Just some thoughts

janeawej

Jim, not much I can say but have you asked or got any help from the school or the Education authorities education welfare officer regarding your sons low attendance? Often if there are financial problems within a family it can result in low attendance at school, let them know you are having problems and issues with you and your wifes health, these will impact on your son and might be part of the reason why his attendance is low, hang on in there x

secretshopper75

Jim, just read your post and wanted to give you a hug, life can be so unfair and I can't imagine how you must be feeling to be thinking what you did that day...I wish I could wave a magic wand and take away your wifes illness and help make things a little easier..keep in touch and remember you have lots of support.

tugrin

Hello Jim
Im an East Anglian too, probably quite close to you geographically and I certainly felt very close to you when I read your post. I too have sat contemplating ending it all more than once - even ended up call ing the Samaritans once. I think at the time the only thing that stopped me was the thought of how my kids would feel. For them it wouldn't end - it would be with them for the rest of THEIR lives. It was extremely hard to 'stay with it' and carry on by myself and I find myself in and out of depression to the point where I need medication on a regualr basis now.
You are right about this lousy country too. Most people have the most unrealistic expectations of what it means to be happy and they ALL hinge upon having LOTS of money. Most children in school say their ambition is to win the lottery! This is a ludicrous situation and we have been slowly seduced into it by the empireof advertising - I always tell the children in my class to beware of all advertising because its just about greedy people who want your money. Yhat sounds like I have a crusade but we are expected to TEACH them how to write adverts all the way through junior school!
Hang on in there Jim - dont forget the Samaritans are there as is your GP and everyone here.
Much love
X

facing_up_to_it

God bless you and keep you and your family safe Jim. I cannot offer any constructive advice but my heart goes to you and your loved ones. Can I also say God bless all of you on this particular forum for your unwavering compassion x

ani_26

Are you ok, Norfolk_Jim?

Big hug to you xx

Norfolk_Jim

ani_26 wrote: »

Are you ok, Norfolk_Jim?

Big hug to you xx

Yes, I'm okay, thanks - I just took some time out to think things over away from the family.

I've worked out a plan that will clear my CC debts by 2015 IF nothing changes for the worse (And its possible I suppose that things could get better?). Three and half years of austerity is less than many here are facing.

Though suicide sometimes crosses my mind - the horrible consequences for those who have to pick up the pieces also crosses my mind too. Even as I type this I can hear my 2 kids laughing happily in the next room. I like to think I would not put them through that. You just get so that you want it to end.

I had a breakdown before, all the drugs, all the therapy, and a lot of support at work. I really doubt they would be quite so supportive a second time, I really have to hold it together.

I think the hard thing about a plan is the time it takes to start making a real difference and the way things change almost as if life was out to get you!

I intend to spend some time over on the OS board and also see what I can come up with to distract me in the family fun dept. Half the trouble is thinking about it all the time - its like the chinese water torture - drip-drip-drip - its hardly surprising if it drives you mad.

Mrs Jim is due in the hospital on Tuesday. Heres hoping it is something readily treatable.
The School - I just have to deal with it. They adviced me to get a lawyer but I have no money to pay for one - and I dont qualify for legal aid as I have too much income! I dont get how fining or imprisoning a caring parent is meant to make things better?

It would be nice if we could generate some threads on how to "live" rather than only look at peoples SOWs or advice on dealing with debt collectors and such. I'm sure people used to get by happily in "simpler" times - I wrote a post about it after watching "on the buses" one time.

Again, my thanks for your kindness.

ani_26

I'm glad you're ok, Norfolk_JIm x

Well we think we were happier in simpler times, and i'm sure its true. Looking back, maybe they were some of the happier times in my life. I have'nt quite got my head around the concept of having a budget, as such, yet. I just can't seem to reach the stage where theres enough continuity of money in my account. I'm fed up of living like this, for sure. I know how to live on a low budget, i just don't know how to live on no budget.

secretshopper75

Norfolk Jim, glad to hear from you and know that you're ok (well you know what I mean)...the sound of your childrens laughter will surely be enough to make you smile and keep you going through these bad times..are there any places nearby you to take the children to at weekends or half term that are free or are of nominal value to enter? you;ve probably already seen this but thought I'd post it just in case..

http://www.dofreestuff.com/norfolk.html

Norfolk_Jim

Today I'm wavering back and forth not sure what way to turn - I'm sure you'll all know what I mean when I say I can't decide on how to live. Its only a few years and my kids will fly the nest and that season will be gone forever. Do I live a life of enforced frugality now and try to clear my debt or do I accept that I can't clear debt that quickly, work out how to make the payments and enjoy as best I can the last few years of raising a family? The thing is, I can see that without something changing, it's going to get much much worse - but I could sell the house once the kids are grown up - if I'm not made redundant first - Back & forth, back & forth not knowing what to do for the best, decidig one way then regretting it - going around in circles.

Mrs Jim has to go in for, I think its called an angiography? Not sure how this will affect her in the future and if its another hinderance to work.

Its hard to see where a better life is going to come from. I have to address the debt because over the next few years we will be losing all our child related benefits - that about 30% of our total income - so we need to be prepared for when that happens, although it should be fairly gradual. But it looks like all the frugality and sacrifice will be in order to stand still.

It is difficult to keep positive, though I guess some folk are naturaly positive. At least I do have some equity in the house - if the worst comes to the worst it can be sold and people repaid and I just have to start again - but really? Would that leave me any worse off than I am now? Would it be so very different a life to many people here?

I wish I knew what to do for the best

CH27

Jim have you spoke to the CCCS about your situation?

They should be able to give you some good, impartial advice.