'The weird things neighbours do' thread

orangeslimes

One of my parent's neighbours likes to put the rubbish out and do gardening in the nude... well the time I saw him he was wearing a shirt and nothing else. Presumably he thinks because it is dark no one can see him, but I know from my mum that he is the subject of gossip amongst several of the neighbours...
Still it doesn't harm anyone I suppose.

Luckyred

I love the neighbourhood that we live in and after reading some of the posts on this thread I appreciate it even more. I suppose some people might find it boring...its all manicured lawns and hanging baskets and its quiet.
We are all on speaking, waving terms etc but are not in and out of each others houses. There arent even any children on our avenue except for one baby.
The only weird thing is....one lady nearby doesnt like people putting washing out on Sundays because she thinks it "lowers the tone". I dont know why it bothers her because you cant see any washing in other peoples back gardens and quite how it "lowers the tone" is beyond me! She reminds me of Hyacinth Bucket.

dander

I used to live in a block of flats and all the flats had a small balcony about that stuck out about 2-3 foot from the living room and we were on the second floor. Next door lived a single mother and her daughter, about 12 or 13 years old. On a Sunday morning, the daughter would stand on her balcony and deliberately throw a small rubber ball onto ours and then come round and ring the front door bell and ask for the ball back - she'd do it at least five times every Sunday. One day when I answered the door she was tugging at her top so her entire chest was showing. To this day I have no idea if it was a wardrobe malfunction or she was deliberately flashing me. (I'm female!)

In this house I used to have a single neighbour who loved her breadmaker more than she loved eating bread. She used to regularly bring me steaming hot loaves just out of the blue - particularly if she saw I had visitors. Sadly she's moved now

C_Mababejive

Near neighbours think they are living on the open prairies of Minnesota or something.

They have this outdoor huntin,shootin fishin mindset which makes them burn food outside in the garden (a Barbie?) when there is a perfectly good cooker not more than 10ft away and they also set log fires in the garden and sit round them until late at night like squaws and indians chatting. All this in a suburban terraced back yard.

Jowo_2

We had chav property owners living on the ground floor of our block of tenements who fancied that they were property developers (their properties were later repossessed and one lot of unpaid builders sabotaged one of their properties by wrecking the drains). They couldn't sell their flat so moved into it. They carved a 2 bed traditional tenement flat into a 3 bedroom flat by getting rid of the large dining kitchen and they also installed a wet room - the tiny kitchen/tiny extra bedroom and lack of a bath deterred buyers.

Tenements in Scotland tend to have tiny front gardens leading directly onto the pavement, if they have any gardens at all. Our prize pratts used to hold regular barbeques on their 2 metre strip of grass, complete with hammock. They used to exercise their dogs by opening up their windows and shoving them into the back court so they could foul there. They would also leave out bags of rubbish and their shoes in the corridor. One of my neighbours said "They don't just live in their flat, they've taken over the entire building." Occasionally one of their parties (middle aged ravers) would get out of hand and the bloke shoved her head through their window.

Anyway, last I heard, they had fled their creditors and were living in a shack on the beach in Asia while the fellow learned martial arts (I guess those unpaid builders must have frightened them). The flat that they bought at the height of the property boom for £120k and spent other people's money refurbishing, which they couldn't sell for £140k as the market nose-dived, has just been sold after repossession to a property developer for £77k. This is a proper property developer who has quickly flipped it without the need to sunbathe and display their back fat to members of the public walking buy to go to the station at the end of the street.

m_13

We lived next to a couple and their two small children. We had bets on how long therr washing would stay out on the line. It stayed out in rain or shine for weeks on end. She used to lock him out and he would shout at her from the road and she'd shout back. They had a load of new furniture delivered on the day before they went bankrupt. I remember them showing me proudly that they'd managed to put laminate floor on their stairs

In another house my deeply religious staid elderly parents came to visit. My male next door neighbour saw my mother carrying a steam wallpaper stripper from the car and came over. He gyrated in front of her and asked if she needed a male stripper. She was horrified. He was profoundly deaf and once asked me to come round to make a call for him. When I took over the call it was the doctors and he wanted to discuss his piles with them. Horrendous. Our property had open views to the Black Mountains but he'd put up several tall hedges so from downstairs he couldn't see a thing out of the windows.

One of our neighbours where we live now has moved from a flat on our floor to one on the floor above in the next block. For some reason he doesn't feel he needs any window coverings at all. Not a single blind or curtain not even on the bedrooms. When I look out of our lounge and bedroom we see into his lounge and bedroom. I've made myself stop looking up as the windows are full height floor to ceiling.

betmunch

I feel so lucky to have my neighbours I have after reading this.

I like to keep myself to myself, but am polite when I see someone from our road.

Theres an older lady who I hardy ever see. A house full of Eastern European workers who are lovely and quiet (nice because my daughter sleeps over their kitchen!) A trademan who goes out of his way to say hello, but only actually parks on our road!

Only problem with my place is that the council have now decided that there is a public footpath between my house and my garden! However I dont have to open the gates to all and sundry so it wont make any difference until I want to sell, and by then I will have had it deleted! Muppets!

Loving the stories though

Jowo_2

Our street has a family where apparently all the males live in one flat and the women and children in another flat on the opposite side of the street. There's quite a lot of occupants in these 2 bedroom flats. For example, in the ladies household there are at least 4 children in one bedroom, someone sleeps in the living room, and there seems to be a handful of adult ladies.

The lone adult male that we regularly see in the female household is assumed to be a visitor and is nicknamed 'The Sperminator' in recognition of his fertility. I knew someone who lived in a flat opposite the male household who witnessed their teenage son, ahem, reguarlly explore himself in the bathroom because the kid didn't realise the window wasn't very opaque or the effect of being backlit...His nickname for the kid is 'The Masturbator'.

Mrs_Arcanum

Lets see. We have the manic depressive, the fish & chip guy with LD (nice chap but seems to live off fish & chips). The other MH person who gets carted off very meekly in plastic cuffs from time to time. The chap who thinks planning permission is for other people. The neighbour who copies others (but always bigger). Did a lovely job on the fence between us that is oddly half & half responsibility. The druggie is currently elsewhere following a fire in his flat. Then there is the bi-polar epileptic who seems to get his partner/carers from America. The noisy chav family who seem to have 6 children plus lodgers in a 3 bed semi. Another large family who think the area is the burglary capital of the south east with the amount of alarms & cameras they have (actually one of the safest areas in the UK). Not forgetting the former Hells Angel or the girl we never see. Then throw into this the parking shortage (technically enough for 1 per household) and we have an excellent neighbourhood. We all pass the time of day to one another and are generally very friendly.

chalkie99

geoffky wrote: »

The bloke next door to my father and mother in law who is in his late 40s rather than walk up ten flights of stairs goes out of the back door and urinates in the back.. i saw him a while ago and pulled him on it,but of course he denied it,,,dirty little lazy slob...:mad:

Bit of an unfortunate turn of phrase - I hope