My wife's ex owes us a lot of money

gizmo111

Fang wrote: »

Great thing that you've done and all, but I'm a bit confused. Why was he expected to pay the rent and council tax after he moved out? If your wife wasn't working then she could have easily claimed benefits to cover them. I can't see how he owes you for these, or in fact maintenance. He certainly owes his ex-wife, and should pay for his child, but other than the CSA minimum, he can't be forced (unfortunately).

Because these were arrears from when he lived there - from OP

I think the thing that hurt my wife the most was he was the rent-payer whilst he was living there, and he assured my wife that a direct debit had been set up for the rent + council tax every month.
So for 18 months, he was not only paying any bills (he lied and said he was paying the bills on time) he also ended up wasting the money on his girlfriends he had on the side.

Who gave you the stack of paperwork to sort out? Presumably all the paperwork relating to rent and council tax would go to the house, and so your wife will have been aware of the situation and should have taken action. Who has all the goods that the loans were taken out on? If you - sell them and pay the loans off.

This is going to seem harsh but given the information you've shared - these aren't his debts. They are your wife's. Getting angry at him for them is pointless.

Many people bury their head when the letters stat coming.
I doubt there are many goods considering they were from BH and most liekly cost a fortune.
We know and I'm sure the OP is aware that his wife is jointly liable for the rent etc, however she was under the impression for 18 months that her ex was paying his share whilst she was paying her share presumably on other bills, food, childcare etc.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

The cost of not having him controlling her life, threatening her and the LO's security and her being able to love you without fear of you hitting her or sleeping with another woman, no matter how many thousands of pounds it may total -

Is probably worth every penny.

diable

Pay someone to show the ex the "error of his ways"

kelloggs36

I hate to say this but I think you need to move on and forget it - you won't get any money he owes and it will eat you up - let it go, you don't owe the money now, and enjoy the rest of your lives together. I am speaking from experience of the same thing btw - although I did get maintenance as it was via the CSA and because he was assessed at a high amount, he did get forced to pay it. HOwever, I could have asked for the mortgage arrears he left me with, half towards the loans etc, bills and so on, but I just wanted to get on with my life and not have to spend all my energy feeling bitter.

Savvy_Sue

Personally, I'd also think it well worth going to court to get his name off the tenancy agreement!

Running_Horse

Been there, done that.

Get over it, move on, and get on with your lives.

It's not worth the upset.

ailuro2

I agree - cherish what you have now - let's face it a fiver a fortnight is nothing to miss whether it gets paid or not - if the CSA were to prove he was working that would be more money to be taken into account when working out any child tax credits etc, only for him to not pay it.

Count your blessings and move on, after you've got him off the joint tenancy that is...;)

DebtHater

Thanks for all the views guys, really appreciated

A few people mentioned are we living with the 'mod cons' bought with the loans - no we are not. I gather from my wife that some of it went "missing" when he moved out, and the cooker broke. So we have all new kitchen applicances, again which I paid for shortly after I moved in. We arent chasing him as much for the loans - they are in my wifes name so very little proof exists that he had anything to do with it.

What we are chasing for is 50% of the rent & CT whilst he was living under this roof, I make it to be about £1600. I dont see why we should pay for him to live rent free for that period, when he promised my wife he was paying the bills out of his account. Then after he did a bunk, my wife realised that he was lying for the whole 18 month period, he never paid a penny towards the rent, and he also hid the letters from her. It wasnt until she started seeing the letters that she realised she had been taken for a ride.
And, worryingly he was breaking into the property when we werent here. This was up until about 8 months ago, when we realised that someone was breaking in. I had to change both the locks, and it stopped. Although we didnt see him red handed, he was bragging about it to everyone and items had gone missing that apparantly turned up at his house...... just sounds really dodgy. And from the landlords point of view, he is still entitled to use this property because his name is on the tenancy

I have had some minimal legal advice, the advisor then also mentioned that because his name is still on the tenancy and he is being awkward by not agreeing to take it off, he is STILL liable for 50% of the monthly rent. The adviser was adamant that we could claim for 50% of the rent from 2007 right up until present. Anyone have any thoughts on that?

January20

DebtHater wrote: »

Thanks for all the views guys, really appreciated

A few people mentioned are we living with the 'mod cons' bought with the loans - no we are not. I gather from my wife that some of it went "missing" when he moved out, and the cooker broke. So we have all new kitchen applicances, again which I paid for shortly after I moved in. We arent chasing him as much for the loans - they are in my wifes name so very little proof exists that he had anything to do with it.

What we are chasing for is 50% of the rent & CT whilst he was living under this roof, I make it to be about £1600. I dont see why we should pay for him to live rent free for that period, when he promised my wife he was paying the bills out of his account. Then after he did a bunk, my wife realised that he was lying for the whole 18 month period, he never paid a penny towards the rent, and he also hid the letters from her. It wasnt until she started seeing the letters that she realised she had been taken for a ride.
And, worryingly he was breaking into the property when we werent here. This was up until about 8 months ago, when we realised that someone was breaking in. I had to change both the locks, and it stopped. Although we didnt see him red handed, he was bragging about it to everyone and items had gone missing that apparantly turned up at his house...... just sounds really dodgy. And from the landlords point of view, he is still entitled to use this property because his name is on the tenancy

I have had some minimal legal advice, the advisor then also mentioned that because his name is still on the tenancy and he is being awkward by not agreeing to take it off, he is STILL liable for 50% of the monthly rent. The adviser was adamant that we could claim for 50% of the rent from 2007 right up until present. Anyone have any thoughts on that?

Use it as a bargaining tool. Tell him if he doesn't get his name of the tenancy you will be seeking legal advice as he is 50% responsible for the rent! The man is clearly an idiot to not realise the implications for him. And/ or a control freak who cannot let your wife go, eventhough she is now re-married!

pulliptears

move on.

Yes, you paid his debts and he thinks he can do as he pleases, but one day he will realise that you have the one thing he will never have, the love of that little boy who will grow up with a Dad he can be proud of, not some waste of space scum bag.