Dad's funeral please help

davidetm123

Mkay, wish i had looked at "What to do when a partner/spouse dies" before now. Here's my situation:

1. Dad died on friday after a long illness! myelodysplasia! not sudden but still unexpected! LOL!
2. I'm the oldest son at 27 therefore its my responsibility to arrange the funeral etc. (Dad got an estimate in OCT 2010 approx £3000+)
3. Mum earns approx £11,000 yr.
4. Dad was 53 when he passed and had at least 27 yrs NI Contributions (not sure if his helps) my mum is 50 (turns 51 in may, hope she doesn't read this or I may get a wee slap! LOL!)
5. My mum isn't in receipt of benefits as their combined salary B4 his illness was too much! (Although not by far)!
6. No estate to speak of e.g. no house/savings etc.
7. All life insurance was paid out at start of his illness and has been used during his illness + a few thousands of debt has built up, which I found out about today (in my mums name).
8. I earned more than both Mum/Dad Combined before I lost my job, Now on Income based JSA after 7 months out of work, no savings to speak of!
9. I owe them both over, lets just say a few ££££+ from a loan they acquired a few yrs ago to help me through a rough patch + all the wee loans they've given to me since! Thank god i've managed to get a hold of myself in the past few months re my own finances (took my savings to run out thou).
10. My Dad got an estimate for his funeral in Oct 2010 which was about £3000+!

So! if anyone is in/has been in a similar situation! Or if they have a few pointers? I need to arrange all on Monday!
I've been told to apply to the social fund for help by family who have been through this B4, however, i'm unsure how this would affect my mums claims for "Bereavement Payment/widow's pension" or even if they're mutually exclusive!

Many Thanks in advance!

bluenoseam

Best bet is to see what happens when you speak to the undertaker, they should be able to put you onto the right places to go. And well, take this as a pretty big kick in the pants - get yourself some insurance sorted out & atleast cover that side of things, you might only be 27 but well, it would be prudent!

merlin68

The social fund would go on your mum's income as next of kin, so therefore she should get it. If you arrange the funeral you will end up paying for it.

kelloggs36

Contact the benefits people who can advise if there is anything available towards funeral costs. My mum had retired but my dad had not when he died, and she got a funeral grant. I'm not sure if this is because she had already retired and him not, or because he had not retired on its own. You have nothing to lose by asking. Your dad may be due a tax refund - you need to contact the Inland Revenue. Your mum unfortunately will be liable for the debts run up in her name and so will need to seek some advice regarding repayment if she will find it a struggle to do so. Your mum may qualify for some widow benefits - again, you need to make enquiries with the benefits agency (or whatever they are called these days!!)

It is horrible when a parent dies - so much to think of! My heart goes out to you having to deal with it, but when I did it for my mum when my dad died, it helped with the grieving process.

kelloggs36

Who can get a Bereavement Payment
You are entitled to a Bereavement Payment if your husband, wife, or civil partner who has died paid enough national insurance contributions. If they died as the result of an industrial accident or an industrial disease, it does not matter whether they paid enough contributions or not.
To get Bereavement Payment you must have been below state pension age when your husband, wife or civil partner died, or - if you were over pension age - they must not have been entitled to state retirement pension, based on their own national insurance contributions, when they died. You must have been married to your husband or wife, or in a registered civil partnership with your partner when they died.
Until 6 April 2010, pension age was 60 for a woman and 65 for a man. This is changing from 6 April 2010 because the age difference between men and women is gradually being equalised and the retirement age for both men and women is gradually being increased.
If you want to check when you will reach state pension age, there is a state pension age calculator on the Directgov website at https://www.direct.gov.uk.
How to claim a Bereavement Payment
If you are getting State Retirement Pension when your husband, wife or civil partner dies, you do not need to make a claim for a Bereavement Payment, as long as you meet the other conditions. You will automatically get the Bereavement Payment when you notify the benefits office of your partner's death.
In other cases, you should claim a Bereavement Payment on form BB1. You can get form BB1 from your local benefits office or, in England, Wales and Scotland, from the Directgov website at: https://www.direct.gov.uk.
You can also claim a Bereavement Payment by calling Jobcentre Plus on:
Freephone: 0800 055 6688
Textphone: 0800 023 4888
Welsh language line: 0800 012 1888
In Northern Ireland you can get form BB1 From your local Social security or jobs and benefits office or from the NIDirect website at: https://www.nidirect.gov.uk.
You can also claim a Bereavement payment in Northern Ireland by calling the Pension Service claim line:
Freephone: 0808 100 2658
Textphone: 0808 100 2198
You must claim within twelve months of your spouse or civil partner's death. If you could not claim within this time because you did not know your spouse or civil partner was dead or it had not been confirmed, it may be possible to make a late claim.
If you think you may be able to make a late claim you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by email, click on nearest CAB.
When you claim a Bereavement Payment, you will have to provide your national insurance number and evidence that it belongs to you. If you do not know your national insurance number but you think you have one, you should provide information to help the office to identify it. If you do not have a national insurance number, you will have to apply for one before you can claim a Bereavement Payment.
For more information about national insurance, see National Insurance – contributions and benefits.
You may also have to supply your spouse’s or civil partner's death certificate, your marriage certificate or civil partnership certificate or other evidence to support your claim for Bereavement Payment. If you do not have this evidence, you should not delay your claim.
If you have problems providing the required evidence, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by email, click on nearest CAB.
How is your Bereavement Payment paid
Bereavement Payment is paid direct into your bank or building society account, a Post Office card acc

kelloggs36

Bereavement Allowance
Bereavement allowance is a weekly benefit paid to someone for 52 weeks from the death of their husband, wife or civil partner.
Who can get Bereavement Allowance
To be eligible for Bereavement Allowance, your spouse or civil partner must have died on or after 9 April 2001. You can get Bereavement Allowance if you are 45 or over when your spouse or civil partner died, but under pension age (60 for women and 65 for men).
Your husband, wife or civil partner must have paid enough national insurance contributions for you to get Bereavement Allowance. However, if they died because of an industrial injury or disease the contribution conditions do not have to be met.
To get Bereavement Allowance, you must not be entitled to Widowed Parent’s Allowance. However, you can get Bereavement Allowance if your Widowed Parent’s Allowance ends because you stop getting Child Benefit, and this happens within 52 weeks of your spouse or civil partner's death.
Bereavement Allowance is part of your taxable income.
How much is Bereavement Allowance
The rate of Bereavement Allowance depends on how old you are when your husband, wife or civil partner died. If you were aged between 45 and 54 you get a lower rate which depends on your age. If you were 55 or over (but under pension age) when your spouse or civil partner died or you stopped getting Widowed Parent’s Allowance, you get the highest rate. The rate of Bereavement Allowance may be reduced if your late husband, wife or civil partner did not pay enough national insurance contributions. In some cases, you may get an additional pension on top of bereavement allowance based on your late spouse or civil partner's earnings.
You can find the current rates of Bereavement Allowance at the benefits A – Z section of the Department for Work and Pensions website at https://www.dwp.gov.uk
How to claim Bereavement Allowance
You should claim Bereavement Allowance on form BB1. You can get form BB1 from your local benefits office or, in England, Wales and Scotland, from the Directgov website at: https://www.direct.gov.uk.
You can also claim Bereavement Allowance by calling Jobcentre Plus on:
Freephone: 0800 055 6688
Textphone: 0800 023 4888
Welsh language line: 0800 012 1888
In Northern Ireland you can get form BB1 From your local Social security or jobs and benefits office or from the NIDirect website at: https://www.nidirect.gov.uk.
You can also claim a Bereavement Allowance in Northern Ireland by calling the Pension Service claim line:
Freephone: 0808 100 2658
Textphone: 0808 100 2198
You should claim Bereavement Allowance at the same time as you claim a Bereavement Payment. However, if you claim too late to get a Bereavement Payment you can still get Bereavement Allowance, as long as you meet the entitlement conditions.
You can get benefit for up to three months before you make your claim. You should ask for this on the claim form. You do not have to give a reason for claiming late as long as you can show that you were entitled to Bereavement Allowance before you made your claim.
When you claim Bereavement Allowance, you will have to supply your national insurance number and evidence that it belongs to you. If you do not know your national insurance number, but you think you have one, you should provide information to help the office identify it. If you do not have a national insurance number, you will have to apply for one before you can get Bereavement Allowance.
For more information about national insurance, see National Insurance – contributions and benefits.
You may also have to supply your spouse or civil partner's death certificate, your marriage or civil partnership certificate or other evidence to support your claim for Bereavement Allowance. If you do not have this evidence, you should not delay your claim.
If you have problems providing the required evidence, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by email, click on nearest CAB.
Bereavement Allowance, change in circumstances and fraud
You may commit benefit fraud if you give incorrect or misleading information, or fail to report a change in your circumstances which mean you may no longer be entitled to Bereavement Allowance. Even if you are not committing fraud, you can cause an overpayment which will have to be repaid. Your circumstances can be checked at any time while you are claiming Bereavement Allowance. Benefit fraud is a criminal offence and you can be prosecuted or asked to pay a penalty.
If you are worried about whether you might be suspected of fraud, you are under investigation or you have been convicted, or if you have been asked to repay an overpayment of benefit, you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by email, click on nearest CAB.
How is Bereavement Allowance paid
Bereavement Allowance is usually paid directly into a bank, building society or Post office account. If you cannot open an account or you would have difficulties with this method of payment, you should let the benefits office know. It is possible to pay Bereavement Allowance by cheque.
If you have a problem with the way in which your Widowed Parent's Allowance is paid you should consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by email, click on nearest CAB.
How long is Bereavement Allowance paid for
You can only get Bereavement Allowance for 52 weeks from the date of your husband, wife or civil partner's death. You might only get it for part of that time if you have moved onto it from Widowed Parent’s Allowance. If you reach state pension age before the end of the 52 weeks you will no longer be entitled to Bereavement Allowance. State Pension age is 60 for women and 65 for men.

kelloggs36

Funeral payments
A funeral payment is a payment to help people on a low income with the essential costs of a funeral. You must show that you have met these expenses. You do not have to repay a funeral payment, although it can be recovered from the estate of the person who has died.
Who can claim a funeral payment
You can claim a funeral payment if you or your partner is receiving Income Support, income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance, Housing Benefit or Council Tax Benefit, income-related Employment and Support Allowance (ESA), or Pension Credit. If you are getting Child Tax Credit and your award is high enough, you can claim a funeral payment. If you are getting Working Tax Credit with an extra amount for disability, you can also claim a funeral payment. Your capital (for example, savings) does not affect a funeral payment.
Responsibility for the funeral
You will not be granted a funeral payment just because you are paying for a funeral. The Jobcentre Plus office has to accept that it is reasonable for you to be responsible for the funeral costs and that there is no one else who should be paying for it. If you are claiming funeral costs for your child who has died or if you are the partner of the person who has died, you can be paid a funeral payment as long as you meet the benefit conditions. This applies to lesbian and gay partners as well as heterosexual partners. It also applies whether you were married, in a civil partnership or just living together.
If you are a close relative, family member or a friend of the person who has died, you may be able to get a funeral payment, but it will depend whether there are other relatives alive who are not on benefit. If there is someone closer or equally close to the person who has died who is not on benefit, you cannot usually get a funeral payment. In this situation, the Jobcentre Plus office will also consider whether it is reasonable for you to accept responsibility for the funeral expenses. They will look at how well you knew the dead person.
What costs can be met
A funeral payment will not cover all the costs of a funeral. It will not pay for expenses which are already covered under a pre-paid funeral plan.
Otherwise, a funeral payment can include:
the costs of a new burial plot or the costs of cremation
the cost of transporting the body to a funeral home or other place of rest, but only if the journey is over 50 miles. If the journey is over 50 miles, only the part of the journey over 50 miles will be paid for
the cost of transporting the hearse and one car of mourners to the funeral, but only if the journey is over 50 miles. If the journey is over 50 miles, only the part of the journey over 50 miles will be paid for
the cost of one return journey for you to attend or arrange the funeral
the cost of getting documents to release the assets of the person who has died.
A funeral payment can also include a further £700 for other expenses, including:
the funeral director's fees
a headstone
flowers
extra religious requirements.
If there is a private funeral payment plan, there is a limit of £120 for any of these other expenses that are not already covered by the funeral plan.
A funeral payment will be reduced by any available assets of the person who has died. This means any resources they had which can be used to pay towards the funeral, for example:
lump sum insurance payments
pension scheme payments
contributions towards funeral expenses from charities or relatives
any money paid out under a pre-paid funeral plan.
Even if you get a full payment from the Social Fund to cover funeral expenses, the DWP may recover all or part of it from the estate later on.
How to claim a funeral payment
You can claim a funeral payment from the date of death up to three months after the date of the funeral, even if you have already paid the funeral bill. The claim should be made on form SF200, available from your Jobcentre Plus office. In England, Wales and Scotland you can also apply by filling in an application form on-line on the Department for Work and Pensions website at https://www.dwp.gov.uk although you will need to print the form in order to sign it. The claim should be made on form SF200.
In England, Wales and Scotland, you can get the form from your local Jobcentre Plus office. You also apply by filling in an application form that you can download from the Department for Work and Pensions website at: https://www.dwp.gov.uk.
In Northern Ireland, you can get a form from your local Social Security Office or Jobs and Benefits office. Or you can download the form from the Department for Social Development's website at: ww.dsdni.go.uk.
You can claim a funeral payment to cover burial or cremation fees and other essential expenses. You can also claim up to £700 for certain other expenses such as funeral director's fees, coffin or flowers.
If you have used a funeral director who has not yet been paid, the funeral payment will usually be sent direct to them. If the funeral director has already been paid, the payment will be made to you. You may not be able to claim back the full costs of the funeral.
The person who died may have left money, property or other things of value. This is known as an estate. If there is an estate, you may have to pay back the funeral payment out of it.
If there is property or personal things which have been left to a widow, widower or surviving civil partner, they will not be counted as part of the estate.
If you are refused a funeral payment or think your award is lower than it should be, you can ask for the decision to be looked at again or you can appeal. You should do this within a month of the decision.
For more information about funeral payments from the Social Fund, go to the Directgov website at: https://www.direct.gov.uk.
For more information about funeral payments from the Social Fund in Northern Ireland, go to the Northern Ireland Directgov website at: https://www.nidirect.gov.uk.
For more information about asking for a decision to be looked at again or appealing, see Problems with benefits and tax credits.
If you are not happy with a funeral payment decision you can also consult an experienced adviser, for example, at a Citizens Advice Bureau. To search for details of your nearest CAB, including those that can give advice by email, click on nearest CAB.

Mojisola

davidetm123 wrote: »

5. My mum isn't in receipt of benefits as their combined salary B4 his illness was too much! (Although not by far)!

She may be entitled to some now. Contact the Welfare Advisors at her local council. They will help.

katebl

Hi David,

Firstly sorry for your loss, I know how you feel having to deal with everything as this is what happened to me when my Dad passed away. As kelloggs36 has posted details of bereavement allowance (the weekly payment) and bereavement payment (the lump sum) just thought I'd advise that they are definitely worth applying for and a lot less daunting than some of the other forms you may come across in the future! It's a very simple booklet and we did ours at the jobcentre, Mum was eligible for both. Can't comment on the social fund payment as we chose not to go for that.

Your mum may want to go to the CAB if she is now going to struggle repaying their debts seeing as they are all in her name, failing that you could always post up a SOA to see if everyone can help her cut back? Funeral costs vary but obviously excess cars, flowers, will all up the cost... My Dad's worked out to about 2k with one family car and a cremation. Wake was held at home as that's where he belongs and all the family helped with the catering.

If you need any further advice feel free to PM me - I'm a bit younger than you but feel like an old hand at this now. Have had to learn so much in the past couple of years and it can definitely seem overwhelming!

On a personal note I would say don't be afraid to accept any help offered to you by family/friends - I pretty much did everything myself at my insistance thinking keeping busy would distract me from grieving and as such everyone left me to it, now I can't really discuss my feelings with anyone as I never did in the first place!

davidetm123

I would first like to thank everyone for their help and support, God knows what people done in the days before the internet and online forums. I've read all the relevant information now and discussed all with my mum and a few other family members, so i've got a good idea of what to do, and at least we don't need to sort this all out until after the service! Many thanks again!

iluvfreebies

Just wanted to say i'm sorry for your loss
Although its obviously a worry i would spend the next few days putting your dad to rest and supporting your mum and other family members etc - the money side of things can be dealt with in the weeks and months to come

Take care and all the best for the next few weeks