Feeling a bit miffed

adea

It's my 40th birthday tomorrow and hubby has to sign on at 9am, so I do the school run as usual.
I have no problem with that.
What I do have problem with, well feel miffed about, is when I asked him what time I should wake him in the morning, he said 8 o'clock.

Now our 2 dd's are usually up around anytime from 7.20 onward.
I feel a bit upset that he couldn't get up a little earlier with the girls and let me have a slight lie in.:(
Instead, I have the usual hassle of constantly reminding him of the time and getting him to get up, as well as getting the girls ready for school.

Part of what is upsetting me, is that for the past week, I have been doing pretty much everything round the house as he was unable to (he has osteoarthritis of the spine and his back just goes at times, making it very difficult for him to do anything) as well as doing everything with the girls and getting him his tablets to take.

This morning he was supposed to get up with the girls and let me have a lie in, so I wake him at 8.45 and let him know the girls are up and will be wanting breakfast but as usual, he snuggles up behind me and goes back to sleep.
I nudged him again an hour later and it still took him another 5/10 mins to get up.
I then get woken an hour later to say my mum and stepdad are on their way, so I get up and that was the end of my trying to get a lie in.
He does this so often and it really cheeses me off but he never changes.

I guess i'm just feeling a little sorry for myself and needed to offload a little.:o

southoftheriver

Happy Birthday for tomorrow! Life begins you know

How do you usually work through issues that come up between you? It may be that he is just completely oblivious and you nudging him in the right direction and letting him know how you feel may make all the difference.

If he is doing the same things that annoy you and you have spoken about it before then that is frustrating but if you haven't, he isn't a mind reader. Maybe getting it out in the open will help?

I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow

mirrorimage0

agree with above poster, imafraid most men just dont have a clue and gently nudging does nothing, you have to be straightwith them and tell them whats upsetting you and why. example my other half and ihave a catalouge whic has £35 credit on it, im pregnant at the mo and my feet get really sore with standing at work all day so i showed him in the brochure a champneys footspa reduced to £35 left it on theside with the catlouge statement for a week. still no footspa so i ordered it myself yesterday lol

gratefulforhelp_2

You have to do what my DD does, poke him at annoying intervals, in the back if the neck until he gets up...or deliver a monologue on dollies!

welshcamper

Happy 40th Birthday!!..have a great day xxxxxx

euronorris

My OH has terrible trouble getting up early. He has 3 alarms that go off on a work day, and I still have to tell him to get up as I'm getting dressed.

It's worse on the weekends, as he is knackered by then, but if he has to get up early and he's ignoring his alarm clock, he gets gently nudged first, then shoved, and my voice gets louder and louder until he gets up. Yes, he's grumpy, but he just won't get up otherwise. He's slept through all 3 alarms before! lol

ETA: Next time, don't wait an hour. If he needed to be up at 8.45am, then you keep nudging him etc until he actually gets up. Him just saying 'Yeah, OK' or mumbling something of the sort is no good. If he's anything like my OH, then he's still asleep and sleep talking. That man can even sleep pee! Thankfully remembers where the bathroom is! lol

uolypool

Hi I dont have a hubby or partner ( no sad face) so can't help you on that one but just want to wish you a very happy birthday , enjoy yourself run a nice hot bath with lots of bubbles and pop a cd on and relax with a glass of wine.Pure indulgance at a cheap price.

Lucy1973

Well,I can sympathise with your hubby if i'm honest. I have arthitis and it takes me a good while to get up in the mornings and get going to,aswell as the overwelming tiredness some days. Having said that,he should help out when he can on his good days.

Amber07

It amazes me how people expect their partners to be able to read their minds

While most of us women have become quite good at it, the majority of men have yet to learn this skill

My apologies to any men out there who are different, but men just don't seem to put as much importance on birthdays as woman. Look at every male/female relationship you know...who sends out all the birthday/christmas cards etc? 9 times out of 10 it will be the female in the relationship.

If you want something to happen - TELL HIM it has to happen (assuming he is able with his condition): 'Honey - you're getting up with the girls, I'm having a birthday lie in' I know my husband would register at that point that I was wanting some special treatment and would make sure he brought me some tea and toast in the morning as well.

euronorris

Lucy1973 wrote: »

Well,I can sympathise with your hubby if i'm honest. I have arthitis and it takes me a good while to get up in the mornings and get going to,aswell as the overwelming tiredness some days. Having said that,he should help out when he can on his good days.

I was also wondering about this. I think he genuinely struggles with getting up.

I remember having strong painkillers and muscle relaxants when my back was bad, and some days I just wouldn't hear the alarm at all. Soooo not like me, as I usually wake instantly with quiet alarms! As I was living at home at the time, it was my Mum who would come in and wake me up, but I still really struggled and would often be late to work on those days, if at all.

OP, talk to you OH about it and find out why he finds it so hard.

Caroline73_2

Are you and your husband able to speak and listen? Give that a go. It could help.