How to 'get rid' of an ex-friend?

RedwoodBrook

Yeah. As above really. Sounds a bit like playground politics to me. Life really is too short to even worry about situations like this.

MrPhoton

Get rid of her from your circle of trust. You don't need to associate yourself from people like that. Don't pick up any of her calls and she will get it after a while.

Amber07

You say you have moved to the other end of the country? Easy to just stop contacting her then, not like you're going to bump into her on the street

onlyroz

If you don't like her, and your other friends don't particularly like her either, then would anybody really care if she wasn't invited to your wedding? There's no way on earth I would invite someone like this, and by the sounds of things it's not like it will cause too many problems with your friends/family if you leave her out.

If she gives you grief just nod and smile politely, and then get on with your life.

kelloggs36

She can expect what she likes, but it is up to you not to send the invite. If she asks where her invitation is just tell her that you didn't send one as you aren't close and it is close friends only.

hulagirl79

Just dont invite her, you are all grown ups and not at school, so if she tells people utter rubbish and they belive her that's their problem. Life is complicated enough without playground drama like this. You are getting married enjoy it and sod anyone like her who does not like it.
Good luck with the wedding. X

CL

I had a long term friend who I decided to get rid of. She was a disaster area. My family literally took her in (for years), as she told my mum she wanted to return to school and get her degree. She was ungrateful, surly, dropped out, was jealous of me having my then boyfriend (now husband). I included her in everything and made my friends her friends and all she caused me was stress worrying about her and her depression and life choices. I tried my best for years and then decided enough was enough.

Out of pity I invited her to my hen night and wedding. At the hen she got so drunk on the bus on the way to the night club that my very good friends had to repeatedly pick her up off the floor and persuade the bouncers to let her stay. The whole night became about her. Everyone was staring at the state of her and my good friends had to leave the nightclub to carry her back to the bus. She was so bad that the police escorted them to make sure she got there safely. They left her on the bus. When we returned to go home everyone had left a few drinks on the bus for the way home. Of course she had woken up and drank these.

On my wedding day I was standing at the church doors about to walk down the aisle and she came running up the church steps with her loser boyfriend shouting "wait!" and pushed past me to enter the church while everyone was turned to see the bride.

I now have no contact with her. She has sent me Fb messages to apologise, but I have a family of my own and know that my life is much better without her. So DON'T invite her to your hen or wedding!

minerva_windsong

I had an ex-best friend like this - constantly dropped us for blokes then expected us to pick up the pieces, tried to make out like she knew more about things than people who were going through them did, started stupid arguments about nothing etc - but I stuck with her far longer than I should have because I was scared she'd turn all our other friends against me. (I was young and very naive like that as I had real problems with my self-confidence at that age, which she didn't help by telling me I didn't have any real problems and therefore wasn't depressed.)

In the end the only thing that worked was moving to university and cutting off all contact with her - getting a new number, not telling her my address, blocking her on Facebook etc. Radical but it worked, and whilst I have lost other friends because of it I stand by my view that they weren't real friends anyway.

I agree with what everyone else said - stop contacting her (say you've got a new number or something if it helps) and don't invite her to your wedding. It's your and your OH's day and therefore you should only have people you want there, not people you feel like you 'should' have there.

FatVonD

You mentioned that she'll assume she's invited anyway so for your own peace of mind I think you need to go for the short, sharp shock treatment and don't let it drift.

Message her on FB and say that you you wish her well but you feel your friendship has run its course and don't intend to remain in contact. Then block her and screen your calls. It won't be pleasant but at least you won't have to worry about her just turning up.

Email all your mutual friends and say something like 'I don't want to let this turn into a drama but this is what I've done and I'm just letting you know so you're not put in an awkward situation if she mentions it'.

One of my ex workmates had a friend 'break up' with her in this way, she whinged about it a bit but we knew both of the people involved and everyone could see exactly why the other girl had done it!

Judith_W

Second FatVonD! Sounds like a good way of handling it, like ripping of a plaster rather than hoping it'll fall of by itself.