Just some thoughts

Norfolk_Jim

Thanks for your replies. I will respond but just at this moment, right now, I'm just not able to. But I do appreciate your suggestions and good wishes - bless you all.

bugslet

Just keep posting Jim. And look round you and live in this moment. You are worrying about the future that you can't do anything about,right now, you have eaten, a roof over your head and your kids are healthy. I'm not trying to be pollyanna-ish and be disrespectful to how you feel, but as another poster said, they've put it in the can't do anything at the mo pile.

littleowl

Jim
Don't try to think too far ahead. I know it is good to plan for the future and try to second guess what is coming but if you can just take one day, one problem, at a time it can be more manageable. When all you see is the overall picture it can be overwhelming. Set small goals - step by step - and concentrate on each one at a time. Then every time you achieve a small goal you are rewarded. Perhaps I am not expressing myself too well but I really believe the solution is in manageability. Sometimes looking at the bigger picture only is too daunting and it immobilises us. Be realistic and assess what you can do and what you can't. Set out to achieve those things you can and little by little you will get there.

soldiergirl

Please please please look after yourself - wishing you all the very best and hope things start to look up for you very soon xx

Flash-bang

I really wish you the best Jim. Have you thought about telling your son a bit about the situation and appeal to his better nature about school attendance and requests for clothes? If he knows something about how things are he may be able to take some little pressure off you.

Clarie_2

Hiya -
yes, I agree, it's downright depressing when you think of the state of the country - all this cumulative stress and money worries and debt:-( And it's also encouraging when you see on here person after person who's determined to fight and battle their debt. You're right, it is a bit like the war, in that austerity spirit. One of the biggest blessings of being poor is that you get to a point where you realise happiness isn't about money in the end - and that being without it is fine. Your examples shine out, proving that!

Can I echo bugset and really encourage you to go to your GP? Depression and anxiety are real illnesses, worth taking time off work for, and even more worth getting treated. They are very treatable - there are good medications and all GPs should now be able to refer you for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which is very effective, and can help loads with dealing with worries etc. In fact, it's so effective, the government are paying for it to be available because they'll actually make money if all the people off work with it return to work!

So all the best, be well, and do look after yourself first of all, - it will help you can look after your wife and son.

Clarie

ani_26

I know exactly how you feel, Norfolk_Jim, and believe me, its one of the ways i've contemplated, too, but maybe not the best, for all concerned. Its the ultimate decision, and one of the hardest you'll ever have to make, ( not that i'm condoning it ). I just understand it.

Unfortunately, you do, need money, to survive in todays soceity.

I think its still, incomprehensible to most people, how you could end up feeling like this.


A big hug to you x

MiaowMiaow

Hi Jim
I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through at the moment. I recommend you definitely see your GP about your stress/depression, I have been in the same situation where I have contemplated ending everything but there is no shame in asking for help. It helped me. You are not alone and there are people here to listen and offer advice. Do you have anyone you can confide in? All the best and look after yourself x

jeanniebeanie_2

I am unable to offer practical advice. I just want to say that in your dark moments, when you are having these nightmare thoughts then post here (the people here really do care and really can help) or ring the samaritans 08457 90 90 90.

You may feel unable to discuss how you are feeling with your wife for fear of adding to her stress/condition, but you don't have to face all this alone.

Along with others who have answered you I truly wish you a way forward and some peace of mind.

lindelou

Hi Jim,
i have to tell you jim that you are not alone. i lie awake every night worried that there is never enough money to last the month -are my 2 unemployed sons ever going to get a job, is my brother ok who has bi-polar-a very unpredictable situation to be in.Can i earn any more money to keep us going etc etc.So take heart we are all in the same boat. It is only the mega rich who are un affected by this crisis-oh dear i feel even worse now!!
regards
lindelou xx;)