breastfeeding vs bottlefeeding

pinkclouds

vroombroom wrote: »

Just wondering what other people's opinions and experiences of either were? Obviously I am aware of the benefits of breastfeeding and the cost of bottlefeeding, but what age do you wean babies? I've read about 2 years old still being breastfed:eek:

The guidelines are: introduce solids at around 6 months and switch to cow/soya/goat milk - if you want to - at 12 months. If you happen to stray by a few weeks, either side, just don't mention it to your Health Visitor as they are obliged to quote the government guidelines to you. Think of these magical, arbitrary guidelines as averages - every kid is different.

I'm still breastfeeding past 2 years but this is a choice for me and my kids and you don't have to do this. If you want to breastfeed then you can stop at 12 months with a clear conscience. Likewise, if you bottlefeed, you can stop using formula milk at 12 months with a clear conscience too. ("Follow-on milk" for toddlers is basically cow milk with added vitamins and is totally unnecessary. You can give vitamin drops if you really want to but so long as baby is eating some varied food and is consuming some sort of suitable milk - as a drink - then it's not necessary e.g. cow milk, breastmilk, calcium-fortified soya milk, etc.)

Btw, if this is your first baby then please don't listen to this "happy mom equals happy baby" rubbish. If you get stressed or worried or have post-natal depression or anything horrid like that then you will still be a great mom. The only important things are: baby is clean, fed and loved.

Anacrusis

vroombroom wrote: »

Evening all

Just after some advice (yet again!). I had an antenatal class last night that was all about breastfeeding, it was very informative.

I've got a few weeks left till our little lad is arriving and I honestly haven't given any definitive decision as to if I will breastfeed or bottlefeed. I was going to give breastfeeding a go and see how we both got on, as I know some don't latch on (if thats the word?) and then bottlefeed if need be.

Just wondering what other people's opinions and experiences of either were? Obviously I am aware of the benefits of breastfeeding and the cost of bottlefeeding, but what age do you wean babies? I've read about 2 years old still being breastfed:eek:

thanks guys x

Hi there, I dno't have time to read all your replies, so sorry if I duplicate anything.

I think it's "normal" for humans to breastfeed for up to around 5 years old, but our society here in the UK doesn't see this as normal!

I think the best thing you can do is find out as much as you can about breastmilk and formula milk, and then decide. (which looks like what you're doing!) La Leche League (http://www.laleche.org.uk/) is a good place to get info, and they also have breastfeeding councilors and support groups, if you find you need help working out how to get the hang of beastfeeding when the time comes.

When my children were small, I breastfed for a time, then used a formula, but if I knew then what I know now I would never have used a formula - unless of course there was an emergancy situation that meant there was literally no other option - which in my case there wasn't... you sound really sensible finding out about it, I didn't really think about it.

I have a friend who volunteers on the La Leche League helpline, where mothers having problems breastfeeding can call for info and a chat. I never had any problems feeding but although some people have real problems, and find it quite tough, my friend says this usually gets sorted out by around six weeks, after which all the hard work pays off and it gets much easier!

Breastfed babies usually wean from around 6 months, when they start getting interested in your food + start helping themselve to your food!

Nicki

pinkclouds wrote: »

Btw, if this is your first baby then please don't listen to this "happy mom equals happy baby" rubbish. If you get stressed or worried or have post-natal depression or anything horrid like that then you will still be a great mom. The only important things are: baby is clean, fed and loved.

I sort of agree with this, but only sort of!

Unhappy baby definitely equals unhappy mum. So if breastfeeding isn't working out and baby is constantly starving and grizzly, mum will be miserable and a vicious circle will be set up. Similarly if baby is dramatically not gaining weight, mum will be anxious and post natal depression is more likely.

Stressed, unhappy mum who hates breastfeeding may find that baby picks up on the stress and feeding becomes even more difficult.

In both cases, it is probably better for mum and baby to give a bottle rather than let things spiral to the point of all out post natal depression. Having had PND with one of my three children, I am strongly of the opinion that if it can be avoided it should be, and if that means mum has to make concessions on some aspects of baby care then so be it.

moneypanicker

I breast fed all 3 of mine. The first - i won't lie the first 3 weeks i did find quite tough, but if you carry on and gets sooo easy. You can feed anywhere. i've fed in the zoo, car, cafes - when your baby is hungry its hungry and having it on tap makes it a lot easier.

I used to express so that my DH could give a bottle (or someone else) if i was out but after about 3 months i couldn't be bothered so if i went out i gave formula - i did feel guilty the first time but that didn't last long.

I struggled with my 3rd child as the doctor wanted to put me on some medication that you couldn't take when breastfeeding, although eventually we compromised but the changing of medication so many times had taken its toll on my milk and i wasn't producing much! I gave a mixture of breast and formula and breastfed for 9months the longest of my 3 children. The last breastfeed with my 3rd was quite sad - the end of an era but i am glad i did it.

moneypanicker

Oh i forgot to mention one good point for breastfeeding is that you still have one hand free to do other stuff!!!

rainbow81

Hi, I only read through the first few replies so I expect I will say nothing different but in case I do, here goes!

I had every intention of breastfeeding my son and tried and tried but he would have basically starved if we didn't turn to bottles. I expressed into bottles for 3 months (exhausting!) and was made to feel very guilty by my HV when I wanted to stop and give him formula. So for us the breast didn't work, I felt much better and "back to normal" when my milk finally dried up but I do feel I missed out on something special with not being able to feed him directly.

Whatever you decide be confident that your baby will be fine. My GP said that the cuddles and closeness were far more important than the way the baby was fed, and that really stuck with me.

You get into a routine with the sterilising, you just do it when you're doing the washing up.

Just to add that my son woluldn't latch on and we've just found out that he has a severe tongue tie and never had a chance so if you're baby isn't "into it" don't assume it's you doing something wrong.

Enjoy!

pinkshoes

moneypanicker wrote: »

I breast fed all 3 of mine. The first - i won't lie the first 3 weeks i did find quite tough, but if you carry on and gets sooo easy.

Just the first 3 weeks!?!? I found the first 7 weeks almost mission impossible, really struggled, but some how have now got to 18 weeks!

pinkclouds

Nicki wrote: »

I sort of agree with this, but only sort of!

Unhappy baby definitely equals unhappy mum. So if breastfeeding isn't working out and baby is constantly starving and grizzly, mum will be miserable and a vicious circle will be set up. Similarly if baby is dramatically not gaining weight, mum will be anxious and post natal depression is more likely.

Stressed, unhappy mum who hates breastfeeding may find that baby picks up on the stress and feeding becomes even more difficult.

In both cases, it is probably better for mum and baby to give a bottle rather than let things spiral to the point of all out post natal depression. Having had PND with one of my three children, I am strongly of the opinion that if it can be avoided it should be, and if that means mum has to make concessions on some aspects of baby care then so be it.

If formula milk is best for your baby, then, yes, I agree that's the way to go. (We live in a wonderful era where you can get all kinds of formulas including lactose-free, gluten-free and veggie. Although standard cow-based is fine for most!) However, I don't believe the way you feed your baby (breast or bottle) is necessarily going to make *you* super happy!

I notice the "happy mom equals happy baby" line trotted out most times feeding is mentioned. Breastfeeding doesn't (in itself) cause depression and bottlefeeding doesn't make you ecstatic. They are just two ways of feeding your baby. I don't believe formula milk is a cure for PND or that successful breastfeeding means you'll never feel down.

I like your phrase a whole lot more: "unhappy baby equals unhappy mom". Nothing would make me happy if my kids were miserable and if formula milk made them happy then so be it.

barbiedoll

I breastfed my son until he was 3 (:eek:) which I really didn't expect or plan for, it just happened. However, he was quite a small baby so I also used formula top-ups after a few weeks. It just goes to show that you can do both if you want to and even if you do use formula every day, it won't necessarily mean that your milk will dry up!

Rainbow81, how unfortunate that your baby's tongue-tie wasn't noticed sooner, it probably would have saved you a lot of stress at the time.

Despite having a perfectly normal pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding experience, I felt extremely low after a couple of weeks. It was simply the lack of sleep and, coupled with the fact that I wasn't eating properly, (too tired) it was a recipe for disaster. I ended up really weepy, I lost a lot of weight and to be honest, the formula feeds were a bit of a lifeline, allowing my OH to take over just so that I could get a good night's rest.

We all must do what is best for us and our babies. If you need help with any kind of feeding, do ask someone. Not all midwives and health visitors are judgemental and of course, the good people on here can be a great help! And to be honest, you can be the best breastfeeder in the whole world but sooner or later, your little bundle of joy will be turning their nose up at your organic veggie bake and refusing their fruit so that they can squeeze in a packet of chocolate buttons! :mad:

money_honey

I really did want to breastfeed. Well, after I'd given birth and was in the hospital 10 (yes, 10! :eek:) different midwives tried to get DD to latch on but she was having none of it. After around 18 hours of trying we decided to give her a bottle as she was so stressed and clearly very hungry and we never looked back. I don't feel at all bad that I bottle fed her. I tried breastfeeding, it didn't work, so what. It's great if you can breastfeed, but if you can't don't beat yourself up about it. My DD is a happy and healthy 2 year old now and eats far better food than quite a few of the children who were smugly breastfed for the first 6 months! (Btw I have nothing against breastfeeding mums, I'm speaking of some personal comments I had while bottlefeeding from one or two people who shall remain nameless ).

Interestingly, out of my NCT group of 7 mums, only 2 ended up breastfeeding after 6 weeks as everyone else had various problems.