Modern Times

[Deleted User]

Generali wrote: »

A banker, a Daily Mail reader and a benefit claimant are sitting at a table sharing 12 biscuits. The banker takes 11 and says to the Daily Mail reader, 'Watch out for that benefit claimant he wants your biscuit'

(via Squiffs at fool.co.uk)

Then a justifiably angry man walks in with a baseball bat and beats the banker to death.

Even after the c*nt is dead he keeps pounding the bat on what remains of the broken skull and fragments of brain matter, blood and bone fly into the air like fireworks on bonfire night. Feeling calmer and happier, he then receives all the biscuits as a token of thanks.

Loughton_Monkey

Generali wrote: »

A banker, a Daily Mail reader and a benefit claimant are sitting at a table sharing 12 biscuits. The banker takes 11 and says to the Daily Mail reader, 'Watch out for that benefit claimant he wants your biscuit'

(via Squiffs at fool.co.uk)

.... whereupon the Daily Mail reader grabs the remaining biscuit instantly.

The banker, having a spark of humanity, passes the empty plate to the benefit claimant saying "Here you are. Have these crumbs and be grateful for them."

In walks a little man from HMRC. He immediately breaks the Mail reader's biscuit in half, and takes the half. "Tax" he said. Seeing 11 in front of the banker, he takes 7 and a half, saying "Tax", "VAT", and "Special Banker Tax". He then gives 8 biscuits to the benefit claimant and walks out.

The Daily Mail reader goes to the toilet, and upon returning, he sees the benefit claimant has gone, and the banker is sitting there with 11½ biscuits. "How come you have all those?" he asks.

The banker pocketed all his biscuits, got up, and walked out saying "Interest on the crumbs."

andyroberts1967

PasturesNew wrote: »

All I can think of now is The Biscuit Game.... for lads only.

What biscuit game? I know more girls that eat biscuits than lads too!!

RHYSDAD

andyroberts1967 wrote: »

What biscuit game? I know more girls that eat biscuits than lads too!!

If it's the one I'm thinking of then some of them might object to the 'icing' on them........

globalds

The benefit claimant looks at the other 2 guys with a smile on his face thinking ............The real joke here is that I used to be a line manager at the Biscuit factory.

diable

A Banker and biscuits? get a life it's Champagne and Caviar for them, biscuits for the DM reader and KFC, McSh1t, Benson and Hedges for the benefit claimant ;o)))))

mostlycheerful

PasturesNew wrote: »

All I can think of now is The Biscuit Game.... for lads only.

Golly, you're full of surprises, aren't you, Pastures. I knew it as "Soggy Biscuit". Well, not strictly speaking lads only, girlies are welcome to eat the biscuit, if they want. Not that they often do, it has to be said. Would you like some biscuits with your tea? Or do you prefer cake? Or both? Or shall I choose for you, perhaps you prefer not to be asked and faced with the dilemma of decision making. Hmm.

As always, Conrad, an erudite interesting one from you. Yes indeed. A lot of people enjoy owning a lot and being rich, if possible. It's natural. Whether it is then therefore simply hypocritical for rich people to suggest chucking the odd biscuit or some crumbs to poor people is a question arising. I'd say that being stinking rich but nevertheless lobbing the odd ten pence to people less well off is better than giving them literally nothing.

The natural order is for the strong and clever to grab and the rest just get crushed underfoot. So one or two percent of the ruling elite own everything and the rest of us are just slaves to them and really should count ourselves lucky to be allowed to live and be slaves at all, rather than most of us, especially the useless ones, just being liquidated and got out of the way.

So this notion that nature's failures need to be kept alive for some reason is not particularly realistic. Hence a billion or two starving in Africa and Asia despite all the countries in those parts having plenty of millionaires and even some billionaires living in palaces. So if just a little bit was shared out then they'd all be fine. But in those countries the rich are mostly just totally selfish and don't care at all about all their brothers and sisters and cousins starving to death just a few miles down the road.

Jonbvn

bendix wrote: »

It was probably the banker who's work created 24 biscuits in the first place. The government took 12 for tax.

Bankers don't work, they just shuffle the pack.;)

Generali

Jonbvn wrote: »

Bankers don't work, they just shuffle the pack.;)

They give savers interest on their money, such as it is right now.

nicko33

Generali wrote: »

They give savers interest on their money, such as it is right now.

nah, the computer does all that for them