Terminal Illness? Aspergers experts, please help?

meritaten

anxious_mum wrote: »

He is very worried, it is driving me to distraction, I just want to help him. If it goes nowhere after his appointment I will definitely see the doctor and find out what his worries were. He is doing his GCSEs right now, maybe that has something to do with it. I dunno, he has gone so out of character. Maybe its because he's coming up to 16, but I've told him about stuff, plus he has an older brother......

So, he is worried about a lump on his head? having headaches? blurred vision?
I dont know your son and have no idea what character traits as an Aspie he has.
My Grandson has Aspergers and if you ask a direct question he either responds with the truth or shrugs if he doesnt want to tell you - the one thing he WONT do is lie! but all Aspies are different! and so are all teenagers!
It may be he has had some symptoms and looked them up on the computer and diagnosed himself! hopefully, the GP can reassure him, but the one thing I know about Aspies is that they will obsess over something and learn everything there is to know about it, if my GD is anything to go by.
I hope that after his appointment he will confide in you.
good luck and keep us posted!
best wishes
merit

anxious_mum

Thank you so much Merit, you have put my mind at rest. He will have been feeling his head, he will have found a bump that he can't explain, and he will think 'oh lord, i have a terminal disease, and because of this i cannot involve my mother because she will become far too emotional', and he will have researched it to the knats bum on the internet and know everything about it up to and including degree knowledge!

As he gets older and more independent, its nice to see how he copes with it. I still have the doctor's appointment on Thursday. I'll let you know how it goes, and I am so happy that there are people out there who are taking these steps with me. Thank you so much x x

Savvy_Sue

whitewing wrote: »

Maybe he has found a lump on his testicles?

I have had that conversation, while driving one of my sons.

Me (oh no, he's got cancer, what do I say?): "have you googled it?"

Him: "Yes."

Me: "and did it say that it probably wasn't serious, but if it was, the sooner you did something about it, the better the outcome would be?"

Him: "Yes."

Me: "So what shall we do about this? Do you want me to take you to the doctor, or your dad, or go on your own?"

Him: "I don't mind."

Me: "That's not actually very helpful ..."

In the end, I made DH take him (what are fathers for if not the rude bits?), and he had to go for an ultrasound too, and then the results took forever to come through, so I phoned to see if they were in and then the GP phoned back and insisted on speaking to him not me, which was fair enough. And it wasn't serious, and there's nothing to be done, because if they treat it then it will probably only come back again.

So, whatever the problem is, you can reassure him that it's better to sort it out sooner rather than later. And you could suggest that as he usually clams up with people he doesn't know well, he might want to write down what the problem is, just to show the GP, and remind him that you are outside if he wants you to come in, but only if he wants you to come in.

vikki_louise

How is he after his appointment?

anxious_mum

So, we went to see the doctor at 4:30 this afternoon, and I explained that he was acting out of character and had had quite a bad headcold for a while...The doctor examined him and looked in his ears and stuff and said that he has a nasty ear infection, which will have made him feel rubbish for a while, and he has an allergy to something.....hay fever? he wasn't sure, but we've got antibiotics and a nasal spray. Then, I said I needed to leave because Jake wanted to speak privately.

So, I kind of loitered outside the door, and I promise I wasn't ear-wigging, but I heard the doctor say 'oh, don't worry, everyone's got one, it's perfectly normal, it's just that yours is a little more pronounced than other people's'.........Jake said something else which I couldn't hear, and again the doctor reassured him that everything was fine!

The door opened then, and the doctor kind of winked at me and said 'Next time I see Jake I expect him to be back to his happy normal self', so I know nothing serious is going on.

Anyway, I asked Jake if he was happy that everything was sorted now, and that he had nothing to worry about, and he smiled at me for the first time in what seems like ages and said 'yes mum, everything's fine now'.

I think he had felt a bump on his head and his overactive imagination went into overdrive. I am so pleased that everything is OK, and I'm so happy that Jake's mind has been put at rest. Thank you everyone for your help and concern, I expect my old Jake to come back, especially when his ear is better. Just to think, he had awful ear ache that he wouldn't tell me about because he had felt a bump on his head that he thought was abnormal. This poor boy has had me in tears many times over the last few weeks. Here's to happier times x

meritaten

anxious_mum - I cant help it, but i dissolved in giggles reading your post! sounds so much like my 13 yr old GD! I fully expect your son to be his old self in the morning!
absolutely nothing to do with your son - but my DG is Aspie and before he was diagnosed at age 11 about the age of five he suddenly started asking - is that river Hot water or Cold water whenever we went over a bridge! luckily, in South Wales they are all Cold water............but it took ages before we worked out that he had seen a TV programme about Crocodiles and Alligators, had looked them up and realised they didnt live in Cold water and was just checking it was safe to cross the river (albeit in a car)! But he would NOT say why he wanted to know if rivers were hot or cold water! so I think I understand a bit how you have felt the last few weeks!
OH and whenever we go over a bridge now we tell him - NO CROCODILES! he thinks thats funny!

I am so pleased that nothing is wrong with him! I WAS worried for a bit as an Aspie with a problem he can research can get obsessed - and just very occasionally they ARE right!

Savvy_Sue

So happy for you! Isn't it astonishing how much empathy they can show at times?

anxious_mum

I am so pleased that nothing is wrong with him! I WAS worried for a bit as an Aspie with a problem he can research can get obsessed - and just very occasionally they ARE right![/QUOTE]

You are so right, the research he odes on subjects is amazing. But I can understand how a painful ear ache teamed with a lump that he couldn't explain would completely lead him down the wrong path. Bless all aspies, they are very special people, and I love your crocodile story

anxious_mum

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

So happy for you! Isn't it astonishing how much empathy they can show at times?

Yes Savvy-Sue, thank goodness everything turned out OK. I think the 'proper' Jake will be back tomorrow, but I'm giving him the day off school to do some revision, and he didn't argue with that!