Teenagers/Tweens ...Help!!!!

lovesabargain123

Hiya
Logged in as a new user ,hope that's ok
I wonder if anyone could point me in the right direction on hints and tips to parenting tweens/teens.
I have 2 boys 11 and 13 and they are driving me to distraction!!!! They are good kids at school and don't go off out causing trouble or anything but at home they are lazy,cheeky, arguing black is white and constantly tell tailing on each other,winding each other up and pushing/hitting/kicking/tripping each other up for no reason what so ever!!!
Infact it has got to the point that I dread them coming in from school.
Take last night for example,they came out on the dog walk with eldest's friend.The friend never got word in at all cos the 2 of them argued,shouted,pushed and tripped each other up,ran round like loonies trying to hit each other (we were on a main road too ) and constantly MUMMMMM tell **** to stop....MUMMMM he did it first! It's like having a couple of toddlers except they are too big to put on the naughty step for time out :rotfl:

Any help much appreciated before I start using reigns and the naughty step again lol

Thanks x

onetomany

sound like my boys who are 8 and 14 ive started asking the oldest to go out to see his freinds just to stop the arguing

delain

Reins :rotfl: fab. I have no advice but I love the idea of teenagers on reins, can just see it now :rotfl:

Alikay

My boys are 3 years apart in age and were like this from the youngest being about 6! Now they're 17 and 20 they've been getting on loads better for a few years now, but probably the peak for vile behaviour towards each other was when DS1 was at primary school and DS2 was at secondary...similar ages to the OP's.

When I'd really had enough I made them both responsible for their own and each other's behaviour "we'll go swimming if you are BOTH sensible", "if ANYONE acts up NO-ONE will be playing on the console today". So there was an incentive to keep things calm rather than get the other one in trouble! Problem was, then, DD (who didn't give two hoots about swimming or console games) would start needling just to enjoy the drama!:D

Now my kids are all young adults it's really great to see what a strong relationship they have with each other, and I'm sure learning to cope with their differences has been good for them in the long run :rotfl:

delain

Alikay wrote: »

My boys are 3 years apart in age and were like this from the youngest being about 6! Now they're 17 and 20 they've been getting on loads better for a few years now, but probably the peak for vile behaviour towards each other was when DS1 was at primary school and DS2 was at secondary...similar ages to the OP's.

When I'd really had enough I made them both responsible for their own and each other's behaviour "we'll go swimming if you are BOTH sensible", "if ANYONE acts up NO-ONE will be playing on the console today". So there was an incentive to keep things calm rather than get the other one in trouble! Problem was, then, DD (who didn't give two hoots about swimming or console games) would start needling just to enjoy the drama!:D

Now my kids are all young adults it's really great to see what a strong relationship they have with each other, and I'm sure learning to cope with their differences has been good for them in the long run :rotfl:

I do this with my lot!

It stops them all being naughty then blaming it on each other

pigpen

I do it with mine as well.

I cannot abide tittletattle.. I won't listen and I won't act on it..

if they argud while out with me we would turn around they'd go home and the friend would have been sent home too.

I give mine 'community service' .. they get to do housework.. floor washing, vacuuming, dusting, filling a rubbish bag, cleaning out pets..

We do 'time out' too.. works very well on the bigger ones.. they have to sit for 5 minutes without fidgetting talking making noise or doing anything.. just sit.. they are ignored other than to tell them their 5 minutes has restarted due to talking or whatever.. I think an hour and a half is about the longest we had one sit.. he now does it first go no questions.. he is just 12.

Back chat doesn't happen.. I have a very volatile temper and one word too many they are mopping a floor.. the last word is mine.. always... even my 19 y/o knows it!

If noone owns up to something everyone is punished..
If the are squabbling over a toy/book/game it is confiscated

Same rules for everyone.. they make me miserable I can make their life unbearable which is not advisable..
it is bedtime we have been battling.. bedtime is 9 for the older ones and they've been faffing.. so.. every minute they take after 9 is a minute knocked off bedtime the next day.. 8:08 for the boys tonight..

sock-knitter

i have 15 year old twin boys, and mine are forever agruing fighting etc, i try and ignore it the best i can, if it gets too violent between them, then i step in and seperate them.
pigpen how old are the ones that are going to bed at 8.08pm tonight?
there is no way my two would go before 9 and usually it is ten

macchicken

I was just the same with my sister.
Encourage them to spend time apart, like joining clubs or learning an instrument (sports might help burn off that excess energy).
Treat any playing up with a stern hand, take away something, like xbox or internet time. Praise good behaviour. Employ the same principles you would with toddlers, just make it suit the situation.
Good luck

pigpen

sock-knitter wrote: »

pigpen how old are the ones that are going to bed at 8.08pm tonight?
there is no way my two would go before 9 and usually it is ten

12 and 15 .. I am the boss and they need to be reminded occasionally!

SkintGypsy

Did you watch 'Friday night dinner' on channel 4? The two grown up boys in that behaved just like this when home with their parents for dinner every week. They must have got that idea for the characters from somewhere!

Caroline_a

pigpen wrote: »

I do it with mine as well.

I cannot abide tittletattle.. I won't listen and I won't act on it..

if they argud while out with me we would turn around they'd go home and the friend would have been sent home too.

I give mine 'community service' .. they get to do housework.. floor washing, vacuuming, dusting, filling a rubbish bag, cleaning out pets..

We do 'time out' too.. works very well on the bigger ones.. they have to sit for 5 minutes without fidgetting talking making noise or doing anything.. just sit.. they are ignored other than to tell them their 5 minutes has restarted due to talking or whatever.. I think an hour and a half is about the longest we had one sit.. he now does it first go no questions.. he is just 12.

Back chat doesn't happen.. I have a very volatile temper and one word too many they are mopping a floor.. the last word is mine.. always... even my 19 y/o knows it!

If noone owns up to something everyone is punished..
If the are squabbling over a toy/book/game it is confiscated

Same rules for everyone.. they make me miserable I can make their life unbearable which is not advisable..
it is bedtime we have been battling.. bedtime is 9 for the older ones and they've been faffing.. so.. every minute they take after 9 is a minute knocked off bedtime the next day.. 8:08 for the boys tonight..

Goodness you sound like I used to be with my girls! However... now that they are 32,30 and 23, they actually thank me for being tough on them! They say that they are glad they were taught manners, and that no means no. So, no matter how tough it gets you have to stick to what you said!

Good luck OP, teenagers are horrible little animals that grow up to be (with a bit of luck) lovely adults!