Legal rights re children

Eridani

Hello all - need a bit of help regarding future planning for my family

a bit of background (please don't judge)

I've been married 3 times. I have four children all to different fatherss

Child 1 - born in May 1997, was married to her father, divorced, lost custody of her temporarily due to depression but she was with me more often than father. Moved out of area in 2007 and she came with me and now lives with me full time. There is an old residency order from 1999 - is this now obsolete as she's lived with me so long? I get the child benefit etc.

Child 2 - born in Sept 2001 - father was never successfully identified so no father on birth certificate. I Married somebody in 2003 and he took her on as his own. In 2009 I seperated and divorced this person. He never adopted her but she knows him as Dad, despite the fact she knows he is not her biological parent.

Child 3 born December 2003 - born in marriage to the person mentioned above. This child IS my 2nd husbands biological child, he has regular contact and pays maintenance for him. I divorced his biological father in 2009/2010

Child 4, born November 2010 in marriage to my 3rd husband who I am still with.

My questions are

1. Does child 1's father still have parental responsibility?
2. Who, if anyone has parental repsonsibility for my second child?
3. As I have divorced 3rd childs father, does he still have parental responsibility?
4. What is the legal position if I die? would all four children automatically be left with my current husband (does he have parental responsibiliy for them all?) - I need to put something in place to ensure the children all stay together under one roof - can any of my ex's contest this?

I know this is a complicated post and I hope nobody is going to judge me as there are good reasons for my life unfolding as it did - if anyone can point me to a website or organisation that can give me further advice (that doesnt cost too much money) then I'd be very grateful.

With thanks

Eri

Kaz2904

I seem to remember that there was a case last year where a mum was dying from cancer and she had 2 children by different dads. IIRC, it was the stepmum of the eldest child who was posting on here. I think thegeneral consensus was that both children were to stay together at the new husbandss house and under his care but the biological father would still have input. I think that what happened was both children were to be encouraged to go to the eldests biological father for tea and weekends and stuff to give the (soon to be) widowed father a chance to sort himself out. This was only an option because it was a continuation of previous behaviour and all 4 adults had sat down and thought about what was the best for the children and how to be most helpful for the new dad.

It's a minefield though, I hope someone has some better advice.

clearingout

1st and 3rd child's fathers still have parental responsiblity, yes. Not something you can 'take away' - mum's don't get to give it or take it away, it's a legal right as a biological father.

mrsspendalot

Eridani wrote: »

My questions are

1. Does child 1's father still have parental responsibility? yes as you were married to him. Divorce doesn't remove parental responsibility
2. Who, if anyone has parental repsonsibility for my second child? only you currently, as there is no biological parent registered
3. As I have divorced 3rd childs father, does he still have parental responsibility? yes, as you were married to him. Divorce doesn't remove parental responsibility
4. What is the legal position if I die? would all four children automatically be left with my current husband (does he have parental responsibiliy for them all?) - I need to put something in place to ensure the children all stay together under one roof - can any of my ex's contest this?

Your current husband only has parental responsibility for the child who is biologically his, but you can both apply for him to have parental responsibility of his step-children. You should probably make a Will containing your wishes for the children should something happen to you.

Hope the above helps?

clairec79

child 1's father wouldn't automatically have parental responsibility, however if he requested it and got it legally when the child was younger then it would still stand (which I suspect is the case if he had residency) - I'd check out the legal aspect though
child 2 - you are the only one with PR
child 3 - your ex still has PR

If you die you need a will and can request they all stay together with your new husband but your wishes aren;t automatically granted, if your ex wanted to he'd be able to contest it. If you were hit by a bus tomorrow and your ex was willing to take on all the kids (as siblings staying together is normally a compelling factor) then it could be seen that the ex would have a stronger case for having all 4 kids as the resident parents rather than your new husband, as he's had the longer relationships with the kids and hasn't been long with him not there all the time.

Also the eldest at any rate would have their own wishes taken into account

mrsspendalot

clairec79 wrote: »

child 1's father wouldn't automatically have parental responsibility, however if he requested it and got it legally when the child was younger then it would still stand (which I suspect is the case if he had residency) - I'd check out the legal aspect though

Yes he would, as they were married. Marriage always automatically gives the father PR

RAS

I strongly advise that you make a will.

But first talk to your eldest child and ask him/her what they would like to happen in the event of your death.

Then try and have a very open conversation with all three acknowledged fathers and see if they can agree a wqay forward that can be the basis of your will.

Any father with parental responsibility can however challenge a will and would be entitled to take care of the child for which they have PR.

marshmallows

child 1 and child 3's father have PR.
If you want your oh to have pr for all the children you will need permission from the other fathers who have PR for their kids. If you die legally both fathers with pr could take them and then your husband would have to fight to get them back and if that happened as long as the fathers agreed to maintain the kids relationships with the other kids then i doubt a court would give your new husband custody of the children when their biological father are still in their lives and have regular contact.

marshmallows

We were told that if no formal residency is in place (through the courts) then 99% of the time the children will go to the other biological parent if they have regular contact. Obviously everyone's situation is different

mrsspendalot

marshmallows wrote: »

child 1 and child 3's father have PR.
If you want your oh to have pr for all the children you will need permission from the other fathers who have PR for their kids. If you die legally both fathers with pr could take them and then your husband would have to fight to get them back and if that happened as long as the fathers agreed to maintain the kids relationships with the other kids then i doubt a court would give your new husband custody of the children when their biological father are still in their lives and have regular contact.

Also, if the other fathers don't agree to your husband having/sharing PR for their children, you can apply to the court for a residency order which would give their step-father PR that way until they were 16

http://www.family-lawfirm.co.uk/Articles/Children/Step-parents-rights-and-responsibilities.aspx

http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/7.html

Nicki

Would the children prefer to live with their siblings rather than their blood parent, bearing in mind stepdad might marry again and they'd then be brought up by 2 non blood relatives? And 1 and 2 will leave home at some point leaving 3 with a non-blood parent who may have gone on to have children of his own to whom they aren't related either.

It obviously depends on the relationship 1 and 3 have with their own dads surely? But it's not uncommon on divorce for older children to split from siblings so they can live with the parent of choice, so it is worth taking into consideration their wishes.