Is my daughter depressed?

daisyfields1

I have seen a lot of people use a different name to post personal posts and this is what I feel happiest doing.

I will keep this quite short.

I have 2 children - 6 yo girl and 15 yo girl. All their lives, their dad has been here. We were a very close family. Basically we have split up - he walked out on us.
We explained to the 6yo the best we could, she is very tuned in for her age and did understand. Their dad picks comes here on a Saturday and spends the day with them then goes away. This is the only time they see him.

6yo is happy with this but is getting bored of spending time with him. Also, it's very akward having him in *my* house. We are trying to find a different way of him spending time with the girls.

It is my oldest daughter I am worried about. She has taken this very hard. She doesn't cry much usually, she never has. But at the moment she gets upset at the smallest of things. I've been looking online at depression symptoms and I am worried that she is depressed, not just 'sad'.

She can seem moody, but I don't think she is moody if it makes sense. She just has lack of interest in having a conversation with anyone, she'd rather just go back to their room and be alone. She is eating a bit less. She is still eating, but I have noticed things she used to love she's gone off of. She is exhausted all of the time. I can barely wake her up for school in the morning. She has been doing worse at school because there's just nothing from her. She has complained about being sore, her back, her legs, which I read can be a sign of depression also?

Any confidence she had is just gone. She has very low self esteem, calling herself ugly and saying how she has such a horrible personality.

This might seem pointless, posting this, but does it sound like depression - or am I just worrying too much?

daisyfields1

Regarding the sleep, I know a lot of teenagers hit 'that stage' where they are just exhausted. But she has always been such a light sleeper. There are nights I wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning and I can hear her in her room doing whatever.

DCFC79

How is the older 1 when her dad is around, does she perk up at all,

suggestion what they could do, maybe see a film but might be a bit hard with 1 being 6 and the other 15

as for your original question i cant answer im afraid

daisyfields1

DCFC79 wrote: »

How is the older 1 when her dad is around, does she perk up at all,

suggestion what they could do, maybe see a film but might be a bit hard with 1 being 6 and the other 15

as for your original question i cant answer im afraid

She doesn't perk up at all, she has no interest in seeing him. I think she is angry with him - should have added that in the first post.

A film could work.

POPPYOSCAR

I think it might help if perhaps he took her out on his own perhaps one evening when the younger one is in bed.Perhaps then he can rebuild his relationship with her and talk things out with her on an adult level.

daisyfields1

Thanks for your reply. Sorry to sound like I'm turning down advice but we did try this twice, and she just said nothing and was glad to be home. It is upsetting for him as it seems as though she doesn't want a hting to do with him... but I'm not blaming her for that after him walking out.

POPPYOSCAR

Yes, she is bound to be angry with him, I can fully understand that.It must be hard for you worrying about her when you are obviously going through your own pain at the same time.

I don't know if she is depressed only a doctor could advise you on that one.

Can you perhaps talk to one of her friends and see if she will open up to them? It might help her to talk it out with her peers if possible.

daisyfields1

She has one close friend but she's become distand with other friends recently. I will maybe ask that friend how she has been.

POPPYOSCAR

How long has it been since the break up?

oompahloompah

FWIW I don't think your daughter is suffering from depression - depression is an illness, and while it can sometimes be triggered by tragic events, it is still a clinical matter. However I'm not a doctor, so if you are genuinely concerned about this then take her to her GP.
However, she is very sad and is suffering because of the break-up. Many people describe the end of a marriage as being exactly like a bereavement, and to me, reading what you have said, this is what your daughter is experiencing. She is also at an age where everything is changing for her anyway - her body, her emotions, her life in general, and she will probably have exams to think about as well - and to have this to deal with too is very scary for her; she will be feeling very insecure about everything just now. She probably won't tell you this either but she will also be worried about you, and about money, and all these things as well. And she is angry with her dad. He is probably the last person she wants to be with just now.
You are obviously concerned about her and love her very much - make sure she knows this, and that you are always there for her if she wants to talk to you about anything at all. And I wouldn't force the issue with her dad - if she doesn't want to spend time with him, then don't force her to - this will only upset her more, if she thinks she is being treated like a child. Give her the option of seeing him, either at home or away from the house, and if she says she doesn't want to, then that's that. She will come to terms with what has happened in her own time, and will go back to her dad when she feels ready.
HTH

daisyfields1

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

How long has it been since the break up?

It's been 10 months, but he moved out about 8 or 9 months ago.