DNA results???

DUTR

pooches wrote: »

If you can read my previous post but in short my husband has had a letter off the csa about being the parent of a 12 year old child. That he has NEVER know existed! He did have a relationship with the mother of the child but it was very carefree in that they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend if you know what i mean. We have lived in the same town as the mother and child all this time and out of the blue got the letter off the csa.

My husband opted for DNA testing which he had done on the 22nd Feb and we got a letter a couple of days later saying they were waiting on the mother and child to be tested?? We haven't heard anything since so how much longer have we got to wait for the results??

Thanks in advance for any replys

The other party has a while to submit their samples, IIRC I submitted my sample about a month after recieving the invite and the other party was after that (about 6 weeks) , in the meantime, do allow in your budget a further 15% net deduction, just in case the results confirm the accusation .
Good Luck

pooches

Just to let you all know we have still heard nothing from the csa!!! Hubby doesn't want to ring as he thinks no news is good news (grr men) and he wants to see how long we have to wait

clearingout

typical man, yes! Seriously, with the CSA, no news doesn't mean anything at all other than they probably haven't done the job they're supposed to be doing. I would call and get it over with.

Mojisola

The longer the mother puts off having the test, the less likely it is that he's the father. If she was sure, she'd have been there on day 1 getting it done.

DUTR

pooches wrote: »

Just to let you all know we have still heard nothing from the csa!!! Hubby doesn't want to ring as he thinks no news is good news (grr men) and he wants to see how long we have to wait

You will hear from Cellmark 1st :beer:

DUTR

Mojisola wrote: »

The longer the mother puts off having the test, the less likely it is that he's the father. If she was sure, she'd have been there on day 1 getting it done.

I'm not so sure, it was a while before I submitted my sample and then a while after before the other party submitted theirs, the result was never in doubt

pooches

Right well we have got the results today and ......he is the father!

What happens now?

And where does my hubby stand with having his rights taken away as he hasn't known of this child for 13 years? This is going to have a LARGE financial burden on our family now if we had of known of the child we wouldn't have had 3 children or the house we are in ect... Also we had phone calls and letters stating that hubby had 2 weeks to have DNA test done or he would be the father financially, he had his done on the 22 feb but the mother and child didn't have theres done until 8 april. Why does she get so long we thought it was all done with because we hadn't heard anything for so long

And then there is telling our 3 children and where we go from here.

I am soooo emotional about it all.

PHYTHIAN

OMG!!! What a shock for you all!!!!

I really can't offer much advice re CSA etc but read your post and didn't want to run.
I think you need some sound advice pretty urgently....financial AND quite possibly ,personal.

Good luck with everything, I hope it works out well for all of you.

DX2

pooches wrote: »

Right well we have got the results today and ......he is the father!

What happens now?

And where does my hubby stand with having his rights taken away as he hasn't known of this child for 13 years? This is going to have a LARGE financial burden on our family now if we had of known of the child we wouldn't have had 3 children or the house we are in ect... Also we had phone calls and letters stating that hubby had 2 weeks to have DNA test done or he would be the father financially, he had his done on the 22 feb but the mother and child didn't have theres done until 8 april. Why does she get so long we thought it was all done with because we hadn't heard anything for so long

And then there is telling our 3 children and where we go from here.

I am soooo emotional about it all.

So your husband will now have to pay child support, as you have 3 children within your household you will get a reduction. As the child is 13 he won't have any PR, if he wants these rights he will have to go via court. I guess it's very early days does he want contact with the child?

Child support will be payable from the time the CSA got in contact with your OH.

clearingout

Oh gosh, I don't think I expected that result. (((hugs)))) must be awful for all of you, not least the child who has been denied a relationship with his father. I would give it a few days to sink in and then maybe think about counselling to work out where he wants to go from here? I think, really, it needs to be his decision rather than a joint decision (but I might be wrong) and I wouldn't tell your children until your husband is sure of what he wants. Of course, assuming the child knows, it may well only be a matter of time before the news makes its way to your children (assuming you live in the same town?).

Take care of yourself in all of this. Make sure you keep talking with you husband and that you have friends/family you confide in about your thoughts and feelings. I can imagine you must be feeling the whole range of emotions and you need an outlet for that just as much as he does.