Teenagers/Tweens ...Help!!!!

Becles

I've got boys aged 14 and 12 and they are like that.

They get warned when they argue and fight and if it continues they both get banned from everything electronic for a specified amount of time depending on how bad they were!

It does work best punishing both of them as it stops them trying to get each other into trouble

Doesn't stop my three year old daughter who joins in by saying things like "Mam, Josh said I smell of poo" when the boys are in trouble :rotfl:

pigpen

15 aand 12 y.o's in bed for 8:10 ... 15 /yo is very quiet.. I think he is reading but reading is ok.. 12 y/o piddles about.. bed at 7 tomorrow .. he'll learn the hard way like he always does!

Spendless

I have told mine that they are not allowed to be in the same room as each other, talk to each other or look at each other. Then if one is in the living room (where the xbox and wii are) then they have to come off in half an hour to let the other one sit in that room. For some reason this (currently) irritates them more than banning them from whatever they are doing cos then they just continue to entertain themselves by sniping at each other. When I do this mine stop battling each other and just switch sides to a united front cos 'mum is sooooooo unfair'.
I'm quite sure once they think about this a bit more deeply, they'll change tactics and it will no longer work but for now.........

Spendless

Becles wrote: »

I've got boys aged 14 and 12 and they are like that.

They get warned when they argue and fight and if it continues they both get banned from everything electronic for a specified amount of time depending on how bad they were!

It does work best punishing both of them as it stops them trying to get each other into trouble

Doesn't stop my three year old daughter who joins in by saying things like "Mam, Josh said I smell of poo" when the boys are in trouble :rotfl:

My friend has 3 boys (10,8,4) and I recently asked her wasn't it easier to sort out disputes with 3, than it was with 2 when one swears x is true and the other y is true and you've no idea, and she said no cos her youngest just took the side of the brother he was currently feeling 'closest' too and it switched frequently.:D

pigpen

Spendless wrote: »

My friend has 3 boys (10,8,4) and I recently asked her wasn't it easier to sort out disputes with 3, than it was with 2 when one swears x is true and the other y is true and you've no idea, and she said no cos her youngest just took the side of the brother he was currently feeling 'closest' too and it switched frequently.:D

Or thy all grass on the culprit so you tell off said terrorist and they all gang up on you and tell you off for making the terrorist cry...

Possessed they are!!!

north wing of Piggy Palace is quiet.. sadly Dobby is needing ironing!

ailuro2

Who says they're too big for the naughty step?

I think that 11 minutes time out, or 13 minutes in the older one's case sounds like a good idea....

If they send ice hockey players to the sin bin, why not have it for your tweens.

Write out a list of rules as per any child behaviour programme would show, and tell them they're going to the sin bin if they break the rules.

If they refuse to go sit in the sin bin you take away a piece of electronic kit for a week....

won't be long before they either run out of electronics or think before they do stupid things.

Time to take control again - though the rules are obviously going to be a bit different to what they were when they were much younger.;)

tori.k

I know it dosen't help but it will get better as they get older my 16 &13 yr olds are just coming out of the sibling rivalry stage, more due to the 16 year old then the 13.

When mine were about your kids ages i let them set there own punishment which was a loss of a computer games for small stuff like not doing their chores to a full computer ban, it has worked really well, as i dont get moaned at very often as they set the punishment themselves so only have themselves to blame and im no longer the bad guy, it still kicks off from time to time but most of the petty squabbling has stopped

devildog

I would look at this from a different angle. As in why is there sibling rivalry? How involved do you get when they argue/fight/tell tales? Are they treated differntly(this can be for many reasons, baby of the family, more affectionate one, better looking one, cleverer one etc)
I was one of three and there was constant fighting between myself and number two and I felt that no 2 always got parent's attention, always took her side etc. As adults with our own children we have nothing to do with each other.
I always vowed to treat mine the same(no favouritism) on the very (very)rare occasion that they argued I refused to intervene and they sorted it out themselves, afterall if I refused to get involved there was no point in them doing it!!

Although now completely estranged from sister no2, her children are being bought up with a 'favoured' one(history repeating itself!) and her two do nothing but fight/argue/tell tales etc.

It may be worth looking at how you react when they kick off.

patchwork_cat

tori.k wrote: »

I know it dosen't help but it will get better as they get older my 16 &13 yr olds are just coming out of the sibling rivalry stage, more due to the 16 year old then the 13.

When mine were about your kids ages i let them set there own punishment which was a loss of a computer games for small stuff like not doing their chores to a full computer ban, it has worked really well, as i dont get moaned at very often as they set the punishment themselves so only have themselves to blame and im no longer the bad guy, it still kicks off from time to time but most of the petty squabbling has stopped

Mine aren't, if anything they are getting worse. I think it is to do with the 13 year old becoming hormonal! Mine are 17 ( nearly 18) and 13 and all they do is squabble. Part of the problem is the older one tries to parent the younger one. She (13) is hormonal and being very difficult atm, he (17) is taking A2's and is probably stressed not to mention getting a lot of attention recently with trekking to Uni interviews, exams, general which one are you going to pick type attention.

My brother and I fought like cat and dog and at a lot older than my 2 had a very nasty fight when mum was away for a weekend.

I don't agree with the favouritism aspect, mum didn't intervene , ever. In fact she should have done on at least one occassion where my bother split my lip open.

tori.k

Patchwork mine are both lads maybe that has something to do with it,sounds like you have your hands full, but i hope it settle's down for you when DS goes off to uni as they will both have space away from another.

I've been quite lucky with my two and its only had one fight that looked like it was getting nasty, i threw a bucket of cold water over them and told them that what you do when animals fight, they haven't crossed that line again,.. but then i've also stood in a shop a chanted the charge of the light brigade at the top of my voice when they were younger and starting on each other..they were horrified but i told them straight embarrassment works both ways...Kids don't cha just love em"