Help Please.

shortbread

I think what people arent reading is that we are not disputing her share in it.....it would amount to 1k after the loan was paid. What I'm finding distressing is that she has started this now after having ample opportunity to walk away owing nothing back in 2009 when she chose to walk out.

To take on the mortgage we need a joint income of 38k.....in some peoples world Gigglepig that's quite a lot!!! Also I think the fact my partner hasnt just walked away and not paid the mortgage and loan like her has done her a massive favour because its kept her credit intact....something she doesn't seem to give a hoot about.

January20

Is the house on the market? If so has there been any interest in it? It's fine the ex saying she wants to force a sale but if nobody wants to buy the house...

You say your partner loves the house, but would it not be worth it selling it, and being shot of his ex and her games? It's only a house, you can make home somewhere else!

Your ex is unemployed, if the house was sold you could rent a cheaper property until he found a job and you could get a mortgage together perhaps?

shortbread

January.....I know exactly what you are saying and in reality it sounds the right solution. Its not up for sale but I honestly think his ex will want it up for a lot more than it will get, she is so money motivated....MY partner has resigned himself to the fact it may well have to be sold.....my distress just comes with how she has manipulated this and then asked for mediation to make it look to the courts that my partner has been unreasonable.....when infact she would take months to reply to simple letters from his solicitor.....so tedious when things can be so less complicated. To be fair....after this I dont think I ever want to be involved in a joint mortgage no matter how much I love him...lol

pinkshoes

1. Sell house

2. Pay debt.

3. Pay other costs.

4. Split left over money 50/50 (although I doubt there will be any left!)

People, relationships and families are important, bricks and mortar aren't, so just sell the house, and move on. Rent yourself a nice home somewhere, and concentrate on enjoying being a family, as life is far too short.

mrs_marty

What a horrible situation, I would be glad to get rid of the house just to get rid of the ex wife! Sadly when dealing with a spiteful ex, they appear to be able to stoop to all sorts of levels and sadly get away with it as there is no policing morals.

I think to sell the house she will have to see that the valuation that is given is the true market value and she is more than welcome to get as many valuations as she likes but it needs to be sold, either that would she like it to be re-possesed owing to the fact that your OH is the only one paying the mortgage and he isnt working, Im not suggesting for one single second he stops paying, but if she is so money based it might scare her into action. Its a shame you cant afford to buy her out.

Hope things work out

claretmatt

You will only be able to stay in the property if:-

1. She accepts the true amount she is owed - £1k
2. The loan company allow him to take on the £10k loan
3. He gets a full time secured job very soon with a reasonable salary. It would not automatically have to be £38k per annum.

If the answer is no or not sure to any of these then your partner needs to be resigned to the fact that he has no chance of keeping the property and resolving his divorce anytime soon.

If he wants this situation ending which he must do after 4 years then get the house on the market.

clearingout

bluntly, you're a third party interfering in something that isn't really your problem (I appreciate it is 'cos it's your home, but hopefully you understand what I mean) and sadly, third parties add fuel to fires and keep embers burning long, long, long after they should have been extinguished. Don't try and second guess her motives or whether or not she is game playing or trying to make life difficult. What's done is done. You need to deal with the situation and get it finished.

If you can't afford the house, it needs to be sold. Taking it to court will cost thousands you clearly don't have and the outcome is unlikely to be any different - a judge cannot order a mortgage company to allow your partner to take on the mortgage if he doesn't currently meet their criteria for lending. It's that simple. If she's on legal aid, they will be expecting their money back and this is perhaps something that needs pointing out to her at the earliest opportunity. She probably doesn't realise it. And if she does, she's been awkward for the sake of it so some ultimatums need to be issued which her solicitor tells her she'd be wise to accept.

It is normal in these situations not to pay half the mortgage if you have no use of the property (which she doesn't) so you have no reason to be angry or annoyed about that. yes, she's an ungrateful moo that he's kept her credit rating going (wish my ex had had the decency to do that, believe me) but he's also kept his own credit rating going at the same time so it's not like he's done something totally alturistic, is it? To find a way forward, you need to stop being annoyed about what she may or may not have done and look for a solution - probably selling the house and moving on. Better than all this stress, surely?

January20

shortbread wrote: »

January.....I know exactly what you are saying and in reality it sounds the right solution. Its not up for sale but I honestly think his ex will want it up for a lot more than it will get, she is so money motivated....MY partner has resigned himself to the fact it may well have to be sold.....my distress just comes with how she has manipulated this and then asked for mediation to make it look to the courts that my partner has been unreasonable.....when infact she would take months to reply to simple letters from his solicitor.....so tedious when things can be so less complicated. To be fair....after this I dont think I ever want to be involved in a joint mortgage no matter how much I love him...lol

The ex may want it up for more than it's worth but really it will only be worth what people are prepared to pay for it and at the moment it's a buyer's market.

Your partner is playing right into her hands by not wanting to sell the house! Get some valuations, get it on the market and have a look at where you could go and live. It's not going to get sold in a couple of weeks so you have time to make plans so you are not homeless!

At this point, it doesn't matter whether she has been unreasonable or not. What do you want? Do you want to spend the next few months or years fighting with the ex or do you want shot of her so you can start living your life as a family, you your son and your partner? I know what I would choose!

Dinah93

Who has told you you'd need an income of 38k? Its rare a morgage company requires a 3x income multiplier - its affordability they look at more now. If otherwise you're debt free they will go up to 6x your salary a lot of the time, but its a case of you working out what you afford if you want to go that route.

shortbread

Clearing Out....its kinda my problem when I'm paying the mortgage!!!!! Dinah this is what his Mortgage provider assessed him at when he wanted to take the mortgage on by himself...he had the okay then to do it on those figures.....

Im sick of all of it.....Clearly his ex is a nasty woman full of spite but hey no point crying over spilled milk. I guess what will be will be...maybe when she realises she isnt on the free ride she thought things may change.