New Post Advanced Search

Coronavirus: Stay up to date with the latest from MSE


The MSE team is working extremely hard to keep the info we have about your travel rights, cancellation rights, sick pay (and more) up to date.
Stay updated with our guides: Coronavirus Help & Your Rights * Coronavirus Travel Rights
NEWSFLASH 27/03
MARTINS VIDEO FOR SELF-EMPLOYED * DELAY HOUSE MOVES * EUROSTAR UPDATE

Re the too frugal post

edited 29 March 2011 at 7:13PM in Debt-Free Wannabe
31 replies 11.4K views
nogoodwithmoney11111nogoodwithmoney11111 Forumite
73 posts
edited 29 March 2011 at 7:13PM in Debt-Free Wannabe
Hopefully not a strange post but wanted some views as been mulling on this for a couple of months now, with Christmas being a trigger point. We have been debt free for a year now and have continued living as if we were still trying to clear the debts off. Our revised soa (I think we will do one of these forever!!) is showing a really good surplus each month now and we have been able to save. We are still doing spending diaries and have a very open and equal way of dealing with the finances together. In the past keeping things secret was the root cause of things getting worse. I would recommend the view that was a previous post by someone in that when you become debt free the debt repayments become an effective pay rise as you have been living within a tight budget and will now have a lot more disposable each month.

There is no doubt that getting into debt was one of the worst things to happen to us and I feel that trying to get out of debt has changed us for the better.

But I feel that I am now completely adverse to taking on additional credit of any kind. We have a cash back credit card that we use and pay off by dd and therefore are using credit to our advantage. I think the compulsion to write was triggered by finding the post on here earlier about being stingy, (12signs of being too tight,) I now worry if thats what we are becoming!!:o I am so afraid of having to go through another 5 year debt journey. There must be a name for debt phobia just like spiders or heights.

But have been having a few pangs of guilt of not going on a nice holiday that the twins wanted to go on to eurodisney so we can see the bank balance grow. And we did Christmas on a shoestring out of habit and think we could have pushed the boat out a bit more.

Sorry for the rambling thoughts, it would take a lot for us to genuinely fall off the debt wagon and we are not about to go out and buy a load of stuff but I worry that we are holding on too tight as a result of a long and hard road.

I wouldn't change where we are now for anything, or the journey we have made as a family together, and my kids will be taught finance management always. But i don't want to pass on a debt phobia either.

Thanks for your views

Ngwm



[threadbanner]box[/threadbanner]
Debts paid off now :j after a life changing journey :money:
«134

Replies

  • I wouldn't even give it a second thought. I am frugal as much as i can be, i don't care what anyone else thinks and there is nothing wrong with having come through everything and being worried about getting back in debt.

    Be proud of what you have achieved and stop feeling guilty..you are planning for your futures, one day they will thank you. Trust me, they never remember how much has been spent on a holiday, my DD1's memories of holidays merge into one. The same with Christmas, consumerism makes us feel like this but i refuse to.
    Blackadder: Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words 'I have a cunning plan' marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?
    Still lurking around with a hope of some salvation:cool:
  • You don't have to use credit to be less frugal - if you are living within your means you can pay cash for items that you would never have dreamed of splurging on when you were still paying off debt.

    It's great to see the bank balance grow, but is it growing for any particular reason? If there's something you are saving for then it's worth carrying on your 'frugal' ways to meet your next goal!
    Savings target: £25000/£25000
    :beer: :T


  • 415SanFran415SanFran Forumite
    743 posts
    You know I was having a conversation with a friend of mine around christmas time who was feeling quite guilty about how little she had to spend in comparison to some others at the school. I then told her to think back to her Christmas's and asked her what she got when she was 10, she had to idea, she said out of all the childhood gifts she could really remember was her brothers lego and her etch-a-sketch because that was the two main things that they had played with for the next couple of years to come.
    My children have had lots of holidays over the years but they one that they remember the most was a 10pound holiday out of the Sun newspaper to Wymouth, that had cost the least.
    Do not feel quilty, feel proud that your children do not have to go to the door and tell lies that you are not there because it is another dept collector that you cannot face.
    (I had to do this the other day at my sisters house, mostly she does not answer her door)
    Ebay 13 ;)........1583.46/2000.00 Amazon sales 54/50 Etsy sales 63/50
    Amazon 14.......4/50 Etsy14............46/75. Ebay........23/200
  • Being in debt just makes The Fat Cats fatter.
    Living Sober.

    Some methods A.A. members have used for not drinking.

    "A simple book for complicated people"
  • 415SanFran wrote: »
    You know I was having a conversation with a friend of mine around christmas time who was feeling quite guilty about how little she had to spend in comparison to some others at the school. I then told her to think back to her Christmas's and asked her what she got when she was 10, she had to idea, she said out of all the childhood gifts she could really remember was her brothers lego and her etch-a-sketch because that was the two main things that they had played with for the next couple of years to come.
    My children have had lots of holidays over the years but they one that they remember the most was a 10pound holiday out of the Sun newspaper to Wymouth, that had cost the least.
    )

    I was fortunate enough to go on a few holidays as a kid - some sunny places in europe and some places in the UK. I remember enjoying them all pretty equally, from torrential rain in a little chalet in Norfolk to a sunny beach in Greece. We never went to Disneyland as we just couldn't afford it, and I haven't turned into a bitter horrible adult because of it, so I'm pretty sure it's not an essential childhood experience!!

    I can't remember what I got for xmas last year let alone as a child....
    Savings target: £25000/£25000
    :beer: :T


  • PoosmatePoosmate Forumite
    3.1K posts
    Congratulations on getting debt free and long may it continue!

    I would imagine (as I haven't reached the dbtfreeness yet) that what you are going through is therapy. I do wonder how I will cope when I have made my last payment off my debt. I'll still have about 7 years left on my mortgage but I worry that if I don't immediately start putting the debt repayment money away to pay for the mortgage will I ever go without that extra cash again?

    Once I won £200 (in the form of vouchers useable in a range of shops) in a raffle. Most people would be delighted. I was terrified. I didn't spend it for months. I was absolutely petrified that I'd spend it on the wrong thing. I thought about stocking up on foodstuff and household shopping but the only food outlet where I could spend them was M&S and I couldn't justify spending so much on so little, with M&S being rather expensive. In the end, I bought a pair of trousers and a blouse for work and a good bra and a bottle of perfume. I sold the rest of the vouchers to someone who would use them in the more expensive shops.

    I hope I will be like you and always be careful of my spending once I am debt free.

    Keep it up (to an extent). Be aware of building an emergency fund, stick it somewhere a little less accessible and build up a spending pot I think. Then when you feel happy with your emergentcy fund and happy with your spending savings, then allow yourself some extra treats.

    I think that's what I will do anyway.

    Good luck

    Poo
    One of Mike's Mob, Street Found Money £1.66, Non Sealed Pot (5p,2p,1p)£6.82? (£0 banked), Online Opinions 5/50pts, Piggy points 15, Ipsos 3930pts (£25+), Valued Opinions £12.85, MutualPoints 1786, Slicethepie £0.12, Toluna 7870pts, DFD Computer says NO!
  • Thanks for views, not saving up for anything in particular, the surplus is simply accumulating as a consequence of more coming in than going out. I just feel guilty about spending money on things!!! We bought a new computer recently using cash back site and cash back credit card getting a further 5% off an already great deal after trimming the spec down and keeping our old keyboard and mouse!!! so all bought and paid for but then couldn't stop thinking about how the old pc would have been ok for another year......aaarrgghh
    Debts paid off now :j after a life changing journey :money:
  • I agree about children and holidays.

    We used to go to Butlins, partly because it was cheap, but there was another reason.

    As I child, I used to moan if mother didn't book us in each year.

    I loved it.

    It was true some of my friends had what I now know to be more expensive holidays.

    But I never felt I'd missed out in any way.
  • I really like the idea of a spending pot, never thought about it like that!!
    Debts paid off now :j after a life changing journey :money:
  • Hannah_10Hannah_10 Forumite
    1.8K posts
    Just because you have money now it doesn't mean you have to spend it. I can totally appretiate why you're feeling scared and I think when you have a nice little savings cushion you will naturally feel more relaxed. How about saving a fixed proportion of your income by having a standing order set up between your current and savings accounts, then just living into the rest?

    The trick is going to be to find comfortable a middle road between splurging and scrimping, so that you are living within your means and are still comfortable. So with Eurodisney how about a nice self-drive camping holiday in France with a day, or even two, at Eurodisney instead? Disney is famous for being poor value, to not immediately up and fly all 4 of you over for a week is hardly the height of mean! I'm another fan of the £10 holidays, I wont be going on any other kind for some years yet, unless they cancel them, but I'm sure they wont. If you use TripAdvisor you can see which locations are nice and which aren't worth the bother. I think I've even seen £10 holidays to France come to think of it, although I can't think who with. That would level out the cost of Disney!
    I refuse to be afraid of the big bad wolf, spiders, or debt collection agencies; one of them's not real and the other two are powerless without my fear.
    (Ok, one of them is powerless, spiders can be nasty.)


    As of the last count I have cleared [STRIKE]23.16%[/STRIKE] 22.49% of my debt. :(
This discussion has been closed.

Quick links

Essential Money | Who & Where are you? | Work & Benefits | Household and travel | Shopping & Freebies | About MSE | The MoneySavers Arms | Covid-19 & Coronavirus Support