Terminal Illness? Aspergers experts, please help?

anxious_mum

I have a son, he is a month off 16years, and he was diagnosed with aspergers when he was about 4. He is now a lovely grown up young man, he deals with his problems well and is off to college in september.

However....over the last few weeks I have had so many complaints from school...he is being rude, he is not doing his work, he is being obstructive....This is so out of character! I went into school and spoke to his head of year, and also to his tutor. They both said he had changed over the last few weeks.

I have also noticed a change. He is not so open with me as he used to be, we don't 'talk' anymore. Plus, he seems to have a secret. He begged me to make an appointment at the doctors for him, and i agreed, it's for this Thursday but he won't let me come in with him, it has to e confidential. I wandered past his PC just now and saw 'I have a terminal illness' written by him, on the monitor to people I don't know....:eek:

I have tried to speak to him but he says he can't tell me anything.

Has anyone got experience of hormonal aspies? he has never acted like this before, he is like someone I don't know rather than someone I have been soooo close to for all of his life?

anxious_mum

Duchy, I tried to PM you....your email bag is too full lol! empty the thing!

RedBern

I don't think your son is 'of age' until he is 16 so I think you can ask about any medical condition?

anxious_mum

Do you mean after the fact RedBern? so he can speak to the doctor, and then I can find out what it was all about afterwards?

rachbc

Confidential medical advice can be given if the person giving it believes the person getting the advice is capable of understanding it and making their own decisions and understanding hte implications of those decisions (Fraser Guidelines)

Sorry I don't know much about ASD and how this would affect if the Dr would consider him competant or not, but i think allowing him to have the confidential appointment was a very sensible thing to do - at least he has someone to talk to.

anxious_mum

Thank you rachbc, I need to know I am least heading in the right direction.... i am so worried, he is acting so out of character, all he wants is to 'see the doctor'. The weird thing is, when he is confronted by people he doesn't know he clams up and won't say a word! Especially if I'm not there.

whitewing

Maybe he has found a lump on his testicles?

That would possibly cause a lot of stress and anxiety in someone that age?

rachbc

How much does he understand about normal adolescent body changes - do you think he could have convinced himself he has a terminal illness and the change in behaviour is a result of this anxiety?

If he actually were to be ill then I expect the Dr would strongly encourage him to discuss with you and even break confidentiality if he refused to do so.

meritaten

hun - he sounds like a very worried young man. See if he will talk to you AFTER his appointment, it may well turn out to be nothing to worry about - but HE doesnt know that right now! If he still wont talk to you then you should make an appointment with the doctor he has seen and ask them if they can tell you whether there is a problem.

anxious_mum

whitewing wrote: »

Maybe he has found a lump on his testicles?

That would possibly cause a lot of stress and anxiety in someone that age?

You have no idea how you have helped! I read your post and just called through the room 'Jake, is everything OK with your testicles', and he said 'yes, but I have lump on my head'. Anyone who knows aspies will know that this is a usual reply. If I had said, do you have a lump on your head, he would say no. If I had said, do you have a lump on your testicles, he would say no. They sometimes have to have a comparative thing going on to make sense of things.

So, now I think I may have something to work on.

For peeps who don't have aspies, this isn't as clear cut as it seems, they are wiley beasts without even knowing anything about it.

anxious_mum

meritaten wrote: »

hun - he sounds like a very worried young man. See if he will talk to you AFTER his appointment, it may well turn out to be nothing to worry about - but HE doesnt know that right now! If he still wont talk to you then you should make an appointment with the doctor he has seen and ask them if they can tell you whether there is a problem.

He is very worried, it is driving me to distraction, I just want to help him. If it goes nowhere after his appointment I will definitely see the doctor and find out what his worries were. He is doing his GCSEs right now, maybe that has something to do with it. I dunno, he has gone so out of character. Maybe its because he's coming up to 16, but I've told him about stuff, plus he has an older brother......