband & child", then she calls the police on ME! In my eyes, they've already started the "dispute" by getting the police involved so me making a complaint on him won't change anything. Plus it'll show that we're not ok with this & we're serious.

Dontknow_2

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

It's always entertaining when what are supposed to be adults choose to get involved in childish spats. It makes you wonder who the grown-ups are in that household.....

Completely agree - Bitter!

harrup wrote: »

Dontknow....I'ds be VERY cautious to solely take the word of the police person you spoke to on this issue. I'm not at all certain whether the varies laws pertaining to property sales are their area of expertise and fall under their remit.

As far as I'm aware you have to declare ANY dispute with a neighbour regardless of whether this is due to a personality conflict, a boundary issue, overhanging tree, noise issue, whatever. You may well be skating on thin, and potentially expensive, ice if you withhold this and your buyer experiences the same issues.

So essentially I'd already have to disclose this dispute..and the fact they called the police on me which amounted to nothing & there is no report of it? Hardly seems fair..

I really, really hate to have to call the police. I'm not that type of person & our neighbourhood is filled with "curtain twitchers"..(me included!) & this just doesn't happen here..but I do feel bullied by them, their kid is wierd & over the years has only gotten worse..my partner said "if they do one more thing, then we'll call the police" ...I'm just at a loss as to what to do!:o

dizzie

I fully sympathise with you. Our neighbours are dreadful and have in their history here, upset almost all of the locals. Their horses damaged our property - no dispute there IMO, since they didn't deny (dispute) it, just said they wouldn't pay for it.

Then the man took a stick to my 9 year-old son...again, no dispute there - he admitted it and was cautioned by the police (not that it really affected him because his job is not one that needs CRB checks).

So if we ever sell our house, as far as I'm concerned, there have been no disputes....and if asked what our neighbours are like, I'll tell them the truth ..that they tend to keep themselves to themselves....and vice versa (no lie - we go out of our way to avoid each other now!)

If I'm asked whether I actually LIKE my neighbours however...gotta admit, I'm going to have trouble with that one!:o

SuzieSue

Dontknow wrote: »

I feel I have given them soo much leeway already. I think the main reason I'd go for making a formal complaint is that 1. He said this to me twice now - he's a bully to us (we're much younger than they are).2. His wife came by to "sort this out" as she said & make things ok between us & will "speak to her husband & child", then she calls the police on ME! In my eyes, they've already started the "dispute" by getting the police involved so me making a complaint on him won't change anything. Plus it'll show that we're not ok with this & we're serious.

Ok, but you need to remember that people like that don't have the same reasoning as normal people. He is a bully and so is probably also bullying his wife and son (in my experience a lot of bullies bully the people closest to them).


My OH is the kindest, gentlest person I have ever met (as is his mother), but his father was a bully and the Neighbour from Hell. His poor mother only found out about what he had been doing to his neighbours after his father died a couple of years ago and the neighbours told her other son who now lives with her.

You are probably only going to be here for a year and so I could be wrong, but I don't see the point in making a formal complaint. From what you have told me, your neighbour is very much like my OH's father and if someone had made a complaint about him, he would have made their life hell.

Perhaps I am wrong and perhaps you are perfectly capable of looking after yourself, but there have been lots of stories in the press where people have made the lives of their neighbours hell and the neighbours have just had to leave because the authorities have not done anything about it. I don't know how long you have been in the UK, but I have lived here all my life and I personally wouldn't rely on the law to protect me from an anti-social neighbour.

I really think you need to stay out of this guy's way and explain to your children that it he boy next door stares, it's because he can't help it. The poor boy is probably being bullied by his father like my OH was.

Remember, you might well be able to make a formal complaint about this bully but he is likely to have unsavoury friends who could make your life hell. It might not happen, but is it worth the risk when you have young children?

Dontknow_2

dizzie wrote: »

I fully sympathise with you. Our neighbours are dreadful and have in their history here, upset almost all of the locals. Their horses damaged our property - no dispute there IMO, since they didn't deny (dispute) it, just said they wouldn't pay for it.

Then the man took a stick to my 9 year-old son...again, no dispute there - he admitted it and was cautioned by the police (not that it really affected him because his job is not one that needs CRB checks).

So if we ever sell our house, as far as I'm concerned, there have been no disputes....and if asked what our neighbours are like, I'll tell them the truth ..that they tend to keep themselves to themselves....and vice versa (no lie - we go out of our way to avoid each other now!)

If I'm asked whether I actually LIKE my neighbours however...gotta admit, I'm going to have trouble with that one!:o

Omg - he took a stick to your son!!?? That man should be locked up! Your experience sounds dreadful!

My neighbour is waay too lazy to do that (at least I hope..?). If I filed a complaint back in 2006 with his original comment, he'd now have a caution for this one. Like your neighbour, his job doesn't require any background checks at all..shame. Thankfully we're all now keeping to ourselves & since the weather has been rainy the kids have been inside so no chance of encounters. Long may the peace continue!

Dontknow_2

SuzieSue wrote: »

Ok, but you need to remember that people like that don't have the same reasoning as normal people. He is a bully and so is probably also bullying his wife and son (in my experience a lot of bullies bully the people closest to them).


My OH is the kindest, gentlest person I have ever met (as is his mother), but his father was a bully and the Neighbour from Hell. His poor mother only found out about what he had been doing to his neighbours after his father died a couple of years ago and the neighbours told her other son who now lives with her.

You are probably only going to be here for a year and so I could be wrong, but I don't see the point in making a formal complaint. From what you have told me, your neighbour is very much like my OH's father and if someone had made a complaint about him, he would have made their life hell.

Perhaps I am wrong and perhaps you are perfectly capable of looking after yourself, but there have been lots of stories in the press where people have made the lives of their neighbours hell and the neighbours have just had to leave because the authorities have not done anything about it. I don't know how long you have been in the UK, but I have lived here all my life and I personally wouldn't rely on the law to protect me from an anti-social neighbour.

I really think you need to stay out of this guy's way and explain to your children that it he boy next door stares, it's because he can't help it. The poor boy is probably being bullied by his father like my OH was.

Remember, you might well be able to make a formal complaint about this bully but he is likely to have unsavoury friends who could make your life hell. It might not happen, but is it worth the risk when you have young children?

Good points. When I originally called the police (to shed light on the situation..is he in the wrong, etc) that police officer said that yes, once you get us involved it only gets worse - not better. Great! So we're keeping this in mind.

Their family dynamics are that the dad is not the bully (believe it or not!) but the mom is. The son is an only child, conceived via ivf, we had the whole blow by blow when we moved here about it all, their debt because of it, etc. They offloaded loads on us & we just weren't interested...she's very "hard done by" in her mind & is the type to use a sledgehammer to crack a walnut - hence this situation. Their son can do no wrong in their mind so very spoilt.

I'm not worried about any unsavoury friends. Infact, they have no friends! I've been here over 12 years now & lived next to them for about 9 years..but yes I do worry about what all of this is doing to my children..they saw me crying when the CSO was here..not good.

I want to keep the peace while we live here - keep my children safe but also feel empowered & not like a prisoner in my home & I'm not sure how I can achieve this..