Bloody Husband

Numpty_2

Am so peed off, so apologise for the rant.

OK, so I'm not the best at trying to pay my debts off, however I make all my payments on time, and always make at least the minimum (usually more). I gave my husband his bank statement last week, and just noticed it on the floor unopened - so being naughty I opened it (this is especially since he binned another letter yesterday without hopening it!) - £170 of charges in one month. I asked him directly the other month if he was having trouble again, and getting charges as lots of letters arrived from him, and he said straight faced no, so not only is he struggling, he's f-ing well lied to me as well.


ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!

JohnInDebt

Does he have internet banking where he can see his past statements?

Definitely start the ball rolling with regards to claiming these illegal charges back.

Numpty_2

Yes and yes, but I'm not allowed to help as I'm interfering and manipulative

duncans-mum_2

Hi Numpty. No apology needed for the rant, it must have been a bit frustrating to say the least. Has he heard about reclaiming bank charges. You could just drop it into conversation about how you can claim and ask "do you think you'd have anything worth claiming?"" The thought of getting some money back might make him more open about talking about it maybe? Although this to some may sound a bit sneaky/treating him like a child. But he may get cross at you for opening his post.

People lie when they are scared to admit things to their other half. I have read quite a few posts on here over time on how people genuinely petrified of admitting that they have got themselves into a bit of a pickle.

I'm not trying to make excuses for him, honest!!!!:D

Numpty_2

But he's messed up before - so have I, he knows I dont mind and I just want to help - but this isnt good enough!

He has just come in and reckons this is the first month and he wasnt expecting it. He's agreed to the claiming back of charges, just to add his account (as well as the joint) to the letter and wave it under his nose to sign

Di

sounds like you need to take a breath and think about what you are going to do.

IMO you need to talk, which wont be easy, as you have opened his mail. he will use this to be indignant and steer the argument to that of trust. dont be led into that, yes you did wrong but maybe for the right reasons.

do you talk about money? it could be that it will end up that you both start to take another look at your debts and sort out how you both can resolve your money problems.

Numpty_2

Di wrote:

sounds like you need to take a breath and think about what you are going to do.

IMO you need to talk, which wont be easy, as you have opened his mail. he will use this to be indignant and steer the argument to that of trust. dont be led into that, yes you did wrong but maybe for the right reasons.

do you talk about money? it could be that it will end up that you both start to take another look at your debts and sort out how you both can resolve your money problems.

I try, he lams up and tells me he knows what I'm doing and am interfering.

I always open his post :rotfl:

Di

Numpty wrote:

I always open his post :rotfl:

perhaps he has a point then

Willsnarf1983

Numpty wrote:

I try, he lams up and tells me he knows what I'm doing and am interfering.

I always open his post :rotfl:

a very big pt

Will

Raksha

I wonder if this is a symptom rather than the real problem?

benood

Hi - we had similar ish problems a while ago my wife was struggling to keep her joint account under control - first direct text message banking got it right under control, I even get a text weekly so I know if she's falling of the wagon - it also means if she stops looking a the texts for a few days I can get her back on track - works for us, stopped low level bickering almost as well as sat nav!!;)