Legal rights re children

scooby088

What a minefield this is, i don't envy you or your children should things come to the worst. I just hope that everything gets sorted.

gratefulforhelp_2

Eridani wrote: »

Hello all - need a bit of help regarding future planning for my family

a bit of background (please don't judge)

I've been married 3 times. I have four children all to different fatherss

Child 1 - born in May 1997, was married to her father, divorced, lost custody of her temporarily due to depression but she was with me more often than father. Moved out of area in 2007 and she came with me and now lives with me full time. There is an old residency order from 1999 - is this now obsolete as she's lived with me so long? I get the child benefit etc.

She is 14? She can decide where she lives pretty much.

Child 2 - born in Sept 2001 - father was never successfully identified so no father on birth certificate. I Married somebody in 2003 and he took her on as his own. In 2009 I seperated and divorced this person. He never adopted her but she knows him as Dad, despite the fact she knows he is not her biological parent.

Child 3 born December 2003 - born in marriage to the person mentioned above. This child IS my 2nd husbands biological child, he has regular contact and pays maintenance for him. I divorced his biological father in 2009/2010

Child 4, born November 2010 in marriage to my 3rd husband who I am still with.

My questions are

1. Does child 1's father still have parental responsibility?
2. Who, if anyone has parental repsonsibility for my second child?
3. As I have divorced 3rd childs father, does he still have parental responsibility?
4. What is the legal position if I die? would all four children automatically be left with my current husband (does he have parental responsibiliy for them all?) - I need to put something in place to ensure the children all stay together under one roof - can any of my ex's contest this?

I know this is a complicated post and I hope nobody is going to judge me as there are good reasons for my life unfolding as it did - if anyone can point me to a website or organisation that can give me further advice (that doesnt cost too much money) then I'd be very grateful.

With thanks

Eri

Advice I have had from a solicitor is it depends on other circs as to whether absent parent could get residence.
For example, would the child be removed from siblings? Yes
Would the child have to change schools?
Would the child lose contact with others important in his/her life such as grandparents seen regularly?

RAS wrote: »

I strongly advise that you make a will.

But first talk to your eldest child and ask him/her what they would like to happen in the event of your death.

Then try and have a very open conversation with all three acknowledged fathers and see if they can agree a wqay forward that can be the basis of your will.

Any father with parental responsibility can however challenge a will and would be entitled to take care of the child for which they have PR.

I think this would end up in court if it was contested. Have you written a will as RAS says and expressed your wishes?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Of course, once your eldest is 16 (and I have experienced this with a friend at college), she could be the person the others reside with. After all, it is perfectly legal for a 16 year old to get married and have children of her own.

The friend in question became responsible for her 10 year old brother because, in the words of her mum 'my parents are child beating nutters and his father is my ex because he disappeared off the face of the earth'. The grandparents contested the mum's instructions, despite the reasoning for her decision being made absolutely clear and the judge ruled that my friend was able to fulfill the obligations placed upon her better than anyone else.


I think this is important enough to see a family specialist solicitor, saying 'I want my children to remain together. What is the best way to ensure this is what happens in the event of my death now and when DD is 16/18?'.

Mojisola

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

The friend in question became responsible for her 10 year old brother because, in the words of her mum 'my parents are child beating nutters and his father is my ex because he disappeared off the face of the earth'. The grandparents contested the mum's instructions, despite the reasoning for her decision being made absolutely clear and the judge ruled that my friend was able to fulfill the obligations placed upon her better than anyone else.

Is that what she wrote in her official instructions?!

clairec79

mrsspendalot wrote: »

Yes he would, as they were married. Marriage always automatically gives the father PR

Thanks - read it as not married to that one

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Mojisola wrote: »

Is that what she wrote in her official instructions?!

I think she had it written in slightly more legalese than the English translation!

In any case, her wishes were respected by the judge, so it must have been worded in a way which had the desired effect!

Eridani

Hi everyone thanks for all your help, I know where I am with child 1 and child 3 now.

I really need to get this sorted and I'm so not looking forward to it. First of all I will attempt to speak to the ex's, I don't think they will agree to it and its difficult to speak to ex #2 as he was very physically abusive to me. I can imagine this will cost me a lot of money, but I MUST have peace of mind on it

What sort of fees would i be looking at to sort it? me and my new husband are not working at the moment as I am sick, would legal aid cover it or not?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Don't recall any mention of anyone's permission compulsorily being sought in advance.

Surely it doesn't need to be brought up unless you die?


Before contacting exes all over the place, I think the short, cheap fee sessions at the solicitors are worthwhile.

marshmallows

The stepparent will only get pr if they are part of the residency application which is very rare these days. You can go to court to get stepparent pr if the other fathers don;t agree but you need a pretty good reason for it tbh

MatyMoo

Gerry Robinson did a series on wills earlier in the year and this sort of scenario came up.

Two children, different fathers, mother living with 2nd child's father and 1st child's father had regular contact. Mum wanted to guarantee that if anything happened to her the children would not be split up and would remain with her current partner (can't remember if they were married though).

If I remember correctly it didn't matter what Mum put in the will the real surviving parent *could* insist that their child lived with them. What they did was open up communication channels and the 1st father understood the bond between the two children should not be broken and was happy for them to stay together as long as he was still able to have contact and be involved in decisions for her. This was then written in to the will as an expression of wish but could still have been contested if the father's fell out in a major way, so it was not water tight.

But I may have got it wrong....